The Ghost Within
by shellgirl123
Summary: "Do as the heavens have done, forget your evil; With them forgive yourself." A night out with family ends in a nightmare none of the brothers could have ever imagined. Brother pitted against brother, can the love and strength of family persevere or will
1. Chapter 1

The Ghost Within

Against all time and reason I have decided to write another full length story involving our favorite brothers. When the muse hits, there is no way to beat it back, therefore, we write. I hope you all enjoy it as much as some of my previous ones. And always thanks to everyone who has reviewed my previous stories. Please continue the tradition :)

Summary: _"Do as the heavens have done, forget your evil; With them forgive yourself."_ A night out with family ends in a nightmore none of the brothers could have ever imagined. With brother pitted against brother and their family foundations shaken, can the love and strength of family perservere or will they be torn apart forever?

* * *

"Again!"

"Now parry. And thrust. Good!"

"Now hold!"

My muscles were screaming. I could feel them trembling under my skin as I struggled to hold. I hoped no one noticed the slight tremble in my weapon as I held it thrust forward, fighting my exhaustion. I glaced to my right and saw Don holding his bo straight forward, beads of sweat rolling down his face. I smirked slightly as I noticed his eyes narrowed to slits in unhidden weariness. Mikey was to my left, keeping his weapon twirling quickly in front of him, his forward leg trembling visibly.

"Raphael, focus!"

Shit. I snapped my head forward again and turned all of my attention to holding my stance. I bore my gaze into my forward weapon, channeling all of my energy into holding it steady. OK. Focus. It isn't long before my eyes start drifting over to my fourth brother, and I have to bite back a groan of frustration when my eyes finally fall on him. There he is, our Fearless Leader, making this grueling training session look like a leisurely stroll in the park. His face is focused, his body held in position like an unmovable rock. His face shows no exhaustion, his breath is even. He looks like he could hold position all day. Showoff.

"And release!"

I dropped my arms with a silent sigh of relief. Mikey let out a long groan next to me, shaking his arms loose.

"Man, is that, like, really necessary?" he mumbled, causing a lopsided smile to appear on my face.

"Kneel." I heard sensei say, and turned my attention back toward him, letting my sore body fall to a kneeling position next to my other exhausted brothers. "You did well today, my sons." He said, standing in front of us with his walking stick perched under his folded hands. "Donatello, good effort, but make sure you are always keeping your weapon steady and your motions clean. Michelangelo, you are a strong fighter, but you must try to stay more serious during practice. Raphael, good movement, but stay focused on the task at hand." I frowned at the criticism. I was focused. "And Leonardo, very skillful, I can tell you have been practicing hard."

I rolled my eyes and let my head turn slightly toward Leo and narrowed my eyes. No criticism for Mr. Perfect. He can do no wrong. All hail the mighty Leo.

"Teacher's pet." I muttered under my breath. I watched out of the corner of my eye as he turned his head to give me a pointed stare. I smirked. Score one for Raph.

"You are all dismissed." Sensei finished, and the four of us stood, raising our tired bodies from the mats and began packing up our equipment.

"Man, I'm beat!" Mikey exclaimed as he quickly hung his chucks on the wall. "Wanna get some pizza?"

* * *

"Mmmm, mmmm! I think we have a new winner. Cheesy pizza with jellybeans and skittles. Complements to the pizza genious, A.K.A. muah!"

"Hey, Mikey."

"Yeah, Raph?"

"Shuddup!" I yelled halfheartedly, looking over my shoulder at my hyperactive brother. I could see him standing not too far behind me, his legs swinging loosely over the side of the building we were chilling on. To my side were the demolished boxes that had been full of piping hot pizza not long before. The night was cool as winter was beginning to release its grasp on the city and a brisk March wind blew over the tops of the building. I looked over my head and my eyes met the large full moon that illuminated the city in an eerie glow. Large, thick clouds were rolling toward it, threatening to block out the light it was providing. I sighed softly. I loved the city at night.

"I dunno, Mikey." I heard Don speak behind me, rousing me from my thoughts. "I think my superior and ingenious pizza concoction beats yours any day."

"Cha right!" Mikey yells back. "There is no way, bro. I'm sorry, but you just can't take my amazing pizza genius. I think I'm finally overshadowing you."

I couldn't help but snicker at my brothers' light hearted bickering. Mikey more of a genius than Don? Yeah. When monkeys fly out of Leo's butt!

"Hey guys, quiet down a minute." Leo spoke up. His tone of voice made me turn my head toward our oldest brother. He was standing rigid, unmoving across the rooftop, his foot mounted up on the side of the building. The weak rays of the moon illuminated his form, and I could see his face was drawn tightly in concentration. I rose and made way over to where he was standing, feeling the need to know what he had seen.

"What's up, Leo?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. Leo didn't answer right away, he didn't even move. His eyes narrowed further and his mouth drew tighter. I couldn't help but be taken aback by his intensity. He had definitely heard something. Maybe tonight would begin to liven up after all.

"Foot ninja." Leo said finally, his voice hard and flat. "I don't know what they are up to, but I think we should check it out."

"Aww, so much for our quiet pizza party." Mikey said, his voice now right behind me. "Count on the Foot to always ruin our fun."

I watched for a reaction from Leo, but his face remained impassive. I couldn't tell what was running through his head. I heard Donny take a few steps closer and saw him shiver lightly as the cool wind picked up. I waited a minute more for Leo to say something, to give us some sign of what he wanted to do, but he remained silent. I narrowed my eyes and sighed. Were we just gonna stand here and do nothing all night?

"Come on, Leo." I pushed, my muscles twitching from promise of a fight. "Are we just gonna sit here and stare at the stars all night or are we gonna do something?" I jumped up onto the edge of the roof, hoping my action would spark a reaction from my so far quiet brother. I got what I wanted.

"Raph, you need to be patient!" Leo responded, his voice filled with annoyance.

"Yeah, well, patience doesn't beat the bad guys. I'm goin to go check it out." And with that, I leapt from the edge of the roof to the next, moving in the direction Leo was focused on.

"Yeah, uhh, alright, let's do it." I heard Mikey speak unsurely behind me. I smirked as I moved across the rooftops. I knew Don and Mikey hated it when I put them in the position to choose between me and Leo, but I could always count on Mikey to follow behind me. I could imagine Leo sighing in frustration behind me, but if he did it was drowned out by the wind whipping around me as I ran toward the Foot. I ran quickly across the rooftops until I finally caught sight of a few Foot ninja, not far ahead. I quickly slid to a stop and ducked down silently behind the edge of the roof, trying to remain unseen. As I peered over the edge, I could see below me a few Foot, maybe fifteen, attempting to break into the building across the ally. My eyes narrowed. What were they up to?

"So, what's the deal?" I heard Mikey whisper behind me. I looked over and saw him knelt down next to me, gazing down at the Foot below. Two more sets of quiet footsteps came up behind me and I felt Leo and Don peering over my head to get a look in the ally below.

"It looks like they are trying to break into that building." Don said quietly.

I snorted. "Wow, Don, I'll never question your astounding brain power again." I spouted off sarcastically. I was rewarded with a pointed glare from my brother in purple.

"So, what's the plan?" Mikey asked, looking over toward Leo expectantly. I heard Leo shift behind me.

"We should wait and watch. They are up to something, and I think we should find out what." He said, his voice steady and sure. I rolled my eyes. Great. The old wait and do nothing routine. So typical. I ground my teeth together in frustration.

"Waiting gets ya nowhere." I said, my voice quiet but forceful. I stood up and turned to face our Fearless Leader. "I say we kick their butt. That'll stop them from getting what they want."

"Yeah, and then we have no idea why they were out here." Leo said, his eyes narrowing at me. "We need to figure out what their intentions are. The Foot never do anything without a purpose."

"We know what their intentions are." I said, my anger beginning to build. "They're breaking into that building, and we need to do something." I took a forceful step toward Leo, my face now only inches from his. I drew my face into a tight frown and narrowed my eyes. The sting of critisism from tonight's practice was still simmering in my blood and I wanted to show our perfect brother that I wasn't going to back down, that my plan was better. He didn't step back in response, but held his ground.

"But, why, Raph?" He asked, staring straight back at me, his gaze never wavering from my own. "Why are they breaking into the building?"

"Who cares?" I answer back. "What matters is that they are, and if we sit around here watchin like a bunch of pansies, we could lose our opportunity to put a stop to it. I don't care what you think, Fearless, but I'm going in. You can join if you want." And with that I turned away and leapt from the side of the building into the middle of the ally. I vaguely heard Leo call my name from the rooftop above, but I ignored it. It was time for battle.

"Hello, boys and girls." I said, looking around at the surprised ninjas in black around me. "You kids look like you are up to no good. Time for your punishment."

It only took a second for the first Foot ninja to attack. He came upon me quickly but I easily dodged his attack, and countered with a swift kick to his stomach, knocking him across the ally way. With that the rest of the ninja leapt into action. I quickly blocked a pair of swords with my sais, kicking a second who had snuck up behind me. I dispatched another and turned to see a sword coming at me. I moved to dodge the attack, but didn't have to. In a flash Leo was there, landing on top of the attacking ninja with blinding speed. Without a moments hesitation he rose and immediately countered the next attacking Foot.

"Whoo hoo, it's party time." Mikey exclaimed from somewhere behind me. I didn't have time to turn as another black clad ninja came at me. I quickly raised my sais and a loud clang ran through the air as my weapons connected with his. I pushed my strength into him and with a growl beat him backward and lunged at him with my elbow raised, knocking him backward in a daze. I turned to block another oncoming attack, but was met with nothing. Done already? My eyes narrowed.

"Hey, where are they all going?" Mikey asked, and I turned to look around me. The remaining ninja were quickly fleeing, disappearing over the tops of the roofs and into the suffocating night.

"What was that all about?" I asked, thoroughly confused.

"I guess we'll never know." I heard Leo grind out behind me, anger lacing his tone. "What were you doing? Jumping into the middle of a band of Foot? Completely disregarding what I had to say?"

"It sure beat standing around and doing nothing!" I yelled back. I felt anger begin to quickly boil through my blood at Leo's words. "That's all you ever wanna do. Stand around and watch. See what they're up to. Where does that get anyone?"

"It gets answers, which you would learn if you could exercise some patience and focus!" Leo countered, his voice becoming louder. He sheathed his swords with a swift motion and crossed his arms in front of him in his stereotypical 'I'm better than you' posture. My blood boiled more.

"Hey, guys…" I faintly heard Mikey's voice interrupt from somewhere nearby. But I was too heated to stop now. Leo was really pissing me off and someone needed to put him back in his place.

"Oh, patience and focus." I sneered back at him, taking a few menacing steps toward him. "Patience and focus is the answer to everything. Just be patient Raph. Just focus more Raph. Then you can be just as good as the amazing Leo." I pushed my face into his, my teeth bared in anger. "Well I got news for ya, Leo. Not everyone can be as amazing and focused as you."

"I'm not…Raph, get off it." Leo answered back, his voice thick with frustration. But I wasn't about to stop now.

"You always want us to be just like you. Patient and perfect. Well I got news for ya Leo. We don't wanna be like you!" I yelled back, my voice getting louder, more forceful. I didn't miss the barely noticeable flinch that crossed his face at my words, but it was gone in an instant, replaced with a steely gaze that bore into me.

"First off, I'm not perfect and you know it!" Leo said back, his voice softer now, though still filled with anger and menace. "And I never said I wanted you to be like me. All I want is for you to listen to me for once."

"Because you are the only one that can be right." I counter back. "You are the only one that deserves to be listened to."

"I never said that." He said, frustration once again seeping into his tone. "All I ask is for you to show some restraint. Think things through. Try and see my point of view for once."

"Yeah, Leo, well I don't work that way." I ground out, meeting his gaze head on. I could see him clench his teeth tighter at my words.

"I'm just trying to lead you guys the best that I can!" He answered back.

"Yeah, well, who needs ya!" I scream in response. I turned away from him and went to face my younger brothers who were standing silently behind me. Mikey held an awkward frown, his foot shifting uncomfortably along the dusty ally. Don was absentmindedly twirling his bo, looking anywhere but at his two fighting brothers. I shook my head. At least someone could stand up to Leo sometimes. "Come on, guys." I said, passing them and walking heatedly down the ally. "Let's get outta here."

I didn't hear footsteps following me immediately in response and when I reached the end of the ally, I turned my head slightly to see if they were following. I saw the two of them still standing awkwardly in the ally, looking from me to Leo, obviously torn on what to do, on who to side with. I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms, waiting for them to follow. Then I saw Leo's stance slowly relax, his arms uncross and fall limply to his sides. He drew a long sigh.

"Go on, guys." I heard him say softly. "Go with Raph and go home. I'll be there in a bit."

"But, Leo." I heard Don say quietly. "Come home with us. It'll blow over."

Leo laughed softly then, turning his gaze away so that it was hidden by the shadows of the ally. I had to strain my ears to hear what he said next. "It's alright." He answered. "I'm sorry I let our night out end this way. Go home with Raph and I'll be there soon. I'm going to take the long way home."

Mikey and Donny stood for a few moments longer, still unsure of what to do. Then finally, after one last nod from Leo, the two of them walked toward me and the three of us walked silently to the end of the ally where a manhole awaited us. I lifted the lid and watched as Mikey, then Donny leapt into the safety of the sewers. I got ready to follow, but decided to chance one last look down the ally. Leo was already gone.

I rolled my eyes in mocked frustration, but in reality my anger was already beginning to dissipate. I was starting to feel a little guilty for some of the things I said to my older brother, and I was certain he was already beating himself up about the fight too. It always seemed to end that way. I looked once more down the empty ally and resolved that I would talk to Leo about it later. I finally turned my gaze back to the open manhole and leapt down it, following my brothers through the sewers and back home.


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you for all of the starting reviews! Without further ado, here is Chapter 2!

* * *

The night was growing darker. What was left of the full moon was now just a sliver of luminescence as the thick, suffocating clouds rolled farther across the sky, blanketing the surrounding world into inky blackness. The wind was brisk, almost frigid as I made my way across the roof tops of the city. I stopped and took a deep breath of the chilly air, feeling it burn my lungs and sting my eyes as I faced full on into the draft. I took another breath, and another. I squinted my eyes and had to turn away from the unforgiving wind as it bit at my face mercilessly. I wanted to go home, but I knew that I wasn't wanted there. Not yet anyway.

I let out a soft sigh, watching my breath materialize as it met the cold air. I drew my mouth into a frown and let myself sink to the hard rooftop, my legs falling almost automatically into a lotus position. I had to think, I had to regroup before I headed back home, and I knew Raph needed to do the same.

I already felt guilty for the way the night turned out. We were supposed to go out and have fun, get a little fresh air and a few pizzas after the grueling afternoon practice that had stretched into the evening. I would never admit it, but my body was exhausted, my muscles were screaming from exertion after practice had ended, and taking a relaxing night off with my brothers was exactly what I had wanted. Unfortunately the good spirits didn't last.

Did I say something wrong? What was it that I continually did that set Raph off so often and so furiously. Was it my tone of voice? My actions? My body language? Because for the life of me I didn't know why we clashed so horribly. I knew that our styles were different. Very different. But that didn't explain why he refused to listen to me, to even entertain my plans before abruptly casting them aside and doing the exact opposite.

My eyes narrowed as frustration began to take me over once again. My breath became more swift as I remembered how brashly he had entered the fight. He could have been hurt. He could have gotten Mikey or Don hurt. Didn't he understand that I would never be able to live with myself if that were to happen? We needed more structure, more organization, because only then could I try and keep them safe. But when Raph rushes in with his sais blaring, I lose all control of the situation and I'm afraid one day I won't get there in time.

I let my face fall into my hands and rubbed my palms roughly against my eyes. As badly as tonight went, I'm not mad. Not anymore. I'm overwhelmed with frustration. I want so badly to be able to communicate with Raph better. I want us to connect and to be able to work as a team. There are times when we are in perfect sync, when we both understand each other and fight and exist as a great team. But then there are other times, times like tonight, when everything goes wrong. I want those times to end, but I don't know how to make that happen.

The night grew darker around me and I raised my eyes to the sky, unable to make out even a single star through the rolling clouds. The wind picked up even more and I pulled my arms around myself trying to warm my chilling skin. I couldn't help but sigh once again and pulled myself up to my feet, stretching my leg muscles as I rose. It was time to head home.

I got a running start and leapt easily from one building to the next. A smile crossed my face as I leapt from rooftop to rooftop, loving the feeling of freedom as I swiftly crossed the city. I was so caught up in my elation that I almost passed by the ally way with the manhole I desired. I stopped abruptly and mentally berated myself for not paying closer attention.

I was about ready to scale down the side of the building into the ally, when a soft sound crossed my hearing. I froze in response, unsure if I had actually heard anything or if it was just the wind playing tricks on me. I stood painfully still, straining my ears to listen for another sound, any hint that I had heard something suspicious, but I could hear nothing else. I shook my head and once again began heading to the roof edge when I heard the ring of steel travel over the blowing wind. I turned quickly, my hands reaching skillfully for my swords and unsheathing them in one fluid motion. I was immediately on the alert, and crossed my swords defensively. I wasn't alone.

The wind whipped my bandana tails around my stony face as I held position, my eyes darting back and forth, waiting for the hidden threat to show itself. A flicker of movement at the corner of my eye aroused my attention and I shifted my gaze. Foot ninja beginning to appear silently out of the night. They were coming from the building to my right, to my left. They were behind me and in front of me. The roof top that was once empty was no longer. I quickly let my eyes scan the impending threat, my heart sinking as I estimated the numbers I was up against. There were at least thirty, maybe more that still hadn't shown themselves. My eyes narrowed. I couldn't believe I had let them sneak up on me so easily.

The numerous dark clad ninjas advanced toward me, their padded feet not making a sound as they moved across the rooftop. I was closed in on by a mass of black. I was surrounded. Then out of the black night, she appeared ominously, almost as if she materialized out of the darkness of the night itself. Her skin tight black suit reflected weak beams of the moonlight above. Her blood red bandana tails whipped fluidly in the wind as if part of a graceful dance. Her pink lips were drawn in a tight frown as she slowly approached me. I ground my teeth together, my hands unconsciously tightening on my sword hilts as she came closer.

"Karai." I ground out, feeling my muscles tighten in anger at her presence.

"Leonardo." She voiced, looking right at me, piercing me with her gaze. "A coincidence meeting you here tonight."

"Why do I not believe for one second that this was a coincidence." I answered sarcastically, never letting my gaze stray from hers. Realization slowly began to wash over me as the attempted break in from before crossed my mind. "That was a lure earlier." I said, thinking out loud. "The beginnings of a trap."

She shrugged then, a slight chill moved down my spine. "It didn't work exactly as planned, but here you are." She continued. "Draw the turtles to us, and separate them. The fight with your hotheaded brother accomplished what we failed to do earlier."

I narrowed my eyes and felt my heart quicken beneath my plastron. "What do you want, Karai?" I found myself asking. I watched as she took a few steps closer to me, her slim body moving gracefully despite the cool, biting wind. She drew out her sword slowly, causing the blade to sing musically as it was pulled from the sheath across her back. She took the sword and looked at it lovingly, then pointed it in my direction.

"Just you." She said menacingly. I only had a second to register what she had said before she yelled out the words that would turn my evening into a living nightmare. "Foot ninja, attack!"

In a split second a sea of black descended upon me. I barely had time to block the first attack as it swiftly fell upon me. I quickly knocked away the first set of blades before turning quickly and blocking another. The attacks were coming so quickly, endlessly, it was all I could do to block one after the other. There were so many of them, all attacking at once. I flipped backward, trying to escape the onslaught for only a second just to catch my breath. I was immediately encountered by more Foot. A swift kick to one, an upper cut to another.

I could feel myself beginning to tire and I knew I was going to need help. I threw back my current attacker and jumped nimbly in the air with a round house kick, knocking back three other ninja. I took the momentary reprieve to grab for my shell cell. I only had time to scroll to the first name in my cell and press send before the device was knocked mercilessly from my fingers. I reached for it quickly, but it was knocked out of my grasp and I was forced to forget about it as I had to block another quick attack.

Sweat was rolling down my body despite the chilly night. I was becoming exhausted and didn't know how much more I could take on my own. Just as I was sure that I could not block another blow, the attacks suddenly stopped. The remaining Foot backed away dutifully, still keeping me fully surrounded, but allowing me to stand alone, panting heavily, my muscles shaking with fatigue. Suddenly the sea of ninjas parted and Karai walked through the masses, her sword still drawn.

"Very impressive, Leonardo." She said slowly, eyeing my exhausted body as she came closer, measuring how much remaining strength I had. I watched her warily, trying desperately to catch my breath and take advantage of this short break she was allowing me. My whole body hurt. I was bruised. I could feel blood trickling down my side from a wound I didn't even know I had sustained. But I refused to show her my weakness. I stood myself tall in front of her, and though I was panting with exhaustion, I kept my gaze steeled on her, never letting it waiver.

She began to circle around me slowly, her sword held at the ready by her side. "I am surprised you were able to hold so long against my many Foot ninja." She spoke, never taking her gaze from me. "But it's no matter. I am growing tired of this game, and it is time to bring it to an end."

I brought my swords up defensively once again in response to her words, but I was unable to stop the next attack. Almost immediately I felt a short prick along the skin of my neck. I quickly lowered one of my swords and swatted the small object away. The small dart clattered to the ground lightly. I eyed it quickly, then raised my eyes to glare at the conniving woman in front of me.

"So this is how it will be done, Karai." I said flatly, my eyes narrowed in unhidden anger at her move. "You have now resorted to fighting without honor."

She broke her gaze from my piercing stare and I could almost imagine that she felt ashamed. The moment passed quickly and I found her raising her sword once again. I kept my gaze leveled on her even as I could feel the haze begin to slowly roll in around my eyes. My swords began to feel heavier and I blinked rapidly trying to clear my vision.

"Can you feel the affects of the drugs?" A deep familiar voice spoke. Out of the corner of my blurred vision I thought I saw a flapping trench coat. My head began to feel foggy and I struggled to keep my heavy eyelids lifted. I barely noticed Karai's small hand gesture and had to move my heavy weapons as quickly as I could to block the new oncoming attack. I crossed my swords and caught the sword of the ninja in front of me, using all of my remaining strength to keep the blow from falling upon me. But while blocking the attack in front of me I was unable to stop the next blow that came from the side, knocking me to the ground. My swords clattered loudly across the hard, cold, rooftop, lost from my desperate grip. A swift kick connected with my side and I went down, gasping roughly as my injured side connected with the ground. Another kick to my plastron, a kick to my unprotected head. I could do nothing to protect myself as the drugs continued to spread through my bloodstream, causing my mind to become clouded and numb. I barely felt myself being lifted by my arms and set upon my knees, so hazy were my thoughts.

I used what remaining strength I had to lift my head high and meet my heavy eyes with the woman who had brought this upon me. She stood before me, tall and statuesque, her sword pointed directly at my neck. I knew this was the end for me. My sluggish thoughts shifted to my family and my heart broke at the thought that I would never see them again. I would never see my home again. I felt a lump in my throat but refused to let even a single tear fall. Instead I stared unwaveringly at my attacker, determined to go down with as much honor as I could muster.

Karai stared down at me for a short moment, then raised her sword, her eyes narrowing with malice. "It ends now." She said. And with that the sword descended upon me and I knew no more.


	3. Chapter 3

Up the hallway. Back down the hallway. Stop and listen. Up the hallway. I couldn't stop repeating the nervous pattern as my restless feet moved me back and forth across the lair. It was way too quiet, the only sounds coming from the T.V. in the living room where Mikey sat perched watching the latest Mythbusters episode. I frowned and eyed the clock at the end of the hall. It had been over three hours since we had come home from the ally way fight. Leo had only said he was going to take the long way home. He should have been back by now.

I resumed my pacing with a greater earnest, trying to find some peace of mind and hoping that Leo would be walking through the door very soon. My restless fingers began dancing on the hilt of my sai mimicking the butterflies that were fluttering in my stomach. I was once again at the end of the hall. I took a deep breath, staring holes into the brick in front of me, then turned on my heel and started back down the hall again.

"Hey dude, why don't you chill out for a sec." I heard Mikey yell from the other room. "You're gonna wear a hole in the floor."

I frowned and looked over to where Mikey was sitting on the couch, turned around and staring at me with barely hidden concern. I bit my lip, then made my way over to where my youngest brother was sitting, landing heavily into the cushions next to him.

"Don't ya think he should've been back by now?" I couldn't help but ask, watching Mikey as he leaned over and grabbed another handful of popcorn.

"I dunno, he seemed a little upset." Mikey said casually, shoving the popcorn into his mouth. "I guess he just needed to cool down." He spit out in between bites.

"I guess." I said, still unsure. "But it's unlike Leo to stay out this long. It's pretty late."

Mikey turned and looked at me and shrugged. "I thought you were mad at him." He said, amusement in his voice as he watched me. The ever perceptive Mikey.

"I was." I said in mock defense, shrugging my shoulders back at him. "But, I dunno." I couldn't find the words to finish. Mikey's face formed a wide grin as he watched my internal struggle, then reached for another handful of popcorn.

"You know," he started, shoving more fluffy kernals into his mouth. "You could try and maybe listen to him sometimes." He said, turning back to watch me, chewing his crunchy snack loudly. "You always feel bad after fighting, and so does he. I dunno, maybe that could be something to try. He's only trying to do his best."

"Hey, Mikey." I said, a hint of defense rising into my tone. "Are you taking sides?"

Mikey threw up his hands in defensive surrender. "No, no, bro. I didn't say that, did I? It was just a suggestion." He said, turning his gaze back to the bright T.V. screen, becoming quiet.

A ringing broke through the silence that had so suddenly engulfed the lair. Mikey jumped slightly at the shrill sound that had suddenly erupted from his belt pocket. He quickly began to fish at the belt at his side, trying to loosen the ringing shell cell from its leathery grasp. Once free, he pulled the device to his eyes and gazed at it. "Hey, speak of the devil." He said, a grin crossing his face.

My heart lifted slightly. Leo was calling. That meant everything was just fine. I sighed in relief and leaned a bit further back into the fluffy cushions of the couch.

"Mikey's magnificent, mega pizza parlor, how may I be of service." I heard Mikey chirp into the phone. I smiled at Mikey's antics and let my eyes close for just a second. "Hello?" I heard Mikey say. My eyes opened and I turned my head to watch Mikey who had his brow scrunched up in confusion. "Hey, Leo, dude, you there?" I sat up straight, a heavy feeling sinking into my stomach. Mikey looked over to me, his eyes widening. "Raph, I think something's happening."

I grabbed the phone from Mikey's grasp and put the device up to my ear. A loud thump. The clash of steel. The tortured sound of my oldest brother grunting with exhaustion. My heart raced with fear. Leo was in trouble. "Mikey, go get Donny, now!" I screamed, keeping the cell plastered to my ear. I felt the couch jump as Mikey quickly launched himself from the cushions and ran down the hallway to get our other brother.

"Leo?" I tried, hoping to get some sort of a response. "Leo, are you there?" There was no response, then suddenly a loud crunch filled my ears, and then I heard nothing. I began to panic. I jumped from the couch, clutching Mikey's cell painfully into my fist. I ran to the dojo and grabbed my sais, shoving them into my belt. It was only another second before Mikey and Don ran into the room behind me, quickly grabbing their weapons.

"What's going on?" Don asked, his eyes bleary. Mikey had obviously awoken him.

"Leo's in trouble." I spat out shortly, turning and running out of the room.

Don followed me out, bo now attached to his back. "Wait, what doyou mean?" he asked, worry now filling his eyes.

"How do you active the tracker on these things?" I asked, ignoring Donny's question and frantically pushing buttons on Mikey's cell, desperately trying to bring up some sort of contact that would let us know where Leo was.

Don rolled his eyes and took the device from my hands, pressing a couple of buttons in quick succession. The phone was silent for a moment. My stomach felt like it was filled with lead. Had the tracking device been destroyed? I felt like I could be sick with worry. Suddenly the cell lit up and Donny sighed with relief. "It's working." He said, softly. "Come on, let's go."

We sped from the lair without a moments hesitation. Don was leading the way, staring intently at the small device he held in his hands, the device that would lead us to our oldest brother. The three of us jogged quickly through the sewers, the mossy grey bricks of the cold walls around us flying by in a blur as we rushed forward. It felt like we were running through the endless tunnels forever before Don finally stopped under a manhole and pointed up. "The tracker says he's almost directly above us."

I nodded, and without another second of hesitation, I leapt for the ladder and began to climb as quickly as I could. Once I reached the top I quickly lifted the manhole cover away from my head and threw it to the side, leaping out of the now open hole and out into the night. I stood silently, listening for any sounds of a struggle that would alert me to where Leo now was. The night was silent. Panic once again began to take over.

Don climbed out of the sewers and now stood beside me, staring once again at the cell in his hands. "Where is he?" I asked frantically, looking all around for any clues.

Don was silent for a moment as he stared down at the device in his hands. Then he looked up, his eyes wide. "He's on the roof." He said simply.

I leapt into action, quickly jumping to the nearest fire escape and scaling the metal steps, taking two stairs at a time. I could hear the loud clanging of my two other brothers behind me, but I only had eyes for the top of the roof. I was breathing heavily by the time I reached the top. I hesitated for a moment, listening again for sounds of a struggle, but the night was still quiet. I narrowed my eyes in confusion. I pushed myself up and over the side of the rooftop, my sais ready to engage whatever I met. I was met with nothing. The roof was empty.

I let my weapons drop to my sides and slowly walked farther out into the middle, my gaze darting back and forth for any signs of Leo, trouble, anything. I turned and saw Don as he leapt over the side of the roof.

"What gives, Don?" I asked in exasperation. "You said he was up here."

"This is where the signal is coming from." Don said, now staring again at the cell he was carrying. His brow was furrowed in confusion. He then looked up and began to walk briskly across the rooftop. I followed him, looking for what he had seen. I saw it not to far ahead, a small blinking red light across the rooftop. My heart sank further. Leo's shell cell.

I covered the rest of the distance quickly, kneeling carefully down next to the discarded device that lay forgotten. Don knelt next to me and reached for the cell, picking the shattered device from the ground and turning it over in his hands.

"It looks like it was thrown to the ground." He said, analyzing the small invention.

"So, if Leo's cell is here," I started, my heart quickening. "Then where is Leo?"

Don didn't answer. I stood abruptly, scanning my eyes over the dark and silent rooftop. My heart was beating frantically in my chest as I searched for any sort of clue that would tell us where Leo was. I was rewarded when I saw a shot of red dancing at the corner of my vision. I strode over to the small spattering of color, grasping it in my hand as it blew by. I lowered my eyes to it, immediately sure of what it was, and who it belonged to. I tightened my fist painfully around the small piece of fabric, feeling anger begin to well up within me. My eyes narrowed, my gaze becoming red with rage.

I vaguely heard Don's soft footsteps approach me. "The Foot." He said softly. Hearing those words come from his mouth melted any resolve I still held. I clenched my fist tighter around the red cloth and roared, my enraged scream echoing off the tall buildings and lost in the brisk cool wind of the noisy city. I began to seethe, my mind becoming lost in my rage.

I barely heard Mikey's soft wail of distress. It pulled me from my tunneling anger and I turned quickly and saw my youngest brother fall to his knees across the roof, his eyes wide with disbelief. I swallowed hard and crossed the roof within seconds, needing to know what my youngest brother found, still clutching the red fabric between my fingers. As I came closer I could see Mikey's sillouette outlined by the choked rays of the moon. He was hunched over, his body turned away from mine. It appeared he was cradling something in his arms as he rocked back and forth rhythmically. My steps slowed and a deep fear settled in my heart as I made my way closer. I reached my rocking brother and knelt slowly next to him, my eyes just for him.

"Mikey?" I asked, my voice shaking. He didn't answer but continued to rock, never releasing the object he held in his hand. I frowned and reached my shaking hand toward his shoulder, peering over to see what he held. My head began to spin when I finally saw what my brother cradled so gently in his arms. Leo's swords. Leo's blood soaked swords. My chest constricted, I felt my breaths become harder to take. Leo would never leave his swords. I stared at the once shiny pieces of metal, now soaked in the thick red liquid which suffocated them, dread filling every inch of my body.

I finally pulled my gaze up and looked at Mikey's face. His forest green cheeks were wet with tears, his eyes closed tightly, his mouth drawn into a line of grief, all the while continuing to rock back and forth as if he couldn't stop. I swallowed hard and closed my eyes tightly as well, trying to block out the fear that was beginning to consume me. Finally I gained to courage to open my eyes again and look ahead in the direction Mikey was facing, and immediately wished that I would have kept my eyes closed, because then I would have never had to face the scene was in front of me. Covering the roof before me was more blood than I had ever seen. It covered the dusty rooftop in a thick, reflective pool of red. I felt bile begin to rise in my throat.

"No." I managed softly, leaning closer to Mikey for support. I couldn't take my eyes off of it. God how I wanted to look away, but I couldn't bring myself to avert my gaze from

the horrific scene in front of me. Somewhere behind me, I heard Don's footsteps approach, but I still couldn't tear my eyes away. I heard him kneel next to us, his eyes also trapped on the pool of crimson that so casually covered the roof. I watched numbly as he reached forward, putting a finger into the thick liquid, and bulked visibly.

"It's fresh." He said softly with horror.

I shook my head. "Maybe," I started, choking on my words. "Maybe it isn't his." I tried desperately to work out an alternative in my head. Leo got into a battle with the Foot, and he kicked butt. He spilled his enemies' blood on the floor, but in the rush to escape he left his cell and swords behind. I nodded to myself, clinging to any hope that this may not end up being the worst night of my life. But any shred of hope I held just seconds before was dashed away when I saw what floated in the pool. I watched in horror as Don walked around the red sea to the other side and picked up what my eyes had seen. In his hands he carried what remained of my oldest brother, his blue mask. It was hardly blue now, almost completely soaked through with dark blood. His dark blood. It was severed in one place, as if it had been sliced from his face.

"He's…" I heard Don say in disbelief, his voice thick with grief, about to voice the fear that Mikey and I desperately didn't want to hear, to face.

"No," I said firmly, staring at Don with pointed eyes. I refused to believe it.

"Raph, I…" He tried through a shaking voice.

"No!" I screamed back. How could Don be trying to say this? Leo wasn't dead. He couldn't be. "He's not dead." I said, trying to convince myself. I heard Mikey moan softly beside me, but I couldn't comfort him, not while Don was spouting off these lies.

"Raph," Don said softly, tears falling down his cheeks.

"No, Don!" I yelled again, scrambling to my feet. "If he's dead then where's his body. There's no body!"

"There's…" Don started, but stopped. I could see he was sinking in his own grief. I watched as he looked down and swallowed hard, then raised his head once again to meet my eyes, still clutching Leo's mask painfully in his fist. "There is no way he could have bled this much and still be alive." He forced out. "It's not physically possible."

"Screw your physics!" I shouted. My head was spinning, my mind in full denial. There was no way Leo could be dead. Leo didn't die. He couldn't die. He was Leo. The perfect and indestructible Leo. I shook my head violently, clenching my eyes shut. "No, Don." I managed to respond.

"His swords were left behind…"

"No…"

"His mask is severed…"

"No…"

"There is so much blood…"

"No!" I screamed. "He's not dead. He can't be dead! This is Leo we're talkin about. Leo!" I staggered away from the blood, unable to look at it anymore. Unable to face what the evidence was telling me. I turned and faced Don who was staring at me sadly, his cheeks streaked with tears. "Maybe he's been taken captive. Maybe he managed to escape the attack and he needs our help. We need to start lookin for him." I rambled, trying desperately to make some sense, to try and convince Don that he was wrong.

Don stared at me numbly, his eyes glistening with tears. He swallowed hard and bit his lip, then nodded. "You're right." He said softly.

I sighed with relief. "Then what are we waitin for?" I asked. "We need to search everywhere. Every rooftop, every ally, anywhere he could've ended up. We'll find the Foot and get our brother back!"

Mikey stopped rocking and turned his head toward me at my words. The moonlight reflected softly off of his tear streaked cheeks. "Do you really think he could be alive?" he asked, his wide eyes filled with a new glimmer of hope.

I swallowed thickly and looked back at my little brother. A new determination filled my heart as I stared back at his face. I walked back to where he knelt, carefully keeping my gaze turned away from the thick pool of blood, and put my hand firmly on his shoulder, squeezing it comfortingly. "He has to be." I said resolutely. And I believed it.


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you everyone for the nice reviews! And on to the next installment.

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The night was warm and rainy. The city was alive as people rushed along the sidewalks under the glow of the streetlamps, trying to beat the impending storm. Couples rushed from the open doors of the clubs, trying to snatch up taxis and get to their dry apartments. Guys in their pressed pants and crisp new shirts laughed and kicked their clean shoes in the puddles materializing on the curbs. Occasionally a business man would walk by on his way home after a late night at work, trying desperately to hail a cab. The moon was full, the breeze soft and humid as it cut through the buildings, the rain steady as it sprinkled moisture on the city below, wetting the hair of the people that passed by.

I watched them all silently, my eyes cold but soft. My body leaned against the wall of the rooftop, my knees drawn up, my arms folded neatly across each other, my head resting on top, raindrops slowly tracking their way down my green skin. I was wet and tired, but I couldn't bring myself to leave. This had become a regular thing for me, to come out at night and look, that way I felt like I was doing something, anything besides just sitting in that God forsaken lair and giving in to the inevitable.

It had been six months since that night, since Leo had disappeared. I sighed softly and pushed my body away from the wall, beginning to pace up and down the rooftop. I couldn't stop thinking about that night and how our lives had been horribly changed. I could still feel the bite of the cool wind as it nipped my skin while we searched all over the city for him. I could still see red horizon painted by the rising sun as the night, and our first search, came to an end, which had reminded me too much of the pool of blood we had left behind on the roof. I could still hear Mikey's grief filled sob as Don announced that we had to go back home, that Splinter had to be worried sick, that we would be discovered as the day started.

We had trudged back home silently, our hearts breaking at leaving when Leo's fate was still unknown. We opened the door to the lair to find Master Splinter waiting for us. His eyes were brimmed with moisture as he watched us walk through, just three. "Where is Leonardo?" he had asked, but I could tell that he already had a good idea. I was unable to meet his eyes as Don spouted off what had happened. Only when Don was finished was I able to raise my eyes and look at our sensei. His face was unreadable, his hands crossed calmly in front of him. When he finally spoke, his voice was soft and almost shaky. "I will meditate on this." He said. "Do not give up hope. Not yet." I could tell he was trying to be strong, to stay positive, when deep down even he didn't know if there was any hope worth having.

We had all gone to our beds after he left, though I don't think one of us found sleep. I had only been lying for a few hours when I heard my door open and saw Mikey's head peak around the side. He had walked into my room silently, lifting my blankets and crawling into my hammock without a word. I had opened my arms and let him lay close to me for comfort. It wasn't long before his tears began to wet my plastron. I remember rubbing his shell soothingly, trying to comfort him with my words, but I can't remember what I said to him now.

The next night began a series of fruitless searches, each one coming up empty, and each time stripping us more and more of any hope we had left of ever finding our brother. It seemed as though the Foot had disappeared off the face of the earth. Night after night we looked for any sign of them in hopes that they would lead us to where they were hiding, and to Leo, but night after night we never saw a trace of them. After two months of nothing, Donny had given up all hope. It wasn't long before Mikey followed suit, both of them ready to grieve for our lost brother. Only I was unwilling to give up. Only I couldn't believe, couldn't face that Leo was dead. And so I continued to search, going out again and again, sometimes with Casey, but most of the time alone in hopes that just maybe I would catch a glimpse of a blood red bandana or a ninja in black and my family would be whole again.

On the nights when I was out alone, I replayed the last night I had seen Leo over and over in my head. My words had been so harsh, my eyes had shot daggers at him. It was so clear now that the Foot had alterior motives that night, and if only I would have listened to Leo and hadn't breezed into battle, maybe none of this would have ever happened. When the nights became really quiet I would sit and think of every bad thing I ever said to Leo and take them back one by one, hoping that where ever he was he would hear it. And on the really lonely, hopeless nights, I would pray.

The rain came down harder. I made my way back over to the edge of the roof and peered over once again. I heard the rumble of thunder in the distance. I ignored it. The guilt I felt over my last words to Leo was now my constant companion. It haunted me constantly, following me everywhere I went. It was suffocating me, slowly sucking the life out of me, and I didn't want it to go away. I wanted the guilt to stay forever, as penance for what my anger had done to my brother, to our family.

I felt anger begin to build within me. Anger at the Foot for taking my brother from us. Anger at my brothers and sensei for giving up hope. Anger at myself for the pain I had caused. I balled my fists tightly together and painfully screamed into the night, releasing my frustration in one long note of torture.

"Where?" I yelled out loud, punching my fist into the brick wall in front of me. "Where are you, Leo?"

My only response was a sharp clap of thunder as the storm moved in quickly, the wind picking up and whipping my bandana tails about my face. I clenched my teeth together and slid down the wall to the ground, feeling my anger begin to drain out of me, my strength with it. I buried my head in my hands and wiped my eyes on my palms, my tears mixing with the warm rain drops as they pattered roughly against my skin. I stayed like that, trying to regain my composure. My muscles shivered as the rain tracked over my skin. I clenched my eyes shut. It was time to go home. I lifted my head from my hands, and my wet, blurry eyes couldn't believe what they saw.

There, outlined by the light of a violent bolt of lightening, was Leo. He stood only a few rooftops away, his body tall, his stance still and vigilant, his expression hard and stoic. But within a second, the lightening had gone and the world was dark once again. I quickly scrambled to my feet, almost unwilling to believe what I had seen. I strained my eyes, squinting against the pouring rain, trying to catch another glimpse of what I thought was Leo, the brother that I had thought was lost. I was beginning to think that what I had seen was a figment of my imagination, that in my desperation to see Leo again, I had allowed my eyes to play tricks on me. Another lightening bolt struck, and in the flash of light I was able to make out the figure again, but it was now on the move, running across the rooftops away from me. My heart leapt into my throat and I shot off after it without thinking. I had to know.

My feet sloshed through wet puddles as I raced after the figure I had seen. My breaths were ragged, my muscles were screaming from fatigue as I ran, but pure hope kept me going. I could see the shadow of the figure ahead, occasionally highlighted by a stray bolt of lightning. In the flashes of light I could pick up the hints of bandana tails, the outline of twin swords, the presence of a shell. My heart sped and so did my steps as hope fueled my tiring body.

"Leo!" I called out, hoping he would stop. "Leo, wait!"

But he kept running. He never turned to acknowledge my presence. If anything, his speed picked up. Soon he was farther from me than before and as hard as I tried I couldn't close the space between us. Through another flash of lightning I saw him turn sharply and disappear behind another building. I sped up, hoping to catch him there. I thought I was going to collapse, but my unyielding hope of catching Leo, of finally seeing my brother again kept my legs pumping. I finally reached the building, turning the corner sharply, ready to continue the chase. But Leo was gone. I skidded to a hault and scanned my eyes over the city, desperately looking for any sign of the brother I had been pursuing. Nothing.

Rage filled me. I removed my sai from my belt and in a flash had slammed it into the wall next to me, letting my head meet the brick along side it. I closed my eyes and took deep breaths. What had I seen? Could it have really been Leo? Asking myself that question filled me with certainty. It had to have been Leo. I opened my eyes with a new determination. I pulled my sai from the mortar and sheathed it back in my belt. It was time to go home, and tomorrow night, I would find Leo again.

I reached the entrance to our home and opened it vigorously. I couldn't wait to find my brothers and father and tell them what I had seen. I raced into the common room and found it empty. I cursed silently under my breath and took off down the hall. As I passed Don's lab I heard a soft snore come from within. I stopped and looked in and saw my brother asleep at his desk, his head resting lightly on his crossed arms. I pushed the door open and rushed in, grabbing Don's shoulder and shaking violently.

"Don." I prodded, my voice just above a whisper. I heard my brother mumble something incoherently, then he turned his head away from me and became still again. I narrowed my eyes and shook him again. "Don, wake up!" I practically shouted now.

My loud voice finally got his attention and his head shot up, a piece of paper was stuck to his moistened cheek. He looked around wildly, trying to find the source of my voice. "What?" He mumbled, then finally laid his eyes on me staring at him. He shook his head, trying to clear the sleep. "What is going on Raph?" he asked. "What time is it?"

"Forget about the damn time!" I shouted back. I grabbed both of Donny's shoulders and turned him so he was looking right into my eyes.

"Raph, are you OK?" he asked, his voice slightly suspicious.

"I'm better than OK!" I shouted. "Don, you won't believe it. I was out tonight in the city, and I saw Leo! I saw Leo, Don!"

Don's breath caught in his throat as he stared at me, letting my words sink in. He suddenly looked very tired as he returned my gaze, finally letting his eyes drop to his lap. "Raph…" he started.

"I know what you are going to say." I said, cutting him off. "But believe me. I saw him, Don. He was alive!"

"Raph, Leo is gone." He said, his voice shaking. "Of course you thought you saw him. Sometimes I even think I see him when I'm walking around the lair. But…"

"I know what I saw!" I said, getting angry. Why didn't Don believe me? "I saw him with my own eyes. He was really there!"

"What's going on?" A tired voice asked from behind me. I turned and saw a bleary eyed Mikey standing in the doorway of Don's lab. I ran over to my youngest brother.

"Mikey, I saw Leo tonight. He's alive!" I said, knowing Mikey would believe me.

He stared at me, his eyes slowly widening as he took in what I had just told him. "Leo?" he asked softly. "He's alive?"

"Yes!" I said, grabbing Mikey's shoulders tightly.

"Raph!" I heard Don yell behind me. I turned and saw him staring at me, his expression pained as he looked back at me. "Stop it!"

"No, I won't stop it." I said. "Leo is alive. I saw him."

"Then why didn't he come back with you?" Don asked in a voice like he was talking to an irrational child. I narrowed my eyes, but for the first time tonight I didn't have a good answer.

"I don't know." I finally said. "We don't know what has happened to him these past six months. I'm sure he had a good reason to run."

Don shook his head and lowered his gaze back to his lap. Frustration was beginning to build within me. Don didn't believe me. I looked to Mikey and could see doubt beginning to cloud over his eyes as he stared back at me. I swallowed hard, but my resolve remained strong. "I know I saw him." I finally said, meeting Mikey's gaze. "He is alive. And tomorrow night I will show you."


	5. Chapter 5

Thank you so much for all of the great reviews! They are much appreciated.

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The next night I lead my brothers to the same rooftop that I had spent the night before. Mikey had been eager to go, but Don had been harder to convince. I practically had to beg him to come. He had been reluctant to allow himself to hope again, but in the end I could see he desperately wanted to believe me, even though he was afraid to, and he had agreed to come. As the three of us stood on the rooftop, none of us spoke. None of us could find a voice as we strained our eyes over the uncharacteristically quiet city.

The night was clear, the only thing clouding the light from the moon was a thin sheen of smog as it hung over the buildings. I sat exactly where I had the night before and kept my eyesight trained to the spot where I had seen Leo appear. An hour past. Then another. I could feel butterflies begin to dance in my stomach as time continued to pass with no sign of our oldest brother. I saw Mikey begin to pace as his nerves began to build. Don still remained still, although I could see in his eyes that any hope I had instilled in him about Leo being alive was fading away fast. I turned my gaze forward again and swallowed hard, beginning to pray that Leo would make another appearance.

Three in the morning came, and with it the lingering doubt that was beginning to grow in my mind. Had I really seen Leo? I shook my head and returned my gaze forward.

"Raph." I heard Don speak. I shook my head again.

"He's gonna come." I said, refusing to turn around and meet my brother's eyes.

"Raph. I can't do this." Don said, his voice soft and timid. "It was hard enough grieving for Leo before. Hell, I still am. I can't…" His voice trailed off as it hitched. I felt a lump forming in my throat, but I couldn't give up.

"I saw him." I said again, but with less conviction than before.

Don just shook his head. "I'm going home." He said sadly, wiping at the corners of his eyes.

I closed my eyes and lowered my head into my hands, but I said nothing to stop him. I felt him grip the top of my shell but I couldn't raise my eyes to meet his, or I would lose any composure that I still had.

"Guys." I heard Mikey whisper. I ignored him and kept my head pressed firmly in my hands. I felt Don's hand tighten on my shell.

"Leo…" I heard Don whisper in disbelief. I snapped my head up and looked forward. There he was, standing in almost the same spot that I had seen him before. With the moonlight shining brightly I could see his whole form. His face was hard, his expression cold. I didn't dare to move. I drank in the sight of him, and was afraid that if I moved so much as a muscle he would disappear.

"Leo!" Mikey suddenly shouted. I flinched. I watched as every muscle in Leo's body tensed, and he darted away, quick as lightening.

I jumped forward, unwilling to lose Leo again. I took chase, running after him as fast as I could. I could hear the heavy footsteps of my brothers as they followed me, all of us desperate not to lose him. I ran harder, my body energized with a new hope. I was closing the distance between us. I heard Mikey call his name out again, but I kept my eyes trained on him. He had two swords again, the hilts wrapped in a dark fabric. He had a new bandana, but now that I was closer I could see that it was not blue, but a dark black.

Suddenly he veered to the left behind a tall building. My breath hitched as I lost sight of him and I pumped my legs harder, praying that this time I would turn the corner and I would see him. But as I rounded the bend, the area was empty. Leo was gone again. I stopped, gulping in cool night air. I heard Don and Mikey come to a stop behind me, both of them out of breath.

"Where?" I heard Don ask, but I couldn't answer. Leo had evaded me again. But this time Mikey and Don had seen him. This time they saw with their own eyes that he was alive. And this time I could believe without a shadow of a doubt that Leo was still alive. I felt Mikey wrap an arm around me and Don put a hand on my shoulder.

"Raph, that was Leo." Don said simply, his voice full of disbelief. I did nothing but nod my head, still attempting to catch my breath. Don paused, then squeezed my shoulder tightly. "I'm sorry I didn't believe you." He said sadly.

I turned to him and met his gaze. "It's OK." I said. "I understand why."

"But why did he run from us?" Mikey asked, his voice small and confused.

Both Don and I turned to him. "I don't know, Mike." I answered. "But we are going to keep looking for him, and next time we are going to talk to him." I said with determination. Don nodded next to me, and Mikey smiled.

The next few nights we returned to the same rooftop hoping to once again spot our big brother. We went back at the same time every night, even repeated the same events, the same actions every time. It was almost as if we were performing a ritual, and if one event strayed from the way it happened the other night, Leo wouldn't come, and we desperately wanted Leo to come.

Four nights passed with no sign of Leo. I couldn't figure it out. After six months of nothing, suddenly Leo appears, twice in a row in the same spot, and now he seemed to be gone again. I couldn't face that. It was killing all of us. To think for so long that your beloved brother was dead and never coming back, then to see him again, alive and in one piece, and now he wasn't appearing anymore. It made the last two nights seem like a sick dream, taunting us with the thought of having him back.

But we couldn't stop trying. Each night at the same time we gathered up our weapons and headed out as a trio to the same rooftop in hopes that he would come back. Tonight, I looked up at the sky and watched the thick clouds roll by. I twirled my sai in my hand absentmindedly and leaned against the edge of the roof. Mikey had once again began to pace. Donny had once again gained that disappointed look in his eye. I sighed. Where are you Leo?

As if answering my silent question, he suddenly appeared again, like a ghost materializing out of the drifting grey clouds. I almost didn't dare to believe it. After so many nights of waiting with no results, here he was standing in front of us again. I leaned over and grabbed Mikey's arm, stilling his pacing, and pointed over to the rooftop. I felt his muscles tense under my hand, but I held my finger to my mouth, quelling his need to shout Leo's name. I heard Don come up beside me. Leo stood still in front of us, his black bandana tails dancing in the breeze. It seemed that he hadn't noticed us yet.

We watched as he moved fluidly across the roof, his eyes darting back and forth, almost as if he was looking for something. Then the weirdest thing of all happened. A few Foot ninja materialized out of the night. All of my muscles tensed and I quickly grabbed for my sais. I didn't know what they were going to do, but if they had any thoughts of attacking Leo, they would regret it. We watched silently as they approached him, surrounding him. I felt Don grab my shoulder. I turned and met his worried gaze, and our thoughts met. We had to act and protect Leo.

I gave a nod showing that I agreed with his thoughts, and as one the three of us leapt forward in attack. I watched the three Foot and Leo jerk their heads up in surprise, but I didn't have time to meet Leo's eyes. I engaged the first Foot ninja I came to, my sais clashing loudly with his sword. I heard Don and Mikey meet the other two ninja. I moved my sais quickly, entrapping the Foot's sword within the prongs, twisting the weapon from his grasp. He lashed out at me with his foot, kicking me roughly in my plastron. I grunted as I felt the contact, but recovered quickly and threw a strong punch at his face, knocking the ninja backward and unconscious to the ground. I caught my breath quickly and turned to see how Don and Mikey had faired. Both stood over their unconscious ninja attackers. I breathed a sigh of relief, then realized Leo had disappeared.

My heart sped in my chest, but it didn't take me long to locate him fleeing away directly in front of us. The three of us once again took chase, but this time, we weren't going to repeat the events of before.

"Donny, go to the right. Mikey, to the left. I'll stay on his tail." I huffed out as I ran. I saw Don and Mikey move in their directions out of the corner of my eye, but I kept my gaze centered on Leo. He turned sharply once again and I swore in frustration, but continued to chase. But this time, as I rounded the bend, he was still there. Donny and Mikey were closing in on his sides, and I was behind him. The plan to cut him off before he disappeared had worked. He backed away from Don and Mike as they approached him, slowly moving his way closer to me. I could see every muscle tight, his head was darting back and forth, watching Mike and Don intently. He almost seemed…scared?

"Leo." I said softly, hoping to calm him in some way. In one fluid motion his weapons were drawn and he spun around to face me, and my breath caught in my throat. Who faced me, and stared me down on this rooftop was not my brother. It was Leo on the outside, his body, his face. But the eyes that bore down at me did not belong to my strong, compassionate older brother. They were cold, hard, narrowed, and showed no recognition. As I stared back at the menacing eyes meeting mine, I felt frightened. The black bandana that surrounded his eyes made them look hollow, almost black themselves. I swallowed hard.

"Leo?" I said again, with less conviction, hoping that my voice would bring some sign that he recognized me. His mouth drew into an angry line, his teeth slightly bared. His eyes narrowed and he brought his swords together, and in one single movement, he attacked.

I jumped backward quickly, raising my sais to block the blow of his swords. They landed against my weapons, but did not remain still. Leo quickly countered my attack and turned, bringing his swords at me again. I scrambled backward in surprise, once again raising my weapons to block his angry blows. It was all I could do to keep his blades from piercing me.

"Leo, what are you doing?" I managed to push out as I trapped his swords within my sais, holding them steady. I got no response. When I met his gaze, which was now staring right back at me through our crossed weapons, I could see his eyes, the eyes that once held so much compassion and love, looking back at me with nothing but hatred and fear. I faultered under this unfamiliar stare, falling backward under his strength. I could do nothing but watch as he moved forward to strike again. But before he could move, his attack was blocked by a swinging bo staff. Leo turned away from me and met his new attacker. I scrambled back to my feet to see Leo squaring off with Donny and Mikey, his swords crossed and ready to attack again. I heard Mikey plead sadly with him, but there was no response from our older brother.

I watched as his muscles tensed, and he prepared to strike again, this time aiming for Donny. I readied myself for the attack when a sharp whistle rang through the night. Leo's hate filled gaze faultered and in a flash he lowered his weapons, and before we could stop him he leapt into the air over our heads and took off. Mikey made to chase after him, but I held out my hand to stop him. I stood still and watched sadly as Leo ran, putting more and more distance between us.

"Why did he attack us?" Mikey asked, unable to mask the hurt in his voice.

I shook my head in confusion, watching Leo until he disappeared from my sight. "What did they do to you, Leo?" I whispered.

The trek back home was somber. Not a word was said as we made our way home. None of us knew what to say. We hadn't known what to expect when we encountered Leo tonight, but it was definitely not that. I couldn't forget the hatred in his eyes when he had looked at me. There was no recognition in his gaze. He was changed, and I wanted to know why.

We reached the lair, all of us tiredly making our way to the common room. I sat heavily within the cushions of the couch and rubbed my eyes roughly with my palms. I felt the couch sink as Mikey sat next to me. I finally lifted my gaze and brought it to meet my brothers'.

"What happened to him?" Mikey finally asked, breaking the silence.

"I dunno, Mikey." I answered. "They did somethin to him."

"It was almost like he was brainwashed." Don said, shaking his head. "I…I don't know how we are going to get through to him if he fights us off."

"Then we are going to have to come up with a way that we can talk to him." I answered.

Donny nodded in agreement. I could already see the gears turning in his head. We were going to go after Leo again, and next time we would have a plan. We were determined to get him back.


	6. Chapter 6

I took a deep breath and strained my eyes through the smog, locking my gaze on the rooftop in front of me. The night was darker than normal. Not one star was visible in the sky. The moon was just a sliver of light peaking out behind thick, rolling clouds. I could hear Mikey pacing back and forth behind me, his restless energy and bound up nerves not allowing him any rest. The only apparent change in this nightly ritual was Donny. No longer were his eyes filled with doubt or disappointment. His stance was confident, his eyes glistening with anticipation. It had been six months since Donny's eyes had shown anything but sadness and I smiled at this new change in my brother.

The three of us had stayed up all last night coming up with a plan to subdue Leo and get him back to the lair where we could get answers. The plan we had decided on was rough at best. To be honest, I still didn't like it. But without knowing the true extent of Leo's condition, or what he was capable of, it was the only plan that was safe for everyone. I swallowed hard and took another deep breath, and another. I didn't know how Donny could stay so calm when right now I was itching to start pacing up and down the roof with Mikey. My nerves were wound tight. I couldn't help but think of every way that this plan could go wrong.

My thoughts were interrupted when Donny placed a hand on my shoulder and pointed in front of us. My breath caught in my throat as I looked forward. Leo had appeared again on the same building as before. My heart sped in my chest and I fought every urge to rush toward him. I am a turtle that wants to take action, to get things done, and I knew that this part of the plan would be the absolute hardest for me to follow through on. We had decided to watch and wait. I smirked slightly when the irony of the situation struck me. Here we were using Leo's mantra for battle strategy on Leo himself.

Mikey stopped pacing when he realized Leo had appeared. He came and knelt next to me, staying uncharacteristically silent. We watched as Leo moved stiffly across the roof he was on, his gaze darting wearily back and forth. It didn't take me long to realized that he was looking for us. I almost jumped forward at my revelation, wanting to show myself and relieve Leo of his search. But it struck me that Leo was probably not looking for us for comfort, he was looking for the three crazy turtles that had chased and attacked him. I felt a lead weight drop in my stomach, but I refused to be brought down. Tonight it was all going to change.

Leo continued to search the roof in front of us nervously. There was something about his mannerisms that was so Leo, and something that was completely strange. The way that he moved across the roof under the eerie moonlight reminded me of watching a horror movie. Like something had possessed Leo's body and was now using it to get around the city. I shook my head. Focus Raph. Now was not the time to let my imagination run away.

Suddenly Leo's posture straightened and I watched as he turned away from us. Foot ninja melted out of the night, surrounding our brother. I once again grabbed for my sai, finding it hard to sit and watch as Leo was surrounded by our enemies. I felt Don grab my hand and still my movement toward my weapons. His gaze was hard as he stared at me. Watch and wait. It had struck Don that the chances of Leo appearing over and over again on the same rooftop were slim to nill unless there was something he and his captors were up to. He had thought it best to wait and see what Leo was doing on that building. Maybe then we could find a better way to get to him. I had agreed with the idea at the time, but now I was finding it hard to follow through on the first part of Don's plan. Finally, I lowered my hand away from my sai and returned my gaze forward, all the while keeping my muscles poised for immediate action.

The Foot ninja moved closer to Leo silently, almost cautiously. They almost appeared afraid of him. And they should be, I thought to myself. After coming closer, one of them approached our brother and faced him. It appeared that he was talking to Leo. My eyes narrowed. What was going on? The Foot didn't seem to mean Leo any harm, at least not at this second. And Leo did not appear alarmed at their presence. Leo did not seem to acknowledge the Foot in front of him, but continued to stare straight ahead. I wondered if he was going to move at all. Then, in a flash, he ran forward and had leapt off the roof and onto the fire escape, scaling it down to the ally. The Foot ninja on the roof melted back into the night.

I looked over to Don and frowned. "What now?" I asked.

"Be patient." Was all he said. I clenched my teeth and glared at him, then turned my gaze forward again, watching as Leo continued to climb down the fire escape. He reached the bottom landing and leapt gracefully into the ally below, landing in a crouched position, his feet not making a sound as they met the pavement. I watched in anticipation as Leo straightened his body and stood.

"What is he doing?" Mikey whispered, looking down at Leo.

I could do nothing but shrug and watch. We waited for Leo to make another move, to give us some idea as to what he was up to, but he did nothing but stand still as a statue, his being mostly covered by the shadows of the surrounding buildings. I began to get nervous. This wasn't what I was expecting. I could tell Don was thinking the same thing as I saw him frown. He rubbed his arm absentmindedly, something he did a lot when he was thinking.

"So. What do we do now, genius?" I asked.

Don sighed. "It looks like he's waiting for something."

I growled softly. This waiting game was getting old. "I think it's time to act." I spoke up. "He isn't doing anything else. He looks calm. Maybe we could try and talk to him."

"And risk having him run again?" Don asked, obviously torn.

"I think we should try." Mikey piped up. "Maybe we can get through to him this time. And if not, we can always stick to the plan."

I nodded vigorously. "We should go down there, Don."

"Alright." Don said reluctantly. "But don't forget about the Foot that were hanging around. We need to be careful."

"No problem." I said casually.

I stood and made my way over the roof edge and down the side of the building quietly. I didn't want to startle Leo like we had the past couple of nights. A few pieces of rubble from the side of the building crumbled under my weight and clattered softly to the ground, and I froze, watching to see Leo's reaction to the sudden noise. If he had heard the stones falling to the ground, he didn't show it. He remained still and stoic. I huffed a sigh of relief, then continued my way more carefully down to the ground.

My feet landed softly, and I stood for a moment in the shadows of the ally, watching Leo intently. He still hadn't budged, the only movement coming from the rise and fall of his chest as he stood, staring down the ally. I looked behind me and saw Don and Mikey land next to me in the shadows. I motioned for them to stay hidden, at least for the time being. I didn't know how this would turn out and I didn't want Mikey and Don in any danger, and I didn't want Leo to feel frightened. I took a deep breath trying to calm my nerves, then slowly stepped out into the light.

"Leo?" I said softly. His muscles tensed at my words, but he didn't move. I took a deep breath. "Leo, it's me." I started again. His eyes looked forward, darkened by the black outline of the bandana he wore. "It's Raph." No acknowledgement, no movement.

I chanced another step forward, slowly approaching my older brother like I was trying to approach a timid animal. I was now within arms reach of my brother with still no acknowledgement. "Leo." I tried again. Nothing. I shook my head. "Leo, can you at least look at me?" I asked desperately. He remained still.

I looked back at my brothers who were still in the shadows. Don shook his head at me in confusion. Mikey gave me a quick thumbs up, urging me on. I took another deep breath. "Leo," I said, my voice shaking with frustration and sadness. "What did they do to you, bro?" I swallowed thickly. I was so close to him. If I stretched my hand forward I could probably touch him. To be able to touch my brother for the first time in months, to know he was real, my heart quickened at the thought. I slowly reached my hand forward, my fingers approaching his arm. I held my breath and continued to move my hand further, waiting for a reaction. I got nothing. I stretched my fingers further toward him, desperately wanting to touch him, to reassure myself that he was really there, standing in front of me, changed, but alive. My fingers were within inches of his skin.

In a flash he moved toward me, grabbing my wrist roughly within his grasp, stopping its progress. I gasped out loud in shock as his hand wrapped around me painfully and when I looked up, my eyes met his dark, piercing gaze as it bore into me. I froze under his unfamiliar stare, unable to act. Suddenly he threw me backward and I found myself falling to the ground. I heard him pull out his swords and I turned quickly, kicking out at him to block his attack. He fell backward in surprise. I had just enough time to pull out my sais and raise them before he came at me again. My sais locked onto his swords and I held him at bay with all of my strength as he bore down at me, his face full of malice.

"Leo, no!" I heard Mikey yell. He turned his gaze toward the direction of Mikey's voice. I took the small moment of distraction to push Leo backward and gain my footing, falling automatically into a defensive posture. He came at me again and I blocked his attack, the sound of metal ringing through the ally.

"Leo!" I shouted, pushing him away and readying myself to block again. "Leo stop, it's me!" He came at me again, his swords raised. I couldn't bring myself to attack Leo back, so I attempted to stave him off by blocking his blows one by one. His attacks the night before had been ones of a frightened animal, desperate to ward off its attackers so it could flee. But tonight he no longer appeared frightened. He was fighting to win. I met his swords with my sais once again, holding off his strong attack, panting with exertion. He showed no fatigue at all. I was beginning to wonder how much longer I would be able to stave off his attacks. My muscles began to shake under the pressure of his swords and I let out a small grunt of exertion, my body tiring.

A whistle sounded loudly, echoing off the buildings of the ally. As if answering the call, Leo immediately stopped his attack and backed away from me, his swords still raised defensively, his eyes still shadowed. I lowered my weapons and narrowed my eyes in confusion, panting heavily. What was going on?

A dark, solid figure materialized out of the shadows. He wore a dark black, long trench coat. His deadly eyes hidden away behind dark shades that reflected moonlight. He approached Leo from behind, stepping into the light and coming up beside him casually. I felt rage begin to boil within me at the sight of him. I clenched my teeth painfully, my eyes narrowed to slits.

"Bishop" I spit out, like it was a curse. He smiled at me. "What did you do to him? What did you do to Leo?"

"You don't like the new Leonardo?" He asked innocently. His voice sent a chill down my spine. "I find him much more useful this way. Much less of a problem. I would have thought you would like him, Raphael. There is much more fight in him now."

I growled in anger at his words. I turned my head to look at Leo. He dropped his swords to his sides and his stare became blank as Bishop spoke. It was obvious now that he had him under some control. Now that Leo was still and illuminated by the ally street lights, I noticed numerous scars that littered his body. Some wounds looked old, others looked recent. Bishop seemed to notice what I was looking at. He smiled and ran his finger lightly down one of the larger scars that ran down Leo's arm. Leo stiffened at his touch.

"It took a lot of work to get him like this." He said slyly. "There was a lot of convincing." He looked back at me and smirked. "But I think the finished product speaks for itself."

I began to shake with rage. I couldn't begin to imagine the pain and torture they had put Leo through the past six months, and now he was acknowledging it like it meant nothing. I gripped my sais painfully in my hands. "Mark my words, Bishop." I spat, piercing him with my stare. "You will pay. You and the Foot will pay for what you did to Leo and for what you did to my family. I promise you."

The smirk fell from his face and he scowled at me. "So confident in yourself, Raphael." He said. "But let's see how confident you are when you fight for your life against a beloved brother." I watched as a smile reappeared on his face. He placed a hand lightly on Leo's arm. Leo flinched away from him. "Kill him." He spoke.

I swallowed hard, my heart racing in my chest at Bishop's command. I turned my gaze to Leo and raised my sais, ready to block any oncoming attacks, uncertain what my brother would do. Leo lifted his swords, and hesitated. He stood still, staring at me through his crossed swords. Something familiar flashed in his eyes. He almost seemed torn. I was beginning to think that he may not attack me, but suddenly he leapt toward me, striking out at me with his swords. I jumped away from his attack and twirled to the right, immediately thrusting my sai forward to catch his next attack. His sword met my sai with a loud clang and he struck out at me with his foot. I dodged his kick and thrust my weight forward, knocking him back. He stumbled backward, but quickly regained his balance and came at me again.

"Don." I yelled. "Now!"

I flipped backward out of the way, dodging his blade. He struck with his other blade and I slipped to the side, raising my sai and pulling his sword from his grip. I waited for Don to act, to carry out the plan, but nothing happened. Leo came at me again.

"Leo, stop!" I tried to reason in between pants. He struck out at me with his other weapon. I blocked the attack and raised my leg to kick him back. He grabbed my ankle with his free hand and twisted, causing me to fall roughly to the ground, losing my sais. I turned quickly, grabbing for my weapons, but Leo was on top of me in a flash, his blade at my neck. I froze, feeling the steel nip into my skin. My eyes looked up and met his fierce stare, his mouth was drawn in a grimace as he held the blade against me. My heart broke as I looked into his cold, pained eyes. Eyes that used to be more familiar than my own.

"Leo?" I tried softly. The blade bit deeper. "Leo, please." I choked out from under his steel. His grip tightened on his blade and his teeth clenched tighter, almost as if he was fighting an inner battle with himself.

"Kill him!" I heard Bishop shout from somewhere nearby. I didn't move, I didn't dare. Leo's muscles began to shake. Something flashed in his eyes. "Leo?" I tried again softly. I saw him swallow hard. Then his eyes softened, and I watched with relief as a single tear tracked its way down his cheek. I took a deep breath and smiled. "Hey, bro." I said.

A shot went off and I saw Leo flinch as the dart from Don's gun entered his shoulder. "Don, no!" I shouted, not wanting to lose the brother I had seen behind Leo's eyes, but the dart had already entered his skin. Leo backed away from me quickly, lifting his blade from my neck. He eyed me, his eyes glistening and confused, his swords clattering to the ground. He turned from me and I watched as he tried to run, but the sedative was already taking effect. He stumbled.

Bishop began running towards us, anger plastered on his features. I wrenched my gaze from Leo's stumbling form and raised my sais, ready to defend Leo with my life when Mikey leapt from the shadows of the ally and attacked, his eyes narrowed with rage. Bishop clashed with our enraged youngest brother who kicked out at our enemy and knocked him backward with a growl of protectiveness. With Bishop distracted I turned my gaze from them and returned it to Leo. He was still stumbling down the ally, trying to escape. I ran toward him, catching him as he finally fell, gently lowering him to the ground. He looked back up at me with bleary eyes. "Raph?" he asked softly.

"Yeah, Leo. We got you." I answered. His eyes slipped shut and he went limp in my arms.

"Get him!" I heard Bishop yell. I gathered Leo's limp form into my arms and turned to where Don and Mikey were holding Bishop at bay. From all sides Foot ninja began to materialize.

"Don, Mike, we gotta get outta here!" I yelled. Mikey gave a grunt of acknowledgement, and with a burst of strength, knocked Bishop back long enough for he and Don to turn down the ally and run towards me. We took off as fast as we could, needing to find the nearest manhole and get Leo to safety. The Foot ninja followed in pursuit.

"We have to lose them!" I yelled, clutching Leo to me tightly.

"Leave it to me!" Don yelled back. I watched as he reached into his bag and pulled out a small device. While he ran, he pushed a button which caused a small light to begin flashing. He took the device and tossed it over his shoulder. Within seconds an explosion of smoke filled the ally behind us.

"Good one, Don!" I heard Mikey shout.

"Yeah, now let's get outta here!" he yelled back, signaling to a nearby manhole. "We only have a few minutes before the smoke dissipates."

I nodded. We ran to the manhole and Mikey lifted the lid. Don jumped in first. I handed Leo down to his waiting arms, then Mikey and I jumped in, closing the manhole tightly behind us.

I took a long, deep breath when I reached the bottom of the ladder. We did it. We had Leo and we escaped. I ran my hand lightly over my neck where Leo's blade had been laying only moments before and swallowed deeply, my hand trembling. I looked to my side and walked shakily over to Don's side where he knelt, cradling Leo gently in his arms, looking over him quickly.

"Let's get him home." He said. I nodded. That sounded good to me.


	7. Chapter 7

Sorry it took a bit longer to update. Hectic lives making updating hard :-P But here is the next chapter. I hope you enjoy.

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It was four in the morning. I had passed the door to Don's lab countless times as I incessantly paced back and forth down the hallway. The door was slightly ajar, a sliver of light from Don's lamp shining into the otherwise dark hallway. Mikey had been pacing along with me, but had finally stopped and slid to the floor next to the lab door and had since fallen asleep with his head resting on his shoulder, a trail of drool hanging from the corner of his mouth. I stepped over his outstretched legs as I made another pass by the lab door, my hands clenching and unclenching at my sides.

It had been three hours since we had gotten Leo back home. After escaping the ally and getting to the safety of the sewers we had carried Leo's limp form back to the lair. We stopped every few minutes to allow Donny to check his vitals under the heavy sedation that had been used. I was angry that it had come to this, drugging our own brother to high heaven to get him home, especially after he had recognized me. I had seen my brother back in that alley. His eyes had been genuinely Leo when he looked back at me and said my name. It was the first time I had really seen my brother in six months.

Mikey had called Master Splinter after we had started home, and when we opened the door he was there waiting, running up to Leo who was lying in my arms. He had put his paw gently on Leo's forehead and had kissed his brow. Tears tried to form in my eyes as I watched my father silently nuzzle the son he had thought was lost. Don had explained that we needed to get Leo to his lab where he could monitor him and try and figure out what Karai had done to him.

I carried him to the lab and laid him gently on the bed that Don had set up there. Don quickly checked Leo's vitals again, and after being assured that Leo was doing fine, he had pulled out restraints. I threw a fit when I saw him pull out the leather bindings, yelling at him for even thinking about restraining our brother. But Don had fought back and had explained forcefully that we didn't know what to expect from our brother when he woke up. He could be Leo, or he could not be. Don hadn't wanted to take the risk that Leo would wake up and run, and after a lot of convincing, I finally gave in and allowed Don to wrap the leather straps around Leo's wrists and ankles.

Now that Leo was lying in the light of the lab, I could more clearly see the scars that littered his body. There were small ones and large ones, the biggest was on his right upper arm that spanned from the middle down to his elbow. There were lesions that almost looked like burns that had been allowed to heal, like he had been poked multiple times with the end of a cigarette lighter. Deep wounds ran over his wrists and ankles, most likely where he had been bound for the better part of six months. I also noticed how thin he had become. His body still held definition, but his arms and legs were much to thin, his face looking sunken. I remembered how light he had been when I carried him home. Seeing more clearly how he had been treated caused a white hot rage to boil in my blood and I had grabbed the black bandana that still masked his eyes and ripped it from his face with a loud growl. It was therapeutic for me, almost as if I was tearing away some hold that the Foot still had on him. I took the silky piece of black and tossed it roughly into the trashcan. I turned and sat heavily in a chair next to the bed, my head in my hands, a small burden now lifted from my shoulders.

Don had gathered up his medical supplies and began to fix Leo up, bandaging up any injuries that looked fresh. Mikey and I were left to explain to our father what had happened up in the ally. No emotion passed his face as he listened to our story. He only sat next to Leo, holding his bound hand and stroking his forehead soothingly.

After an hour of sitting next to Leo's side, I was unable to stay still any longer. I had gotten up and left the lab. I tried to watch T.V., but couldn't focus on the shows. I fished in the fridge, but didn't have an appetite. Finally I settled for pacing back and forth in front of Don's lab, working out the nerves that had built up and waiting for Leo to finally wake up.

I stopped walking and leaned my shell against the cement wall, slowly sliding down to the floor next to Mikey, letting my head fall to my bent knees. This was not the family reunion I had hoped for. Ever since Leo had disappeared, I had believed that he was still alive, even when the rest of the family had given up hope. Night after night in the city when I was out looking for him, I had imagined what it would be like to finally find him. To get him home where he belonged and bring our family together again. Nowhere in my imagination had I fathomed we would be dragging Leo home, drugged unconscious and binding him to a bed for our and his own safety. I sighed and leaned my head back, laying it against the cool cement and closed my eyes.

"Raph?" I heard my youngest brother speak next to me.

"Yeah, Mike?" I answered. I cracked an eye open and eyed Mikey next to me. He was looking at me, his eyes half lidded. I wondered how long he had been awake.

"Do you think Leo is going to be OK?" he asked softly.

I closed my eyes again and took a deep breath. "Yeah, Mikey." I answered.

We became silent. I heard him shift uncomfortably next to me, his breathing slow but shallow. A half smile crossed my face and I stretched my arms out in front of me, resting them on my knees and yawned.

"You know? I never believed Leo was dead." My little brother said, his voice barely above a whisper. I opened my eyes and turned my head toward him. His face had become serious, his eyes shadowed. I frowned.

"Whaddya mean?" I asked him.

He took a deep breath and looked away from me as if he was ashamed to meet my eyes. "I never believed he was dead." He said, his voice softer than before.

"Then why did ya stop looking?" I asked, my voice flat, almost harsh at Mikey's revelation. Mikey flinched at my question.

"I just…" He stopped, his voice shaking. I watched as he took a deep breath and pushed his palms to his eyes, wiping away a few stray tears. "I just couldn't take the disappointment anymore. You know? Going out there night after night and not finding anything." He swallowed hard. "I should have kept looking. I shouldn't have given up on him." He sniffled loudly and wiped at his eyes again.

I was shocked at Mikey's words. It wasn't often that Mikey allowed himself to be this serious, this candid. These were the sorts of conversations our youngest brother tried to avoid by spouting off a joke or a movie quote to lighten the mood. Mikey had always been an open book, unable to hide his emotions well, but it was rare for him to actually talk about it. Hearing him admit what he was telling me made me feel betrayed. He had given up on our brother. The brother that had been captured and tortured for six months. The brother that I had continued to look for night after night despite my family turning their backs on him. I turned my eyes away from him, unable to look at him any longer. He sniffled loudly again.

"I'm sorry, Raph." He spoke, his voice thick. "I should have been stronger. Thank goodness you were."

I felt a lump form in my throat at his words and my eyes softened. There was no reason to punish Mikey now for what was in the past. It had hurt when they had given up on the search, leaving me to continue on by myself. But we had Leo back now. That was all that mattered. I turned my head back toward my youngest brother and put my arm around his shoulders. He leaned into me and laid his head in the crook of my neck.

"It's OK, Mikey." I told him, trying my best to soothe him. "We have Leo back now. It's going to be hard for everyone to help him recover. You can be strong for him now. I know you can be."

I heard him sniffle loudly and he moved his hand up to wipe his nose. I felt him nod lightly, then he pulled his head from my shoulder and his brown eyes met mine. They were brimmed with tears, but held a determination in them that I had never seen before.

"I will be." He said, his voice no longer shaking. I smiled at him and moved my finger tip to wipe a tear away from his cheek. He managed a crooked smile, then leaned his head back and rested it once again against my shoulder.

"Guys?"

Our heads snapped up synchronously and we both looked over to Don who was peaking his head out of the lab.

"He's waking up."

In a moment we were on our feet and moving to the lab door, our exhaustion forgotten. I strode into the room and immediately made my way to Leo's side. Our father was already there, still holding Leo's hand and softly encouraging him. I looked down at Leo's face and watched as his eyes fluttered in an attempt to open. His fingers moved sluggishly at his sides. His mouth was drawn in a grimace. I moved my hand toward him and laid it softly on his forehead.

"Leo?" I said softly. His head rolled toward me, his eyes still closed. I swallowed hard. "Come on, bro. Wake up."

I watched as he swallowed thickly, and his movements stilled. I looked to Donny with concern, and he shrugged his shoulders, making his way back to Leo's side to check his vitals again.

"Leo?" I repeated again.

Suddenly his eyes shot open. I gasped lightly in surprise and my heart sank when I looked into them. My brother's light brown eyes were once again empty. I swallowed and took a closer look, but I didn't see any sign of the recognition and concern I had seen before back in the alley.

Our father had noticed the absence of Leo as well. I heard him suck in a deep breath and watched as he wrapped his furry hands around Leo's own. "My son." He said lightly.

At the sound of his voice, Leo suddenly jerked his body, his wrists and ankles rubbing roughly on the leather binding that held him down. Splinter jumped back in surprise, but I had seen a reaction like this before. I stayed at his side. He jerked again, fighting desperately at the bonds that held him down. His eyes were still empty, but now held a deep fear within them. He reminded me of a trapped animal as he struggled and fought to get away from us.

I placed my hands on his plastron and used my strength to try and still his wild movements. I watched as Donny quickly did the same, not wanting to see Leo hurt himself any further by struggling against us. It took all my strength to try and hold him in place. For as thin as he was, he still held a great deal of strength.

"Leo!" I pushed out in between breaths, trying to grab at his arms and keep him down. "Leo, it's OK! It's us!"

If he heard me, he didn't show it. His movements became more panicked and he began throwing his head back and forth, making a small noise in the back of his throat that would later give me nightmares.

"We have to get him to stop!" I heard Don yell from beside me. He was throwing his weight on Leo's legs, trying to keep Leo from injuring himself. "I need to get the sedation!"

My heart sank, but looking at Leo's fearful gaze and seeing his wrists begin to bleed, I knew Don was right. I nodded my assent curtly. Donny attempted to move away from Leo's side and I tried to lay more weight on him to still his arms and legs. He gave a particularly rough jolt and almost knocked me from his body. I clenched my teeth and continued to try.

"Donny, hurry up." I managed. My arms were getting tired. I could see the bloody bonds on his wrists loosening from his movement.

Then suddenly Mikey was there. He appeared at Leo's head and placed a gentle hand on his flailing forehead. The other hand he used to cup Leo's far cheek and hold his head steady with a gentle force that only Mikey could use. Leo's eyes flashed with fear at Mikey's appearance, but Mikey didn't give in. He sat in the chair nearby and continued to cradle Leo's head in his hands, lowering his eyes to Leo's level.

"Hey, bro, it's alright." Mikey spoke gently. Over the racket of Leo's struggling body I was sure Leo couldn't hear it but Mikey kept trying. He turned Leo's head carefully until Leo's eyes met his. He stared softly into our brother's frightened gaze, and smiled softly.

"It's OK, Leo." He said again, letting one of his fingers calmly stroke Leo's cheek. "It's OK. I'm here. You're safe."

Leo's movements slowed ever so slightly as Mikey spoke to him. I watched in amazement as Mikey laid his chin on the table, never taking his eyes from Leo's. His thumb rubbed lightly on Leo's brow.

"You're alright." He tried again. "It's me, Mikey. You're home now."

Leo's struggling arms slowed more, his taught muscles beginning to relax as Mikey calmly stroked Leo's face with his fingers.

"You're safe, bro." he continued, his voice even softer than before.

Leo's movements stopped under me and I now lay sprawled over his unmoving plastron, captivated by Mikey's words. Beads of sweat dripped their way down my face and onto Leo's shell, my mouth was dry from exertion, but I couldn't tear my eyes away from them. Leo's bare eyes stared into Mikey's deep brown ones and his face relaxed.

"You're OK." Mikey spoke again. I watched as Leo's mouth formed into a tight line and he blinked a couple of times, a few tears releasing from the corners of his eyes. I held my breath, waiting.

"Mikey?" he whispered, his voice barely heard as he stared back at Mikey's face.

Our youngest brother smiled widely at his words and leaned forward to touch his forehead to Leo's. "Yeah, Leo." He said gently. "Yeah, it's me."

I heard Leo let out a choked sob. I melted away from him and moved myself to stand behind Mikey. There, in his eyes, was our brother again. Leo took a deep shuddering breath and let his eyes close.

"I was lost." He sobbed, his eyes leaking more tears.

"And we found you." Mikey said lightly. "You're home now."

Leo let out another agonized sob and I fell to my knees at his side, needing to be closer to him, to comfort him. Mikey remained at Leo's head, softly murmuring soothing words and continuing to run his fingers lightly over Leo's face.

Donny came up next to me and lowered himself, putting his hands on Leo's arms and rubbing gently, the sedation forgotten as he saw his oldest brother reappear. I saw tears in Donny's eyes as he looked on the form of Leo, letting himself believe it was really him. The three of us sat together, our hands on Leo, listening to Mikey's soothing words until Leo's body stilled beneath our hands and his breathing became more even and deep. He had fallen asleep.

I stood and moved away from my brother's side, my muscles shaking and a feeling of elation running through me at seeing Leo tonight. I looked over to where Mikey sat, his fingers still massaging gently over Leo's temple. I went over to my baby brother and put a strong hand on his shoulder. I had never been more proud of Mikey then I was in that moment.

He turned his head and looked at me, his eyes brimmed with clear tears. He smiled at me, and I returned it.

"Ya did good, Mikey." I said softly. He nodded, then turned his head back to his oldest brother.

"He was so scared." He spoke softly. "He just needed to be reminded that he was safe."

I nodded, swallowed thickly and squeezed his shoulder. Mikey smiled then and I saw redemption in his eyes. I smiled at my little brother, then moved back to Leo's side, taking his hand. I saw Mikey lay his head down on the side of the bed, letting his eyes close. I lowered my head to the bed as well. If I was going to sleep, it may as well be with my brothers. I yawned, suddenly feeling deeply tired. I vaguely heard the soft footsteps of our sensei leaving the room, and Don shuffling around the lab as my mind drifted into sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

Sorry it took a little while for another update. You gotta love being sick :( But anyway...hope you enjoy.

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A flash of light.

The crack of a whip.

Pouring rain. A bolt of lightening.

A streak of red.

Pain, screaming, agony.

Blades reflecting the moonlight, held firmly against a neck. A neck with green skin. A face looking back at me with confusion. Dark brown eyes surrounded by red.

My eyes shot open, my breaths ragged as I struggled with the horrifying images that were flashing through my mind. I tried to sit up quickly and was met with the pain of restraints digging into my raw skin. I gasped and struggled harder as fear began to build within me. My head was hazy, I couldn't think straight. All I knew was that I was bound. I couldn't move. My breaths became quicker, panic began to set in. I couldn't remember anything, my mind flashing short disjointed memories that I couldn't place. I pulled against the bonds again, feeling my wrists scream at the contact.

"Leo, it's alright." I heard a voice say beside me. My name. Someone spoke my name. A voice that was so familiar, so comforting. I stilled my movements and rolled my head to the side trying to blink away the haze that was enveloping my mind. I grimaced as a wave of nausea washed over me and my head spun from the movement.

"Take it easy." The voice said. I closed my eyes and swallowed hard, shutting out the spinning world and trying to regain control over my body. I took a slow, deep breath and cracked my eyes open again, sighing in relief when the world stayed still.

"Leo?" The voice spoke again. It was so soft, so even, and yet held a small tremor of uncertainty. "Leo, can you hear me?" I swallowed thickly again, trying to rid my throat of the burning of bile, and slowly nodded. "Do you know who I am?" He asked next.

I closed my eyes again and a small hint of a smile crossed my face. "Donny." I breathed. I barely recognized my raspy voice as it spoke my beloved brother's name.

At my choked reply Don let out a soft sob and suddenly he was upon me, his arms wrapped around me. I felt the moisture from his unseen tears wet my shoulder as he buried his head in the crook of my neck. I wanted to put my arms around him and comfort him, but I couldn't move, my hands still held tightly to the bed I was laying on.

"We thought you were dead." His shaky voice murmured from my shoulder.

My breath caught at his strangled words. I wanted to know what had happened to him. Why was he so sad? Why did he think I was dead? I couldn't remember anything, all my memories far in the distance of my foggy brain. All I could remember was an overwhelming sense of hopelessness, of agony. I swallowed hard.

"What…" I choked out. I stopped and took a deep breath. My mouth was bone dry, making it difficult to speak. "What happened?"

Don suddenly pulled up and his body moved away from mine in response to my question. His gaze turned abruptly to meet mine and I was startled by his intense gaze. His face held a mixture of confusion and horror as his light brown eyes stared down at me, his eyes still lined with moisture. He sat down heavily in a chair by my bed and laid his hand lightly on my arm.

"You don't remember?" He asked softly.

I closed my eyes and took another rattled breath, trying to keep my composure. I felt sick, the vile taste of bile still in the back of my throat. My head was so foggy. I couldn't think straight. "It's all a haze." I finally said, keeping my eyes hidden beneath my heavy lids. I felt his muscles tense and when I finally gained the courage to open my eyes to look at him he looked away from me, letting his gaze fall to the floor. Don was avoiding me. I knew it was bad.

"You've been gone for months." He said, his voice soft and cracking. I felt Don's hand tighten around my arm. My sluggish mind tried to process the words he said. Gone? A painful feeling overtook me and my mind flashed to the clanging of metal restraints and the sound of a bo staff striking skin. I let my eyes drift shut and suppressed a shudder.

"We tried to get to you in time. But by the time we got there, you were gone. And the blood…" Don continued. I could barely hear him. The shouts of angry soldiers. Struggling against unyielding bonds. The sharp pinch of needles entering skin. My breaths became faster, my foggy mind reeling. The flashes of what I could only figure were memories kept racing through my head. I felt nauseas.

"We looked for you every night." I heard him speak. His voice sounded miles away. The haze surrounding my brain became thicker. I was finding it harder and harder to think. I was becoming dizzy and faint. Names were disappearing, faces were running together as the horrifying nightmares played in my head. The sound of the voice travelled farther and farther away. A red curtain began closing over my eyes and anger began to build within me.

"Leo!" A frantic voice shouted, cutting through the thick red fog. I shook my head trying to rid myself of the haze. "Leo, come back!"

I swallowed hard and my breathing picked up. My head was pounding as I tried desperately to return to the hysterical voice in the distance. As I fought the rolling fog suffocating me, names began to return. The voice was Don. Don was my brother. I was Leo. I was home. The tortured flashes moved farther away as I struggled against my own mind and forced my eyes to open, blinking rapidly to clear the haze away.

I slowly turned my head fighting back the wave of nausea that threatened to overtake me. My eyes met Don's worried face and I tried to force a smile to let him know I was alright. Tears were streaming down his green cheeks, his hands were closed tightly around my shoulders.

"Leo?" He tried. I swallowed thickly and nodded, showing him I could hear him. I didn't know what had just happened or what had threatened to take me over, but I didn't want to think of it. Don was here and I was safe. The pain caused by his words was slowly ebbing away as I felt his hands on my shoulders and his tears fall on my skin.

"Don." I spoke, my words coming out thick, almost slurred. "What…?"

He looked as though he was about to answer, but stopped himself, his eyes once again leaving my own and dropping to the floor.

"You were leaving us again." He said, his voice laced with fear.

I blinked my heavy eye lids again, not removing my gaze from him. "What do you…?

"Don! What's wrong!" I heard a loud, desperate voice yell from across the room. Don's head snapped up and turned and our gaze was dashed along with any hope of me getting answers from him. I turned my eyes toward the voice and saw a frantic Raphael rushing to where I lay, his sais out and his eyes wild. I couldn't help but smile.

"It's alright Raph." I heard Don speak trying to pacify our anxious brother. His mask was uneven, his eyes slightly glassy as his gaze locked on me. I could tell he had been abruptly woken from sleep. When he saw me looking back at him a look of relief crossed his face and he rushed to my side, dropping to his knees.

"Leo." He breathed.

"Hey Raph." I answered softly, my voice still frustratingly weak. "Sorry we woke you."

He snorted loudly and shook his head. "Quit apologizin." He said, his voice trying to sound stern but was too soft and relieved. I almost could have sworn I heard his voice crack with emotion. "I'm just glad to see you awake. How're ya feelin?"

I swallowed and tried to keep my face strong and passive, hiding any aching pain that my body was feeling and any confusion I felt over their words. "I'm fine." I answered, trying to calm him.

He snorted again and I had a nagging feeling that he didn't believe me. His eyes dropped away from mine and locked on my wrists that were still bound to the bed that I lay on. I saw anger enter his eyes.

"Why's he still bound?" He angrily shot at Don who was still lingering behind us.

"He…" Don started, but Raph didn't let him finish.

"This is Leo." Raph said, his gaze boring into our purple clad brother. "Look at his eyes. It's Leo." My eyes narrowed at his words. I opened my mouth to speak, but Raph continued, stopping my words. "I'm untying him." He said.

He began to undo the leather straps, and as he worked, Don quickly came over and worked on the straps binding my ankles, his face drawn into a guilty frown. I gasped audibly as my fingers tingled as blood rushed to the areas. I wiggled each of my fingers, then moved my arms, testing each joint as if I hadn't moved them in months. I sighed and placed my hands firmly on the bed and tried to sit up. My head swam at the movement and my stomach churned. Hands were on me quickly, pushing me back to the bed.

"Easy, bro." I heard Raph speak. "You aren't well yet."

I opened my mouth to protest but no words came out. My head once again met the pillow on the bed and I found that any strength I had earlier was slowly draining away. I felt so tired.

"Relax, Leo." I heard Don speak softly. "You should sleep."

I tried to fight my heavy eyelids. I didn't want to leave my brothers yet, I wanted answers, I wanted to know what had happened to me, but my strength was gone. My eyes closed further and my brother's soft voices faded out and my world once again became dark.

When I awoke again the first thing I noticed was my hands were still unbound. I carefully let my eyes slide open and found myself lying on my side facing the nearby wall. Slowly my hearing began to pick up soft voices talking across the room. I couldn't make out what the voices were saying but for some untold reason I knew they were speaking about me.

My eyes narrowed and I sighed softly, my mouth turning into a frown. They were hiding something from me. The last time I awoke I felt like Don wanted to tell me everything. But something had happened while he was talking, horrifying flashes of memory had paralyzed me, and when I was able to focus my mind back onto him it seemed as though he had decided against telling me anything more. I could tell last time that he was struggling with what he should and shouldn't tell me. He said I had been gone for months, that they all had thought I was dead. I had flashes of horrible memories that I couldn't connect, each time I tried to grasp onto one it flitted away from my mind and back into the blackness. I wanted to know what happened to me, I wanted to know why my own brothers had bound my hands, and I had a nagging suspicion that whatever it was that had happened, whatever my brothers seemed to be afraid of wasn't over yet.

My mind still felt hazy, as if a thick cloud was trying to suffocate my thoughts. Even the sleep I had just awoken from hadn't cleared the feeling away. It almost felt like if I turned my back to it for one second it would roll over my mind and I would be lost. I blinked rapidly several times again to try and clear away the feeling, but no matter what I did the fog remained.

I breathed out roughly in frustration and carefully rolled my body onto my back. My movement must have gained the attention of my whispering family, because the soft talking had stopped and I heard their footsteps rapidly approaching my side. In a moment Don and Mikey were looking down on me, Don with concern and Mikey with a big grin on his face. I couldn't help but smile back at him. I suddenly had a flash of memory of Mikey speaking softly to me when I was frightened, but before I could remember more the memory was gone and I was left with nothing.

"Hey Leo!" Mikey said excitedly, practically bouncing on his feet as he looked at me. "How're ya feeling, bro?"

"I'm alright." I spoke, still unnerved by the scratchiness of my voice.

Mikey moved toward me and enveloped me into a strong hug, pulling me close to him. I was startled by his sudden movement, but found myself comforted by his gesture and let my hands snake around him as well.

"I'm so glad you're home!" He said, squeezing me tighter.

"Yeah, Mikey. Me too." I said, although I was still unclear about all the events that had taken place. Whatever had happened had obviously affected my brothers deeply. Mikey pulled away from me and looked down at me again, his wide grin returning to his face.

"Are you hungry? I could go make you something to eat." Mikey offered. My stomach turned at the thought of food, but I wanted to talk to Don alone and see if I could get more information out of him, so I forced myself to nod and was glad I did when Mikey's face lit up.

"Awesome." He said, standing and starting toward the door. "I'll make you some of my famous chicken soup, and if that sits well then a pizza is definitely in order!"

"No pizza!" Don yelled after him, but Mikey had already left, bounding down the hall to the kitchen.

Don shook his head and laughed softly. "You'll have to excuse him." He said, his eyes light. "He's been really worried about you." I looked toward the door once again to make sure we were alone then took a deep breath. Now was as good of a time as any.

"About that, Don." I started. Don's eyes wandered away from my gaze.

"So how are you feeling?" He spoke. I could tell he was trying to move away from the subject.

"Don…" I tried.

"Do you feel alright? Any light headedness? What about pain?" He asked, his voice becoming more nervous.

"Don, stop." I spoke firmly. He quickly became silent. I gestured for him to sit in the chair near my head and he complied, looking slightly defeated. I reached my hand out to place it lightly on his arm. "Don." I started again. "What happened to me? Why was I bound?"

Don's gaze shifted further downward and a darkness crossed over his eyes. I could tell that he was torn between wanting to tell me everything and not wanting to tell me a thing. I tightened my grip on his arm, hoping to encourage him to talk. I watched him take a visibly deep breath and let it out slowly.

"We don't fully understand it." He finally said. I narrowed my eyes at his cryptic answer. "I'm still trying to put the pieces together but it's been hard."

I looked away and tried to hide my disappointment at his vague answer. I could tell he knew more but he just didn't want to tell me. I decided to try and new angle.

"You said I had been gone for months. How long exactly was I gone?" I asked, trying to catch his gaze with my own. My question seemed to affect him. I watched his shoulders sag ever so slightly.

"Six months." He answered, his voice barely audible.

I looked back at him with disbelief. Six months. I had been gone for six months. I swallowed hard and laid my head back into the pillow letting my eyes stare up at the ceiling. Six months. I strained my memory to try and remember anything, to bring my elusive memories to the surface. The last thing I could drudge up was a fight with Raph in an alleyway. There was nothing special about the fight, just another typical spat between us. After that, I could remember nothing. Had it really been six months since that night?

"Where was I?" I asked faintly, still unable to fully comprehend the amount of time that had passed.

"The Foot." Don said softly.

"The…" I stopped. I was a prisoner of the Foot for six months? Another crack of a whip sounded through my mind. The clang of shackles. Cold. Pain. I swallowed hard, my breaths became faster. I felt like I was suffocating.

"Leo?" Don asked, worry creeping into his tone.

"Bathroom." I managed through rapid breaths. I felt like I was going to be sick.

Don looked at me wearily. "I don't think you should…" He started to speak.

"Please." I begged. I needed to get away. I needed to move. I felt like the room was closing in around me and I needed out.

Don visibly swallowed, but apparently the desperation in my voice swayed his decision. Don quickly stood and put his arm around my shoulders, helping me into a sitting position. My head spun menacingly but I ignored it, desperate to get to my feet. I slid off the bed and caught my weight uncertainly on my weakened legs. They felt like jello and at first I thought I was going to fall, but Don supported me, helping me stand.

"Leo, easy." He tried. "You shouldn't even be standing yet."

I ignored his comment and took a step forward, encouraged that I didn't fall. I took another step, and another. Don followed right next to me, supporting some of my weight and helping me along as I fought my way toward the bathroom. I saw Mikey peering at us from down the hall, pulled away from his cooking by the commotion I must have been making. I didn't care, I kept moving forward, hobbling along down the hall until I finally reached the open door to my sanctuary. I stumbled inside. Don made to follow me but I held up my hand indicating for him to stay out. He froze at my gesture, his face painted with concern. I ignored it. I quickly grabbed the door and slammed it shut behind me, sliding the lock in place.

My drunken legs carried me to the toilet and I fell to my knees in front of it. I began wretching into the toilet, my hands clutching the cold porcelin so hard my knuckles were turning white. My head was spinning faster, the fog that I felt ebbing at the edge of my mind seemed thicker.

I had been a prisoner of the Foot for six months. Six months. What had happened to me? How had I gotten home? Why couldn't I remember? I fell away from the toilet, leaning my back against the wall and letting my head fall back and rest against the cool cement. I had nothing left to throw up. I swallowed hard and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand.

"Leo?" I heard Don speak from behind the locked door. "Leo, are you OK?" I remained silent. I pushed myself up and grabbed onto the toilet for support, lifting myself to my feet. I made my way to the bathroom counter and my eyes met my reflection staring back at me in the mirror. I gasped in horror.

My cheeks were sunken in. My eyes were bloodshot and lined with purple circles. My thinned arms had new scars that littered my biceps and forearms, ones that I never had before. I barely recognized the turtle staring back at me in the horrifying image. My breaths sped up once again as reality hit me.

"Leo?" Voices spoke from behind the door. This one sounded like Raph. "Leo, open the door."

I could barely hear the voices, the fog in my mind becoming thicker, my breaths becoming faster. Six months. I clenched my hands together tightly and ground my teeth together in anger and resentment. They had done this to me.

"Leo! Open the damn door!"

The voices kept speaking, but they were slowly fading away. The thick fog that I had been fighting earlier began to thicken. My thoughts were becoming faded, slower, darker, menacing. The muscles in my arms began to shake. I took my fist and slammed it into the foreign reflection in the mirror, causing the glass to shatter over the floor.

"Leo!"

I heard no more. All I could see was red. I no longer existed.


	9. Chapter 9

Thump. Thump.

The ball loudly bounced off the ceiling and landed in my carefully placed hand as I lay in my hammock. I took the bright red ball and squeezed it tightly in my sweaty palm, then released it again, letting it connect with the ceiling and once again catching it in my outstretched hand. I had lost track of how long I had been participating in this mindless game, but somehow it was helping me relax, it gave me something to do, it gave me something to focus my mind on that didn't involve my oldest brother lying injured and sick down the hall. I closed my hand tightly around the ball once again, my teeth clenching as I felt a familiar feeling of helplessness take over.

I had come to my room after sitting next to Leo's sleeping form for hours. It was a relief seeing him actually sleeping and not in a drug induced coma. He actually got a few good hours of peaceful rest in before what I could only believe were nightmares had started. I had been startled at first when he began mumbling in his sleep, his words were incoherent, but his voice was strained, almost frightened as he warded off unseen enemies. It was breaking my heart seeing him suffering like he was, trapped in his own mind, attacked by unseen villains. I could only imagine the pain he was reliving in those dreams after being in the hands of the Foot.

I had stayed with him through the nightmares, and when he had finally seemed to calm, I became restless and felt a desperate need to move. After being assured by Donny that he would stay with Leo, I moved out into the hallway and made my way to my room where I had made myself comfortable in my hammock intending to sleep, but sleep never came.

Thump. I threw the ball again and watched it fall back into my hand. My mind began to slowly wander to my father. He had not come out of his room for hours now. I knew that Leo's horrified reaction to him had shaken him deeply. Donny had talked to Master Splinter not long after Leo's first awakening and when I asked him about it later he had said Master Splinter was ashamed of how he had acted when his son was so clearly in need and had gone to his room to meditate and to regain his composure before allowing himself to be near Leo again. It had angered me that Master Splinter felt that way. There was no way he could have known that Leo was going to be in that state when he woke up and neither Mikey, Donny, or I had done anything to prepare him. I understood more than anyone about the shock of seeing Leo the way he could become. But for him to lock himself away in his room when Leo really needed him…

Thump. I threw the ball again, harder this time as I felt more tension begin to build inside me. Leo's disappearance had been unbearable for all of us, and Master Splinter had sunk into a deep depression at the thought of his eldest son gone forever. It must have been hard to have their first reunion in six months to turn out the way it did. Hell, it was hard on all of us seeing Leo this way, obviously mistreated and horribly changed.

I held the red ball tightly in my hand and clenched my eyes closed. I really hoped that things would get better and that Leo would be back to his old self soon. Our family had been through enough pain.

My eyes snapped open when I suddenly heard Don's shaky voice filter down the hall and through my cracked doorway, calling Leo's name. At the sound of his yelling, my heart sped in my chest and I was on my feet in an instant, the ball forgotten as I made my way quickly to my door. I pushed my bedroom door open and ran down the hall, desperate to get to my brothers and find out what was wrong.

I found Don standing in front of a closed door and Mikey staring numbly from a few feet down the hall. I came closer to where Don was and as I reached the door I could hear the sound of violent gagging from inside. I looked at Don, my eyes wide. He just stared back, clearly unsure of what to do, his face painted with worry. I knew instantly who was in the bathroom.

"Leo? Leo, open the door." I called loudly. I got no response. I turned swiftly toward Don, my eyes blazing.

"How did he get in there?" I asked, my voice laced with frustration.

Don looked away from me. "I helped him." He answered softly, his face filled with regret.

"What?" I asked in disbelief, my wide eyes looking at Don for an explanation.

"He said he was going to be sick. He begged me. I…" Don's voice trailed off.

"You're supposed to be taking care of him!" I yelled. "How could you let this happen?" Don's face flinched at my words, but I didn't care. I couldn't believe that Don, who normally was a strict and unyielding caregiver, had allowed Leo to lock himself in the bathroom, and now he was sick and alone.

I pounded harder on the door, trying to get Leo to answer me. The gagging had stopped and now there was nothing but frightening silence. Panic began to set in. Leo was in trouble and we couldn't get to him. I pounded painfully on the door again.

"Leo! Open the damn door!" My voice was loud, frantic. I could do nothing to calm it as I desperately tried to get my brother to unlock the door or at least acknowledge our presence. Something was wrong. Something was very wrong with Leo and we couldn't get to him. My hand twisted the knob of the door in desperation and I pushed on it willing the door to open.

"My sons. What is wrong?" Our father asked, emerging from his room at the sound of our frantic yelling. His voice mirrored the concern that all three of us were feeling.

"Leo's in there." Don answered shakily. "He locked himself in."

"Is he alright?" Splinter asked, trying to hide the worry in his voice.

"I don't think so."

The shattering of glass. It struck all of us like a stab to the heart. We all froze, the same expression of horror painted on our faces. I could hear my heart pounding in my ears.

"Leo!" I shouted. Mikey was suddenly at my side, crossing the few feet of space between us in an instant when he heard the sound of the glass. All three of us had our hands on the door. Our eyes met and we knew what we had to do.

"On the count of three." I said. My brothers nodded in response. "One. Two. Three!"

We all threw our shoulders into the door with as much force as we could. The wood splintered under our weight with a loud crack and the three of us fell forward as the door gave way and we all found ourselves on the floor, lying among broken wood and shattered glass. I coughed and pushed myself up from the ground, my eyes immediately seeing a red liquid dripping on the wood in front of me. I swallowed and raised my eyes further and saw two feet standing in front of me. I looked up.

Leo stood in front of me, his blank gaze boring into me and a look of unhindered anger marring his face. A chill went down my spine as I stared back at his empty eyes which were narrowed menacingly in my direction. His hands, clenched at his sides, were cut deeply and seeping red blood. The mirror in the bathroom was shattered. I swallowed thickly and pushed myself farther up.

"Leo?" I said softly.

He kicked out without a word, his foot connecting roughly with the top of my plastron and I flew backward, my back connecting roughly with the cement wall of the hallway. My head was spinning, my right shoulder was throbbing painfully where it had connected with the wall. I slowly pushed myself up trying to recover from the unexpected attack.

"Raphael!" I heard my father yell. I ignored his concerned call and shook my head quickly trying to clear my swimming vision and pushed myself to my feet.

I heard a loud gasp and looked up. Leo had Donny by the neck and was pinning him to the wall. Donny's feet were lifted off the floor, he was struggling against Leo's strong hold, gasping for breath. Mikey was trying desperately to pull Leo off of Don. I could see Don's face beginning to turn red as he gasped for air. "Leo, stop!" Mikey yelled. At Mikey's words, Leo turned his attention and dropped Don to the floor where he hungerly gasped for air. He quickly kicked out at Mikey, knocking him backwards where he fell to the ground.

"What is he doing?" Our father asked, his voice a shocked whisper.

"That isn't Leo, sensei." I tried to explain. I was distracted from talking further as I saw Leo descend onto Mikey who was recovering from the last attack against the far wall. I moved quickly toward them and put my body in between, not allowing Leo to advance any further.

"Leo?" I tried again, hoping to bring our real brother back, to see that flicker of recognition enter his eyes. He kicked out at me and I blocked his blow quickly with my arm. "Leo, stop!" He punched at my face and I grabbed his fist in my hand. He came back at me with his other hand and I quickly blocked his attack again. "Leo, it's me, Raph!" He kicked and his foot landed square in my stomach and I fell backward, the wind knocked out of me.

"Leonardo!" Splinter yelled. "Stop this!" I watched, gasping for air, as Leo turned toward our sensei and his eyes narrowed. His teeth clenched and he stepped menacingly toward our father. Splinter did not back down, though I saw his eyes widen slightly as they met with Leo's cold, emotionless glare. He stood strongly in the hall, supported by his walking stick and staring at Leo without fear.

"This is not you," our sensei said, looking closer at Leo's eyes. Leo didn't seem to react at his words. Master Splinter tried again.

"You are Leonardo." he spoke firmly.

Leo didn't react and took another step toward our master, his muscles tensed in anger.

"You are a leader."

Leo clenched his fists.

"You are a brother."

Leo moved farther forward until he was standing right in front of Master Splinter. His body loomed over our father, but Splinter stood tall and unyielding.

"And you are my son. You can fight this."

Leo stopped. I watched as he seemed to pause, his muscles slightly relaxed, his teeth unclenched. It seemed that our father was getting through to him. I felt Mikey grab my shoulder from where he still lay next to me after Leo's vicious attacks. We both watched and my breathing became easier as I saw Leo's arms drop to his sides. Leo was coming back to us.

Then without warning, Leo kicked out at Master Splinter. I watched in horror as our sensei flew through the air and connected with the solid wall behind him. He fell in a heap on the floor, his walking stick clattering loudly as it hit the ground.

"No!" Mikey screamed. We both were to our feet in an instant. Splinter lay unmoving at Leo's feet. Leo turned sharply after the attack and, seeing that a path had been cleared, bolted wildly for the next room. I was torn between following Leo and going to our injured father. Mikey made that decision for me as he ran to Splinter's side. With one last glance at our limp father, I turned quickly and followed our brother. Leo had made his way to the door of our lair and was trying to get through it. He was like a wild animal trying to escape from a cage.

"Leo, please!" I yelled. "Stop!" He continued to bang on the door, ignoring my words, spreading the blood from his injured hands across the walls of our lair. I didn't know what to do. He wasn't responding to anything we said. He was deeply lost, and nothing we did was pulling him out of it. Finally his desperate hands connected with the lever that opened our door, and it began to slide open. My heart sped and my breaths quickened with panic. We were about to lose track of Leo again.

"No!" I yelled, running after our brother in an attempt to stop him from leaving. Even as I ran I knew I wouldn't get there in time to stop him. I felt hope slipping away as I watched Leo move through the open door. Suddenly a shot went off and a dart went into Leo's upper arm. I stopped short and turned. Don was standing not far behind me, the dart gun held firmly in his hands. He stood stiffly, his face twisted in a tortured frown, the gun held tightly in his hands. A bruise was already forming where Leo had grabbed his neck. I turned my head back toward Leo and saw him stumble as the strong sedative took effect. I couldn't help but sigh in relief as I saw our brother's movements slow.

The fear of Leo leaving now gone, I turned back toward Don and noticed for the first time that he was shaking. I walked over to him and touched my hand to his arm. He jolted visibly and he turned his head slowly toward mine, lowering the gun. Tears were lining the bottom of his eyes.

"It's OK, Don." I said softly. He looked back at me sadly, then dropped the gun loudly to the floor and rushed to Leo's side. Leo had fallen to the ground and was now unmoving, his eyes tightly shut, his breathing ragged. Don knelt next to him and pressed his fingers firmly to Leo's neck and relaxed visibly at feeling a good pulse.

"Get Leo back to the bed." He spoke softly. "Restrain him. I'll go check on Master Splinter."

I nodded quickly. Don stood and walked away. I knelt next to Leo and moved my arms under his still form and lifted him from the ground. I carried him slowly to the bed and laid him gently down trying to suppress the lump in my throat and the tears threatening to fall. I pulled out the leather restraints and began to bind his hands and ankles tightly to the bed. A tear fell and spattered on my hand as I tightened the last strap. I took my hand and put it softly on Leo's forehead.

Don came up behind me and I pulled my gaze from our sleeping brother and turned toward him. He was looking down on Leo sadly, a roll of gauze held lightly in his hand.

"Splinter?" I asked, my voice cracking.

"He's unconscious." Don answered softly. "I think he has a pretty serious concussion, but nothing is broken. I think he'll be alright with time."

I sighed with relief, then shook my head in frustration. "That wasn't Leo." I said, more to myself than to anyone.

Don nodded slowly. "I know." He said. Don knelt next to Leo and unrolled the gauze. He began to wrap the bright white bandages around Leo's injured and bloody hands. His fingers moved gently and expertly as he layered the white material, hiding Leo's blood beneath it. "I have to get to the bottom of what they did to him before someone gets really hurt or we lose him again." He said sadly, finishing the last of the bandages.

I swallowed hard. "We'll figure this out, Donny."

"I hope so." Don said, putting his hand on Leo's. "I really hope so."


	10. Chapter 10

Hours past with no movement from Leo. I split my time passing between the lab where Leo was bound and Splinter's room where he lay recovering. Splinter was still unconscious and had shown no signs of waking up soon. I still couldn't quite believe that Leo had done what he did. I kept reminding myself that Leo wasn't in his right mind, but I still never thought that even in his state that Leo could attack Master Splinter so viciously. As I sat now by Leo's side I couldn't help but wonder if we would ever get our true brother back or if he was really lost.

I turned my head and eyed Don who was bent over his microscope in deep concentration. Don had been working feverishly as he tried to figure out what Bishop had done to Leo to make him this way. He only took breaks to go to Splinter's side and make sure our father was not getting any worse. He had taken samples of Leo's blood and had been analyzing it for hours searching for any hint of what had been done. He had also examined Leo's body for any sign of a device that could explain his actions. So far he had only found a strange residue in Leo's blood, but was unable to find any source that could explain it. I could tell he was getting frustrated at the lack of information, but he refused to give up.

I sighed softly and turned my head back to Leo and gasped audibly when I saw his groggy brown eyes looking back at me. I swallowed hard and looked closer trying to find out if the turtle staring back at me was really Leo.

"Raph?" He said softly, his voice barely audible.

A large grin covered my face and I squeezed Leo's hand in acknowledgement. "Yeah, bro." I answered, my breaths coming easier. "Yeah, it's me."

"What happened?" He questioned. His voice sounded small and lost. Nothing like our normally sure and confident leader.

I took a deep breath, dreading this conversation. Don and I had decided that we needed to tell Leo the full truth when he finally came around. Keeping the full story of his disappearance from him had done no good. Despite that decision I still didn't look forward to telling Leo what had happened. Even though it wasn't his fault, I knew it would kill him. I bit my lip and looked away from Leo's gaze. "What do you remember?" I asked.

Leo's face wrinkled in thought. "Don and I were talking." He said. "I remember being upset..." He trailed off, obviously unsure about anything further.

I nodded. It didn't surprise me. Leo didn't seem to remember anything that happened during his personality changes. I looked up and saw Leo staring at me expectantly. I could see in his eyes that he knew something was wrong, and I'm sure my face gave away even more of the gravity of the problem.

"Leo, there is more to what's been happening to you than we've told ya." I explained. Leo frowned at me but his eyes didn't reflect any surprise. Instead he lowered his gaze, letting his eyes wander across the leather straps confining his movements.

"Why am I bound again?" He asked me. His voice was becoming shaky. I could tell he knew something bad had happened.

"You'd been missin for six months." I began to explain, ignoring Leo's question. I lowered my gaze, unable to meet his fearful eyes as I told him the full truth. "We were all beginning to lose hope, most of us believed you were dead. But then one night I saw you." I ran my finger absentmindedly along the cool sheets of Leo's bed. "It was like seeing you rise from the dead. I yelled to you, needing to be sure you were really real, but ya ran away. I couldn't figure out why. It took a few more sightings to figure out what was goin on."

Leo stared at me intently. I lifted my head and my eyes met his for a short second. I could tell he was nervous, but I had to keep going. He had to know. "They did somethin to ya Leo, while you were captured. Something that makes ya change. I knew when I saw you that night that something about you was different. I didn't realize how bad it was until we cornered ya."

Leo swallowed hard. "What happened?" He asked.

"You…" I stopped, finding it hard to say these words to him. I knew that what I had to tell him next would kill him, and no matter how many times we assured him it wasn't his fault he would carry what I was going to tell him on his shoulders forever. And I wasn't even close to the worst part. I clenched my hand tightly on the sheets. "You attacked us."

"I…I what?" Leo asked, his voice a hushed, horrified whisper.

"It wasn't you." I quickly explained, hoping to take the sting off my words. "You were under some sort of control. Bishop must have been working with the Foot and they found some way to control ya."

"I…" Leo started. His voice trailed off. I saw the pain and disbelief written clearly in his eyes. "I don't even remember." He said softly. Leo swallowed thickly. "Did I hurt you?" He finally whispered.

"No." I answered quickly. "You could've. But you didn't. You couldn't hurt me when Bishop asked ya to. You holdin back gave us enough time to get ya out of there and get ya home."

Leo nodded slowly, letting the words I was telling him sink in. "And…that was the only time?" He asked me softly, though deep down I knew he already knew the answer.

I looked away and continued. "Things were going pretty well since we got ya home. But last night you got really upset." I stopped, letting my words register slowly. I looked up and watched my older brother's face, seeing a hint of realization pass over his features.

"The fog." Leo said softly.

"What?" I asked, looking for clarification. He didn't answer. His eyes were distant. I was about to push the point further, but decided against it. I wanted to explain everything to Leo while I still had the courage. I took a deep breath and continued.

"You rushed to the bathroom." I started again. "You locked yourself in." Leo nodded. I could tell he was remembering. "You wouldn't open the door. We finally knocked the door down to get to ya, and when we did…"

Leo looked away from me, his face filled with shame. I felt horrible for telling him all of this and upsetting him so much. "Leo, it wasn't you." I tried to reassure him. I turned around and saw Don still at his desk, listening to our conversation, his face shadowed, whatever he had been looking at under his microscope was forgotten as he watched our brother's painful reaction. I motioned for Don to come over. Don stood quickly and made his way over to us, realizing Leo would need more support.

"Did I…" He started. He stopped and swallowed hard. I saw his muscles tense and his head suddenly turned toward me. "You're bruised." He said with horror. He looked at Don's neck as he was lowering himself next to Leo's bed. He saw my arms. We could do nothing to hide them. I could hear Leo's breaths get faster. "I hurt you." He whispered.

"Leo…" Don started. Suddenly Leo pulled against his bonds. His eyes began frantically looking around the room as if he just realized that the whole family wasn't here. I turned and looked back to Leo. His eyes were locked to mine and filled with fear.

"Where is Mikey?" He asked frantically. "Where is Master Splinter?"

I felt a lump form in my throat and I looked away from his frightened eyes.

"Raph?" He asked. I closed my eyes.

"Mikey is fine." I said softly. "No more bruised than we are."

Leo rolled his head forward and let his eyes stare blankly at the ceiling. His breaths were fast and panicked. Tears were beginning to form in his eyes.

"And Master Splinter?" He asked, his voice barely audible.

I swallowed hard and lowered my gaze to my lap. "He's unconscious." I whispered.

Leo suddenly moaned loudly as if he was in physical pain. "No." He whispered. "No, I couldn't have…"

"Leo, it wasn't you." Don tried to reassure him, but Leo was beyond listening.

"I…" He choked, his breaths ragged. Tears began to flow freely from his eyes. "Oh, God…" He jerked against his bonds, his body writhing with agony that was anything but physical.

"He's going to be OK." Don tried to explain. Leo let out another choked sob and I felt my heart breaking in my chest. I reached out and grabbed his bandaged hand trying to give him any sort of comfort.

"We're gonna figure this out, Leo." I said. "We're gonna get you back to normal. I promise." Leo didn't answer. He was totally consumed by his guilt and grief. I wanted so badly to take away the pain he was feeling, and even more to go out there and make Bishop pay, but I could do nothing now but stare back at him. I had never felt so helpless.

"Please, leave me alone." He choked out between sobs. Don and I both looked at each other, not wanting to leave him.

"Leo, we're not…" I started.

"Go!" He screamed, "Get away from me! Go!" He melted back into sobs, once again becoming lost in his own grief. Don and I stared sadly at him, both of us speechless. We didn't know what to say to fix what Leo was feeling. Finally I stood, wanting to respect Leo's wishes. Don reluctantly followed and we both walked silently out of the lab and into the hall. I stopped and leaned heavily against the wall, feeling weak. Don leaned next to me and put his hand lightly on my arm. I took a deep breath and lifted my hand to wipe a few stray tears from my eyes. I could still hear Leo's sobbing.

"Let's go check on Master Splinter." I suggested, needing to do something.

Don looked at me and nodded and we made our way to Splinter's room. I walked slowly to our sensei's side and put my hand on his still forehead. He didn't look horribly injured, but I knew concussions never looked as bad as they were. Mikey sat where I had left him earlier, in a chair he had moved to Splinter's bedside. He was sleeping lightly, his head resting on his shoulder. Don came over next to me and began checking Splinter over. I didn't know what Don was looking for, but I had given up long ago on understanding anything that Don did, and yet trusted him fully that he always knew what was best.

Once Don was finished he took a few steps away from Splinter's side and sank to his knees on the floor. I sat down on the floor next to him.

"It's going to be OK." I said, with more confidence than I was feeling. Don didn't answer.

"Guys?" I heard. I looked up and saw Mikey looking down at us from his chair. I tried to force a smile in his direction, but I felt too miserable to even pretend to be OK. Mikey looked at our faces and slid down from his seat on the chair to join us on the floor. He lowered his gaze to his lap. "How's Leo?" He finally asked. Don took a deep breath, but didn't speak.

I frowned. "He's awake." I answered. "We told him everything."

Mikey's eyes widened and he looked up. "Is he OK?"

I took a slow, long breath and let it out slowly. "Would you be?" I asked with more bite than I intended. I saw Mikey flinch at my words but I didn't take them back. I felt too upset and angry to care. Upset that our family had to go through all of this. Angry that Bishop and the Foot had brought all of this pain on our family. I felt so lost. My family was falling apart and I had no idea what to do.

The three of us sat in silence. All of us had no words to say. There was nothing that could be said that would take away any of pain that our family was going through. Suddenly Mikey stood and began to pace back and forth along Splinter's bedside, his hands held tightly behind his back, his restless feet shuffling along the rugged floor.

"I don't get it." He finally spoke, jolting Don and I out of the stupor we had fallen into. We both looked in his direction and watched as he continued to pace. "There is something controlling him, but he hasn't been with the Foot for days. Wouldn't whatever they were using, like, have worn off by now?"

Don sighed. "I would have thought so too, Mike." He answered.

"Then what could be making him still act like this?" Mikey asked, stopping and staring at Don, almost begging for some explanation.

Don shrugged. "I don't know." He said, his voice laced with frustration. "For him to still be feeling the affects of whatever they used there would have to be something continuously infusing whatever method they used into his system."

"Then there must be something attached to him." Mikey continued. "I mean, that's the only way."

"That's what I thought to." Don said, clearly unimpressed by Mikey's thoughts. "The only thing I have found is a possible drug residue in his blood. But in order to still have any form of that drug circulating in his system after all of this time he would have to have something attached to his blood supply." Don sighed in clear frustration. "But I searched him all over, Mike. Every accessible place to a vein or artery on his body and I found nothing. It's something else."

Mikey didn't seem convinced. "What if they have it somewhere that isn't obvious?" he continued, beginning to pace again. "I mean, what have we learned about Bishop over the years? He's a crazy loony tune and what he does is never obvious. You said you found some sort of drug thing in his blood. Something you can't figure out?" Don nodded. "Then there must be something where we can't find it!"

"I've looked everywhere!" Don said again, clearly becoming upset. "I don't know where they would have put a diffuser where I havn't looked. The only way that you can get a drug into the blood without serious complications is through a vein, or…" Suddenly his voice trailed off. I lifted my head at the sudden silence. Mikey had stopped pacing and now both of us stared at Don. His eyes had grown wide, his mouth open in an expression of disbelief.

"The occipital sinus." He said softly to himself. "Of course! Why didn't I think of it before!"

Mike and I stared at him blankly. "Say what?" I asked, although the tone of his voice had planted a seed of hope.

"The occipital sinus." Don repeated again, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Um, Don." Mikey said, staring down at our purple clad brother. "You gotta remember, bro, we no speaky geeky. What's the occipital sinus?"

Don had now stood in one fluid motion and now began to pace back and forth across the room. I could tell that thoughts were flying through his head. His eyes were suddenly bright and excited.

"The occipital sinus," he began, "is a highly venous area right under the top of the carapace in turtles. In other words, it's a blood filled area right under the top of our shells." He pointed to an area at the bottom part of our neck under our back shell. I saw Mikey lift his hand and probe the area, trying to gain an idea about what Don was talking about. Don didn't seem phased and continued on. "In medicine it's an area that is commonly used to draw blood from our less intellectual counterparts, or to inject intravenous medications. It's well hidden, and with Leo always lying on his back I would have never seen it. I never even thought to look there!"

I stared at Don from my spot on the floor, realization finally beginning to dawn on me as I watched him pace back and forth in excitement. "So what are ya tryin to tell us?" I asked, anticipation barely hidden in my voice.

"I think I know where the source of that drug is hidden! I never even thought to look there. I'm so stupid!" Don said, his eyes now reflecting frustration.

"So, we can get Leo back?" Mikey asked, his voice soft and hopeful.

"If the drug is in fact what is controlling Leo and the device is there, then yes!" Don said, bubbling with excitement.

"Then what are we waiting for?" I asked. "Let's go!" I jumped to my feet and the three of us began heading toward the door, eager to find out if Don's idea was really true.

"My sons." A soft, groggy voice spoke. The three of us froze in the doorway and turned simultaneously. Our sensei was staring at us with glassy eyes. He was awake.

"Sensei!" Mikey exclaimed. Mike and Don rushed over to Splinter's side. I hesitated for a short moment, but finally decided that we could give Leo another few minutes before going to him. I went to our father's bedside and knelt down next to him.

"Sensei, how do you feel?" Don asked urgently, his eyes sparkling with happiness at seeing our father finally awake. "Are you dizzy? Are you seeing double? How many fingers…"

"Donatello, my son, please…" Splinter spoke, his eyes closing lightly. Don became silent immediately, his cheeks blushing. We sat quietly for a few seconds, allowing our father to take a few deep breaths. He finally opened his eyes and looked at all three of us, his eyes suddenly filled with concern.

"Where is Leonardo?" He asked. We all looked at each other in confusion. Didn't he remember?

"Sensei," Don started, unsure of how to explain. "Do you remember what happened?"

Splinter looked at us in only a way that a father could causing us all to shrink back slightly at the intensity of his gaze. "Of course I remember." He spoke. "But where is he?"

"He's in the lab." I started.

"Something is very wrong." Our sensei spoke. The three of us looked at each other.

"Master, you have a concussion." Don tried to explain, obviously thinking that our father's paranoid thoughts were a side affect of his head injury.

"Something is wrong with Leonardo." He said, ignoring Don's attempt at an explanation.

We looked at each other again, concern mirrored in all of our gazes. All of us were shocked at how clear Master Splinter seemed to be after a major head injury, and his certainty about Leo gave us all a chill.

"Please, my sons, go check on your brother." He said urgently.

I nodded quickly and jumped to my feet, heading quickly for the door without a word. My heart was beating wildly in my chest, the previous feelings of excitement now replaced with an overwhelming dread. I walked briskly down the hall, my feet padding loudly on the cement floor as I rushed toward the lab. I reached the door and placed my hand on the knob, realizing that the door that I was almost certain I had previously shut was now ajar.

I swallowed hard and pushed the door open. "Leo?" I spoke, unable to hide the growing worry in my voice. "Are you…" I stopped, my mouth left open in mid thought, my body growing numb and my mind reeling with panic.

I was looking at the bed. The bed that was now empty. Leo was gone.


	11. Chapter 11

A chilly wind howled loudly as it blew over the tall, faceless buildings. The night was inky black, even the subtle glow of the street lamps and building lights couldn't penetrate the overwhelming darkness. The clouds were large and thick, rolling quickly over the starless sky, suffocating the moon and stars. A storm was brewing, and it looked as though the sky would erupt into a violent fury at any moment.

I clenched my teeth and pushed myself forward, my feet plodding loudly along the rooftops as I ran away from the nightmare that had become my life. My breaths came in desperate gasps as I attempted to breath around the thick lump that had appeared in my throat. My eyes were dry as the hurried wind bit at them, blowing my tears across my face and across my cheeks as I pushed myself forward, unsure of where I was going or what was going to happen to me.

My life was falling apart right in front of my eyes. I had used to be a loving brother and devoted son. I was a being that lived solely to protect my family and make them happy. But now I was changed. I had attacked them. I had harmed them. I had made them cry and pained them. My brothers were bruised by my hands, my father lay unconscious in his bed from my attacks, all wounds that would eventually fade from their bodies but would remain imprinted on my soul forever. My life was falling apart. I had become the very thing that I strived so strongly to protect them from.

My lungs were screaming as I continued to push my malnourished and debilitated body past what my endurance could handle. My legs burned, my shoulders cried, my head swam, but I kept going. It was the least that I deserved. I had harmed my family. Any harm to myself no longer mattered.

I leapt to the next rooftop, and as my feet connected with the dirty ground my legs collapsed out from under me and I fell roughly to the cold cement, my knees and elbows scraped deeply as they skidded along the dirt and debris. I stayed there, on my hands and knees, desperately gulping air into my hungry lungs. My breaths were shaky as I tried to hold back the sobs that wanted to escape my body. I had hurt my brothers. I had hurt my father.

I clenched my eyes shut in an attempt to shut out the reality of what I had done. I felt a few new tears snake their way down my cheeks, but I didn't have the energy to lift my hand and wipe them away. I took a deep rattled breath, and another, and another. Finally I gained the courage to lift my head and my eyes met the dark rolling clouds above me. There was no moon in sight. I swallowed thickly as I felt the rolling fog that had been surrounding my conscious mind ever since my rescue from the hands of the Foot. The fog was rolling around over my brain, not unlike the clouds suffocating out the moon. A storm could erupt at any moment, bringing with it untimely death and destruction. That is what I had become. An unpredictable and dangerous storm.

I pushed myself into a sitting position and leaned my back against the overhang of the roof, letting my head fall into my folded arms. My wrists and ankles burned and bled from where I had pulled them mercilessly free from the restraints that my brothers had placed over them. The skin over them was raw and red, but I could barely feel it. It hadn't taken long for me to break free. I was weakened from the horrible treatment I had received over the long months, but in my tortured state, my body had found strength I had no idea I still had and I had freed myself, running quickly from the lair where I had caused so much pain and out into the stormy night. I rubbed my eyes on my folded arms as the fog became thicker around my mind and I had to fight violently to keep it from taking me over. I couldn't let it gain control. I couldn't hurt anyone again.

What had the Foot and Bishop done to me? I could remember next to nothing. My last full and conscious thoughts take me back to that insignificant argument with Raph that apparently had been months before. My next full memories were of Don standing over me, holding me, crying. I had been gone for six months. My family had thought I was dead. And for all I knew, I was. I had been taken by the Foot, and now I was changed, no longer the honorable turtle I had been before. Physically I had not died, but my personality had been violated, my soul murdered.

Why was I doing this? What was the fog that I constantly felt surrounding my mind? My memories of the past six months came in blurry, frightening flashes that entered my mind when I wasn't expecting it. So far, from the violent dreams and vivid flashbacks I could deduce that I had been tortured. No big surprise there. I remembered deep hunger, overwhelming exhaustion, sharp pains, menacing voices. But how had they gained control of my mind?

I buried my head deeper into my arms and clenched my eyes tighter, feeling more hot tears as they were released from beneath my eyelids. They had gained control of my mind. I thought I was stronger than that. How had they turned me against my own family? How had they broken me? I may never know, but the reality that they had stung deeply.

A deep roll of thunder off in the distance caused me to raise my eyes and I lifted them back to the sky. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know where to go. I couldn't go home, I wouldn't go home. I would not allow myself to harm my family again, that much was certain. I took a deep breath and lowered my gaze.

A flash of lightning miles away illuminated the night, and the sillouette of a tall, majestic structure entered my vision. My eyes widened as I took in the beautiful wonder in the glow of the sharp bolt of lightening. In a second the structure was gone, swallowed back up by the blackness of the night, but its image remained imprinted in my mind. I swallowed hard and continued to stare in the same direction. The wild fluttering of my heart began to slow and a sort of calm began to descend over me as my tortured mind came to a strong conclusion. It was obvious now what I had to do.

I took another long breath which was a lot less shaky than the previous breaths before it, feeding my hungry lungs with more oxygen. The horrible burning in my legs remained, but I pushed the pain out of my mind and started off towards the magnificent structure that was now the solution to my problems. I became short of breath once again, but it no longer mattered. I pushed myself harder, running faster into the strong, blowing wind. I felt a drop of moisture fall onto my moving shoulder. The storm was coming.

I ran for minutes, leaping from roof to roof, desperate to get where I desired. When I was sure that I could no longer push myself forward, I lifted my gaze and there it was, appearing into my blurred vision like a savior for a tortured soul. I stared at it, its majesty and size stunning, beautiful, and frightening. I took a few steps forward, my lungs still greedily taking in oxygen. My strides were now slow but sure as I approached it. Finally I came to its beginning and looked up, its tallest towers reaching up into the violent, darkened sky. The Brooklyn Bridge. An icon of the city and a simplistic and certain answer to my overwhelming dilemma.

I began to walk down the sidewalk, trying to keep myself hidden within the shadows of the supports and cables. My caution was probably unnecessary. The bridge was almost deserted. Occasionally a car would pass down the pavement, the headlights blinding as it passed by, and I would slink deeper into the shadows to wait for it to pass. I continued my steps toward the middle of the bridge and stopped once I stood in front of the tall cement supports that stretched endlessly into the sky. I took a deep, even breath, then approached the support and began to climb. It was difficult. The cement was cold and slick under my numb fingers. The bandages that Don had wrapped around my hands were hindering my progress and when I came to a good resting point I tore at the white cloth with my teeth, pulling the gauze from my scarred hands and freeing my sore fingers. I waited and allowed my breath to even out, then I started again, ignoring the screaming of my muscles as I pulled myself farther up. Climbing the large, solid structure was a blur as I went higher and higher. I slipped only once, almost overtaken by the blowing wind, but I was able to steady my aching body and continued to climb. Soon I was at the top. I pulled myself over the edge and collapsed onto the top of the support, gasping wildly for breath. A loud crack of thunder echoed in my ears and I jumped despite myself. The storm had moved in quickly.

I pushed myself to my feet and was immediately knocked forward by the roaring wind which seemed much more violent at this height. I pushed myself back to my feet and steadied myself against the wind as it blew against me. I took a deep breath and stepped toward the edge of the tower. When I reached the edge I peered over. I was met with unyielding blackness. Somewhere down below there was the large flowing river the bridge spanned, but I could not see it. The darkness swallowed it whole, much like my soul. Another clap of thunder roared overhead and with it the sky opened up and the storms fury was unleashed. The rain poured from the clouds and pounded against my numbed skin. I closed my eyes and lifted my face to the heavens allowing the rain to wash over me and intermingle with my tears. I took another step forward and felt my foot come to the edge of the tower.

In a moment of weakness, I hesitated. My heart was suddenly overcome by an overwhelming sadness that I would never see my family again. My foot teetered on the edge as I stood still, allowing the rain to wash over me. I pictured Raphael practicing in the dojo, Don hunched over his computer, Mikey at the T.V., Master Splinter sipping a hot cup of tea. A hint of a smile crossed my face as their images filled my mind and my heart swelled with love. But as I imagined everything I loved in my life the fog rolled thicker over my mind. The smile melted from my face and my thoughts became mottled. I saw Mikey and Don with bruises littering their bodies, Splinter lying under heaps of covers with his eyes closed, Raph pinned to the pavement, my swords at his throat. My breaths became choked and my teeth clenched in anger at what I had done. Tears once again began to flow from my eyes and I let out a tortured scream that was swallowed up almost immediately by the wind. Any hesitation that I had felt before was gone. I had to do this. I had to do this to protect them. I had to do this because I loved them.

The thunder roared again, followed by a bright bolt of lightening. I saw my feet standing at the edge of the tower and caught a glimpse of the river below me. Suddenly I was no longer afraid. I took a deep breath and once again raised my face to the sky feeling the rain fall over me, washing away what was left of me. I stood still, the wind almost pushing me over. I held out my hands and began to lean forward.

"Leo, no!" A voice called out, registering in the back recesses of my mind. My forward progress was suddenly haulted as strong arms wrapped around me and pulled me backwards. My eyes opened widely as I fell the wrong way and landed on someone behind me. My breathing was quick as my mind registered what had just happened.

"What the hell are you doin?!" An angry voice yelled. I numbly turned my head and my eyes met narrowed angry brown orbs surrounded by a blood red mask.

"Raph?" I asked in a haze, my brain churning over what had just happened.

"Are you crazy!?" He continued, his voice becoming angrier. I rolled off of him and landed on my hands and knees. He lifted himself to his knees and stared at me. He was shaking, the heavy raindrops rolling over his tremoring muscles. "What the hell were you doing!?" he repeated again.

My eyes narrowed as I realized what he had prevented and anger filled me. "I was doing what I have to do!" I yelled, my voice being carried roughly by the wind.

"What do ya mean?" he said incredulously, his voice loud and shaky. Rain poured over his form, soaking his mask and skin.

I shook my head. "I'm a danger to you! I hurt you! I hurt Donny and Mikey! I tried to kill Master Splinter! I'm a danger! I'm a monster! And I have to protect you!" My words spilled from my mouth along with the tears from my eyes. My voice cracked as guilt and depression overtook me. Raph stared at me through narrowed eyes. His muscles were still tense and trembling, but he now eyed me not with anger, but with sadness and I found myself shrinking under his gaze.

"Leo, you would never hurt us." He spoke, his voice barely audible over the loud crack of thunder.

"I did." I said, my voice breaking. My legs suddenly felt weak as my adrenaline leaked from my body and I was left with overwhelming fatigue. I lowered my eyes and sank to the ground. "And the fog is still there. I could change at any time. And who knows what I could do next. What if I hurt you again? What if I kill one of you? I can't let that happen." My voice was small, fragile. How had I become so weak?

"So you decided to kill yourself?" Raph asked, his voice full of anger and hurt.

I swallowed hard. "It's the only way I can protect you." I said softly.

"That's bull shit!" He said, suddenly rising. His form towered over me and I found myself shrinking under his gaze. "We thought we lost you once and it tore our family apart! Now we have you back, beyond all hope, and Donny thinks he found the answer to what they did to you, and you try and throw yourself off a bridge!?"

My gaze shot up at his words and I felt my heart skip a beat. "Donny what?" I asked, my eyes wide.

Raph stared at me through the curtain of falling rain, his gaze suddenly softening as he looked on my pathetic form. He lowered himself back to his knees and met my eyes with his own and reached his hand out and placed it strongly on my shoulder.

"Donny thinks he knows how to fix you." Raph said. I stared back at him, my body numb in disbelief. My breaths became heavier and I let out a choked sob as relief washed over me. Raph's hand tightened on my shoulder and I found myself falling forward into his arms. He held my trembling form as I cried out of sadness and relief, his strong arms protecting me from the raging storm. I could hear him speaking, but his words of comfort were lost in the rushing wind.

"Raph?!" A frantic voice sounded from behind us. I lifted my head from where it was buried in Raph's plastron and saw Donny climbing over the edge of the tower, followed by Mikey. They looked frightened as they rushed over to us. "Did you find…" Don trailed off as he met my eyes. "Leo!" he said, his voice filled with relief. "Thank goodness!" He and Mikey came towards us and both fell to their knees and before I knew it I was wrapped in the arms of all of my brothers. The brothers I had harmed. The brothers that still loved me.

"Leo, are you OK?" I heard Mikey ask. I nodded weakly and let my head fall back into Raph's plastron, allowing him to once again shelter me from the storm and from my grief.

"What are you doing up here?" Don's voice asked. I felt as Raph shifted towards Don's voice and I could imagine him shooting Don a sharp look because no more words crossed his mouth. I sighed with relief. I couldn't talk about what Raph had just prevented. I didn't want to think of the helpless grief I had felt only moments before. Not now. I nuzzled closer to my brothers and relished their presence which, just a few moments ago, I would never have felt again. We sat together silently for a long while letting the moisture of the storm wash over us. Slowly the rain began to lessen, the thunder and lightening moving farther away. The storm had passed. I closed my moist, reddened eyes and I felt myself drifting away into sleep.

"Hey Leo," Mikey spoke, breaking the long felt silence. My eyes snapped open and I was drawn away from unconsciousness. I turned my eyes toward him. "Don may have found what is causing you to be…you know…not you."

"What is it?" I asked, lifting my gaze to Don, my eyes filled with a reserved hope.

"Hang on." Don spoke, and he moved toward me. I was slightly startled when he grasped the top of my carapace and pushed my head forward. I felt Raph's hand tighten on my arm as Don looked me over. "Ah ha!" he said excitedly. "Leo, hold still."

I kept my body steady as Don's fingers worked their way under my carapace. I gasped out loud as I felt a strong pinch, but as soon as I felt the pain it was gone. I took a deep breath and looked at Don's palm which he was holding outstretched in my direction. There in his hand was a small device, no bigger than a dime. My eyes widened as I took it in.

"That…" I started, pausing to swallow thickly. "That is what has been causing this?" My voice was filled with disbelief as I gazed upon the source of all my pain.

"This has been injecting a drug into your blood at a continuous rate. A drug that I believe is what is influencing who you are." Donny spoke, his voice slow as he explained. "From what you described, the fog you spoke of, the drug was causing that as it worked its way into your brain, influencing your memory, your temper, and other things. I have now removed the source of the drug."

I gazed at the small device, but something still didn't seem right. I looked at Don, my voice becoming shaky once again as I realized what was wrong. "The fog." I said. "It's still there. It's still in me."

"It will be for awhile." Don said quickly, trying to quell my fears. "It will take time for your body to clear the drug from your system. Until then the drug will still be there, though in lessening amounts."

I nodded, my fears lessened slightly at his words. "So…I'll be back to normal?" I asked, barely daring to hope.

Don smiled at me and put his hand on my arm. "With time, yes."

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes as relief washed over me. When I opened my lids I saw the faint rays of the moon begin to peak through the thick clouds as the storm continued to roll past the city and away from us. I smiled as a ray of hope also opened up within me. Already I felt as though I could feel the fog's influence slowly lessening. I pushed myself up and looked at my loving brothers who surrounded me. I swallowed thickly and turned my gaze to Raph. Our eyes met as I tried to convey all the thanks and appreciation that I could through my silent stare. His mouth turned upward and he tightened his arms around me, and I knew that he understood. I took a long, deep breath, once again turning my gaze to the edge of the tower that I had not long ago almost went over. That moment seemed a life time away as I sat in the presence of my loving family. I heard Raph take a long, slow breath, and then he spoke.

"Let's go home."


	12. Chapter 12

The walk back to the lair was long and silent. We trudged along, none of us daring to say a word. My left arm was hung tightly around Raph's stiff shoulders, my right arm around Mikey's. I was so tired. All of my strength was gone after my emotional trek across the city that almost ended in me taking my own life. I didn't regret what I almost had done, because I knew that if events similar to mine played out again, that giving up my own life would protect those that I loved most, I would do it again in an instant. But as I walked back to our underground home, supported physically and emotionally by my beloved siblings, I relished in their presence, not willing to say anything that would break the comfortable silence.

I carefully placed one foot in front of the other as we walked. My steps were small and unsure, my feet occasionally shuffled across the ground as I pushed my weary body closer to home. A couple of times I stumbled, and I would have fallen to the ground if it weren't for my strong brother's support on either side. It was almost as though they could sense my weakness before it even took place. My foot would skid across the concrete and before I had a chance to fall too far forward, their hands were there, steadying my body and keeping me upright, keeping me from falling to the ground where I was sure I would be unable to rise. They kept me moving forward, not allowing me to fall. I smiled softly as I felt their hands on my carapace, an unyielding reminder that they were there. They wouldn't let me fall.

I couldn't help but be slightly embarrassed by my body's lack of strength. I hated showing weakness. I was always the strong one for them and I always tried to be their pillar of strength. Now I could barely even hold my own weight. But as we walked I began to realize that each one of them was also my pillar of strength. Without them I would be lost, and I nearly almost had been. Despite my attacks, despite my fears, and despite my weakness, they stood by me, and no matter how lost I was, they would always be there to lead me home. A few times on the long walk home I could feel the fog try and thicken around my mind. I was exhausted, which made it easier for the drugs that were still in my system to try and take over my brain once again. When I could feel the haze try and settle in I would channel all of the strength that I still had and try and fight it off. A few times I thought that the fog would win, but my perserverance along with the never wavering strength of my brothers helped me fight it off. I would not allow myself to be taken by it again.

I was startled out of my thoughts when I felt the brothers on either side of me stop walking. I lifted my head and realized that we had finally reached home. I swallowed thickly, suddenly overcome by all of the pain I had just recently caused here. Behind that door was the wreckage I had left behind. Even though my brothers didn't blame me, even though they said it wasn't my fault, I couldn't help but be overwhelmed by guilt from all the pain I had caused. I felt a strong hand squeeze my shoulder and I closed my eyes, taking slow even breaths. Even when I didn't speak they knew when I needed them. I had never been more grateful for their presence than I was in that moment.

I opened my eyes and watched as Don moved forward and pulled the series of cleverly concealed pipes that would open our door. The large, heavy door slid open and I saw the lair, still exactly as I had left it. I took a deep breath and the four of us stepped inside. My gaze moved across the large, open living area, the only evidence of my betrayal was an upturned chair that no one had yet righted. The whole room smelled like burnt chicken and charred toast and I was suddenly reminded of Mikey's earlier attempts to cook me something to eat. My stomach turned and I looked away, hiding my shame.

Raph and Mikey began to move forward and I followed, keeping my arms wrapped around their shoulders. My hesitant steps continued forward, and as we rounded the corner I stopped, my eyes widening as I took in the destruction I had caused in the hall. The door to the bathroom was splintered, the mirror shattered. Shards of glass and chunks of wood were scattered about the floor in chaos, streaks of blood mixed in with the broken pieces. My breaths sped up as my guilt and anxiety began to build. I could only hope that all of that blood was my own. My eyes fell downward and my gaze fell to my wounded hands, a sick reminder that all of this had really happened, and that it had happened by my own hands. My brothers maneuvered me forward, careful to steer our feet around the sharp, dangerous shards. As we passed by, my downward gaze caught my reflection in a large piece of the now broken mirror. As I gazed upon the empty shell that I had become a small shiver went down my spine. My eyes couldn't linger on my own image as shame built up within me. I lifted my head back up and continued to move forward, unable to allow myself to linger on that haunted image I had just seen.

The four of us finally reached the lab. Mikey and Raph lead me forward and helped me up on the bed where I laid down. I couldn't help a small sigh of relief as my tired body hit the cool sheets and my weight was finally lifted off of my tired muscles. I heard the sound of something scraping on the floor and my eyes turned and caught Mikey as he pulled a chair over to my side and sat heavily within it. I managed a soft smile in his direction, and he returned it.

Don moved slowly around his lab, gathering a few things together in his arms. I recognized most of items as medical supplies.

"I'm going to go check on Master Splinter." He spoke softly, the first words that had been spoken by any of us in many moments. I swallowed hard and nodded slowly. His gaze softened as he looked at me and he put the items down on his desk and made his way over to my side. "He's going to be alright." Don said to me in his soft and soothing voice. He placed a hand on my forearm and I turned my gaze away, trying to hide my guilt and sadness. I felt Don place a hand on my forehead, then without another word he stood, gathered up the supplies into his arms, and walked out the lab door.

"Leo, don't." I heard the gruff voice of my red banded brother speak. I kept my head turned away, unable to meet his eyes. I heard him step forward and stand next to me. "Stop doing this to yourself. It wasn't you."

I listened to his words, but they didn't help take away the pain I was feeling. It didn't matter to me that mentally I was not aware of what I had done. I had still done it. My own hands had struck down my father and injured my brothers. It was a guilt that I didn't know I would ever be able to live down.

I swallowed thickly, my mouth dry, my eyes wet. "Bind me." I spoke, my voice almost seeming detached from my body.

"What?" I heard Mikey speak in surprise.

"I want to be bound." I repeated gruffly.

"Leo," Raph started, his voice louder, stern. "We're not gonna bind you! You heard what Don said. You're gonna to be back to normal soon!"

I knew this would be hard for them to do, but I would not be swayed. "The fog is still there." I said, trying to keep my voice steady and unwavering. "Until it is completely gone, I want to be bound."

"Leo…" Mikey started.

"I won't hurt you again!" I yelled, my eyes wide, my voice biting. Both of my brothers became silent. I felt my heart pounding in my chest. A lump was forming in my throat and I turned away again. "Please," I continued, my voice becoming soft and shaky, holding none of the strength it had just possessed. "Please, just do it."

Neither of them moved for a few long moments. I knew they were torn. On one hand they knew that technically I was right. I was still a danger. I could turn back into a monster at any moment. But on the other hand they didn't want to bind their own brother. I kept my eyes turned away from their faces and hoped that they would heed my words. I was beginning to worry that they wouldn't go through with it when I finally heard soft steps move to my side. I signed in relief as I felt the hands of one of my brothers move across my wrist as he pulled the worn leather binding over it. Soon both of my hands and feet were fastened to the bed. I could finally breathe better knowing that they would be safe from me.

"Hey, Mikey." Raph suddenly spoke, pulling me away from my thoughts. "Why don't you go help Donny with Master Splinter."

I turned my head at his words. Mikey looked as though he was about to argue, but Raph spoke once again, his voice soft but stern at the same time. "It's OK, Mike." He said. "I'll stay with Leo." Mike closed his mouth and stood from the chair he had sat himself in only moments before. He looked to me and I gave him a soft smile. I knew why Raph was doing this. I could tell the entire way home that something was weighing heavily on his mind. I think Mikey knew it too. He only hesitated for another moment, then finally turned and headed for the door. As he was about to step out, he stopped and turned back.

"I'll be back in a while, Leo, OK?" He said, his voice sounding small. My smile widened slightly at his words.

"OK, Mikey." I said, trying to hide the quiver in my voice.

"Hey, Leo?" He spoke again, his eyes meeting mine from across the room.

"Yeah?"

"I love you." Tears sprung to my eyes and I found my breathing coming a bit thicker as I looked upon my youngest brother. His eyes met mine and I could see that his words were true and sincere. I took a long deep breath.

"I love you too, Mikey." I answered. I watched as he smiled, then nodded to himself and walked a bit more confidently out of the lab door.

I took a few deep breaths trying to regain my composure. I hadn't expected those words to cross the mouths of any of my brothers for a long time after all of the pain I had caused, and when Mikey had spoke them it struck me deeply. I didn't feel like I deserved their love, and yet, I always seemed to have it.

I heard Raph begin to move about the lab. He seemed restless, uncomfortable. I turned my eyes to meet his gaze. He looked up and his eyes met mine. He looked away.

"So, are you comfortable?" he asked suddenly.

"Um, yeah." I lied. Honestly, the binding was very uncomfortable. The leather burned against my already raw wrists. But I wouldn't tell them that. I needed to be bound. I eyed him as he shuffled about the lab. I could tell he wanted to talk about something, and deep down I knew what it was. My heart sped in my chest and I swallowed hard.

"Um, I…" he started. His eyes lifted and met mine again. I knew that Raph always had trouble talking about emotional things. He hated it, always preferring to avoid conversations that made him uncomfortable. It was one thing I never understood about him. Raph could fight brilliantly and blaze into battle with barely a fear or hesitation, but something as seemingly harmless as showing emotions exhausted him, almost frightened him.

I opened my mouth to speak. "So, um, do you want some water?" He interrupted. My mouth closed abruptly at his words. Raph didn't wait for me to answer as he started quickly making his way to the door. He was running away. Running away from me and what he desperately wanted to talk to me about. As much as it frightened me, I didn't want him to leave. I didn't want anything unresolved. I took a deep breath.

"Raph?" I spoke, my voice stronger than I felt. He froze in front of the doorway, his body became rigid, but he stayed. I took another cleansing breath and fought for the courage to ask him what I wanted to ask. "How did you know where to find me?"

He stood still in the doorway, his back facing me. I could see the shoulders in his muscles tense. He remained still and quiet. I wondered if he was going to answer my questions at all. I was about to speak again when his voice suddenly sounded, soft, shaky, but sure.

"I just knew."

My eyes narrowed slightly. I watched as he slowly turned around and faced me. His mouth was turned into a narrow frown, his eyes were distant. I stared at the brother that was always so reserved with his feelings, and watched as one hundred emotions crossed his face.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

I watched as he slowly crossed the room his eyes scanning the floor. He came up to the chair by my bed and sat heavily into it. I waited patiently for him to answer.

"After you made us leave you alone, Don and I went to Master Splinter's room." Raph began. "He told us something was wrong, that we had to check on you." I widened my eyes as Raph mentioned Master Splinter. He was awake. I almost interrupted, to ask more questions about Master Splinter, but decided against it. If I stopped Raph now, we may never have this conversation again. I kept my mouth close and watched as Raph took a deep breath, struggling with emotions that were boiling just below the surface.

"He seemed so sure." Raph continued. "So I ran down to the lab to check on you, and when I got there…" He stopped. He lowered his eyes to his lap where he played with his fingers absentmindedly. "When I saw you were gone, Leo, I was so scared." My eyes widened at his words. It was very unlike Raph to admit he was scared. He closed his eyes. "We lost ya once Leo, and when I saw you were gone, I was sure we lost ya again."

I swallowed hard as guilt filled me again. I saw the deep pain in Raph's eyes, the tension in his muscles. I knew every word he spoke was true. I wanted to reach my hand out to touch him, but I couldn't. My eyes softened. "Raph…" I started.

"The three of us went lookin for you right away." He interrupted. I closed my mouth and allowed him to continue. "We split up and searched for awhile, but we had no idea where to go. Then suddenly, I just knew. I saw the bridge in a bolt of lightening, and I just knew." Raph stopped. I watched as he took a few calming breaths, keeping his eyes firmly away from mine. "I ran toward the bridge and when I got there I saw ya climbing the tower. I pressed the alert on the cells to get Don and Mikey there, then started climbin after ya…"

His voice trailed off. His muscles became tense and his eyes clenched shut. I knew what he had stopped me from doing was haunting him. He didn't understand. I wanted so badly to comfort him. To let him know everything would be OK.

"Raph," I started, keeping my voice soft. "It's OK. I'm here now."

Suddenly his gaze snapped up and his eyes were filled with fire. "Yeah, but you wouldn't have been, would ya?" He asked sharply, accusation in his voice. "Jesus, Leo, how could you try and do that?" I shrank slightly under his intense gaze. I opened my mouth to speak, but stopped as Raph jumped to his feet and began pacing wildly across the floor. "If I wouldn't have gotten there, if I wouldn't have climbed faster, if I hadn't found you, you'd be…"

His voice broke and he stopped pacing. I felt tears materialize in my eyes as I saw his deep pain played out in front of me. I felt horrible for doing this to him. He had seen me at my weakest, and I could tell he was frightened. Frightened over what could have happened.

"Raph, I…I'm sorry." I whispered.

"Yeah, well, sorry isn't good enough." He spat. He walked back over to the bed, his body looming over mine. "Geez, Leo, do you even realize what it would have done to this family if you would have done it." He stopped, his body slackening. "Do you realize what it would have done to me?" He whispered.

I was taken aback by his words and by his raw show of emotion. I felt sick to my stomach that I had caused him so much pain. I had thought that I was doing what was best for the family. I had thought I was keeping them safe. But no matter what I tried to do I continued hurting them. I turned my gaze away, unable to look at his shaking form any longer.

"I thought I was protecting the family." I voiced, my voice weak, unsure. "What I had done to all of you…I just…" I stopped, swallowing thickly. "I just figured it was the only way to protect you from me"

"You didn't think we were going to get you through it?" He asked, his voice filled with a hint of hurt. "We're family, Leo. We can get through anything. And we are goin to get through this. But you almost took away that chance."

I closed my eyes as shamed tears leaked from beneath my lids. I felt like I was drowning in my own grief. No matter what I did, I hurt them. I had just wanted to protect them. I had just wanted to keep them safe.

"I'm sorry, Raph." I choked out, more tears streaming down my face. "I'm sorry."

Raph was suddenly upon me, his arms around my body. His body was shaking, I could hear him sniffling loudly as he tried to fight back his own tears. I stretched my arms, wanting to wrap them around him, but the bindings stopped my movement. I hated that I couldn't comfort him. I couldn't put my arms around him, so instead I allowed him to hug me as long as he needed to ensure himself that I was there.

"Please, don't leave us again." He whispered into my shoulder. I nodded in response. In that moment I would have promised him anything. Finally he pulled away, quickly wiping away a few stray tears from his cheeks. I couldn't help but smile. The two brothers that never cried sitting in a room bawling like babies.

My eyelids suddenly felt heavy, my extreme exhaustion catching up with me. I blinked a few more tears away, then yawned. I didn't want to sleep yet, not until I knew Raph was OK, but I couldn't help it. My body had reached its limit.

Raph must have noticed my struggle to stay awake. "You should get some sleep." He said, his voice sounding much stronger than it had before.

I nodded, my eyelids slipping further shut. My blurred vision saw him move and suddenly I panicked. "Don't leave." I said, my voice sounded small and scared, but I didn't care. I didn't want to be alone.

Raph stopped and smiled. "I'm not goin anywhere." He said, finishing his steps and sitting lightly in the chair.

I sighed in relief. I felt his hand come to rest over mine and in that instant I felt safe. I let a small smile cross my face and slowly drifted off into a deep sleep.


	13. Chapter 13

Hello! Sorry about the rediculously long hiatus...I had a lot of stuff going on, but I never gave up on the story. Hopefully the readers are still out there :) But anyway, I intend on finishing the story. Better late than never! Thanks everyone!_  
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* * *

_Crack._

_All I can feel is pain. I can remember nothing else but the sharp burn of agony. _

_Crack._

_Blood. I can taste it. It fills my mouth with its metallic sting. It takes a moment for me to register that it is my own blood. In my attempt to keep myself from expressing my agony, I had bitten my tongue. _

_Crack._

_I can't hold my head up. My head is swimming. My strength is running out. My wrists scream as they hang from the shackles that hold my body upright despite its weakness. I want it to end. I want the pain to go away._

"_Come on, Leonardo. Why are you still resisting?" A deep voice speaks. The voice that has haunted my life for…My mind draws a blank. How long have I been here?_

"_The pain can end." The voice says. "It will all be a distant memory. All you have to do is give in."_

_I see his shiny black shoes pace back and forth in front of my exhausted, downcast eyes. His shoes are clean as he walks through the blood that decorates the floor. How can his shoes be so clean when his hands are so dirty? I take in a deep, rattling breath._

"_Leonardo." The voice speaks again, his tone slow and calculated, as though he's talking to a petulant child. I keep my eyes downcast, though I don't think I'd be able to raise them if I wanted to._

_I see his shoes turn away from me, and his lowered voice speaks to someone I can't see. "Get more." _

_My heart speeds in my chest at his words. I can't take any more. No more pain. No more needles. No more agony as whatever he puts into me scalds my injured body from within. I watch as the shoes turn back toward me and I know what is coming next. I try and struggle but my weakened movements do nothing to prevent what I know is going to happen. I feel rough hands grab my skin._

"_Now remember," the voice speaks. "This might sting a little."_

_The needle enters my skin and I can't hold back my scream._

My eyes shot open. Sweat rolled down my face as my frantic eyes scanned over my blurry surroundings in a hurried panic. My sight was immediately overwhelmed by bright, burning light. I gasped and my heavy eyes fell shut once again. My lungs burned as I desperately gulped for air as the world spun precariously around me. My wrists stung as they pulled against the restraints holding me down. I could still taste the blood in my mouth and feel the stinging on my skin where I had been beaten. I was trapped, and I was scared.

"Leonardo."

I could hear a soft, echoing voice at the edge of my consciousness. My heart sped as I realized I wasn't alone. But even in my delusional panic, I could recognize that voice. It wasn't deep and menacing. It didn't mean me harm.

"Leonardo, you are alright."

I felt a hand on my arm and my muscles tensed despite themselves. My arm still burned where the needle had entered. I held my teary eyes shut and tried to calm my shaking muscles and uneven breaths. I was safe. No one was going to hurt me. I felt the gentle hand squeeze my tense, trembling muscles. I allowed myself to take a deep breath and soothed by the calm presence beside me my hazy, exhausted mind slowly drifted away back into nothingness.

_I can't breathe. Every time I try to draw in a breath I feel like I am fighting against my own body to bring in the heavy wet air. I know it would be easier for me to breathe if I could just get my body upright, but I can't imagine moving. I don't think I could move if I even wanted to. So instead I settle for lying on the hard, cold floor in a pathetic heap, unable to even lift my head away from the puddle of blood and drool pooling at the side of my face._

"_This is not working."_

"_Just give it time. I will make it work."_

_The voices ebb into my exhausted mind. I feel as though I should recognize them, but I am getting to the point where I can barely recognize myself. I don't know what it is that they have been torturing me with, but with each burning injection I find it harder and harder to remember anything good. Even as I lay here I try and cling to the memories of my brother's faces, but as I try and picture Mikey's smiles, or Raph's smirks, or Donnie's soft eyes the images blur together and slip away, leaving me with nothing._

"_This is not what I had in mind."_

"_I'll admit, his mind is proving harder to penetrate than I had expected. But it will work."_

_I knew that what they were saying was important. I felt as though I should be listening or maybe trying to think of someway to escape, but my mind could not get past the pure exhaustion. I couldn't even remember how long I'd been here, but I was losing hope of ever escaping, of ever seeing my family again._

"_It is not working!" _

"_It will." _

"_He is dying!" The firm, angry voice yelled, her tone filled with a mounting frustration. I swallow hard and crack my eyes open at her words. My blurred vision sees her small feet standing in front of me. How had they gotten so close?_

"_I thought you didn't care about his life, Karai." The deep voice answers. I can see his shiny black shoes enter my vision. _

_I hear her huff her breath. I can almost imagine the malice in her eyes. "This is not how I wanted it." Her voice speaks. "This was not what I intended when we made a deal. You promised me his allegiance and the end of the turtles, not this pathetic torture and suffering. There is no honor in this!"_

"_It will work Karai. I just need more time." The deep voice grated back. _

_I can't bring myself to care what they are saying anymore. I can't even bring myself to care if I take another breath. I let my eyes slowly fall shut once again as my labored breathing continues. _

"_You have a week." The feminine voice huffs, and with that I hear her soft footfalls swiftly walk away. A silent moment passes. A frustrated growl echoes off the walls. I feel a rough hand grab my face and I clench my eyes closed._

"_You will succumb!" He yells. I feel specks of his saliva rain on my face as he looms over me. I keep my eyes clenched close. I feel his hand grab my arm. My heart races. No. Not again. I take a rattled breath and think of my brothers. I think of my father. I think of home. _

_The needle enters my skin and a horrible burning agony overtakes me. Mikey. Donny. Raph. Home…The burning spreads up my arm and crosses through my body. I can't hold back the moan that escapes my throat. Their faces begin to blur. I desperately try to hold on to their images, but they slowly fade away, and suddenly I can remember nothing._

"_You will be mine." The voice whispers menacingly over my ear. I try to recoil away in my agony, but his voice fills my mind. I let out another low moan and a small tear escapes my eye before my world becomes black._

I jerked awake, my eyes wide and wild. _"You will be mine."_ His voice echoed through my head. I gulped hungerly for air, but I couldn't get oxygen. My face felt wet, and I was brought back to the cell, lying in a pathetic puddle. My heart sped again and a writhed against my bonds in a pure panic.

I heard voices yelling around me. I couldn't make out who they were or what they were saying, but they sound just as panicked as I felt. I fought harder against my bonds. I couldn't stop the tears that were streaming down my face. I was disoriented, I was in pain, and I was frighteningly not alone.

"He's having another episode!" A voice screams next to me.

"He shouldn't be! The compound is almost completely gone from his system!"

The drug. They are talking about whatever god forsaken chemical that has been injected into my veins a thousand times. I couldn't let them do it again. I would die before they would touch me again. I felt a hand land on my arm, and I fought harder.

"What are we going to do?" A different voice shakily asked.

"This is not an episode." A calm, softer voice spoke. "Look."

I could feel my muscles shaking and screaming from the activity I was putting them through, but I could not let them hurt me again. I had to get away. I choked on a loud sob and tried again to fight my bonds. They would not let go. I was trapped. I was his.

"Leonardo." The soft, sturdy voice spoke over me. I moaned again and tried to move away from the presence.

"Leonardo, please, you must listen to me." He commanded. The voice was strong, and some deep part of me was soothed by the sound. I started to slow my struggling, I could feel my fatigued muscles burning as they slowly stilled, but I could not stop my quickened breaths and salty tears.

"You must calm down." He told me. I gasped once again for air, and my heart sped as I felt two long fingered hands rest on my cheeks. "Breathe, child." The voice said softly. "Breathe."

I took a deep, shaky breath, and then another. My body listened to him despite the fear that filled me. Something about the presence next to me told me that I was not in danger. For the first time I allowed myself to calm down, and I slowly began to realize that I was not in a cold, damp cell surrounded by enemies. I was in a warm bed, and the figure next to me meant me no harm.

"Good, my son." The voice spoke again. I felt a soft finger trace its way across my cheek, wiping away one of my many tears. I took another deep shuddering breath as I tried to regain myself.

"You're alright. It was just a dream."

My throat burned as I swallowed deeply. My breaths were beginning to come easier, the intense fear from those haunting memories beginning to ebb away.

"Just a dream?" I asked, my voice sounding small and raspy. My mouth was parched. It hurt to speak. But I had to know that what I had just experienced wasn't real. I had to know that what I had felt was over. I had to know that I was safe before I would allow myself to open my eyes.

"Yes." The voice spoke. It sounded so calm and quiet and sure. I took another deep, shaking breath.

"It felt so real." I ran my tongue over my parched lips, expecting to taste blood, but I tasted nothing but the salt from my tears. It had been a dream. It was only a dream. Even as my mind began to comprehend that I was safe I could not stop my muscles from trembling or my heart from racing. I had a deep feeling, a very real feeling, that what I had experienced was more than just a dream.

"You're alright." The voice said again. My reeling mind began to calm and I finally was able to comprehend the soft tones coming from the being next to me. For the first time my frightened being fully registered the soothing voice, my skin could feel the soft stroking of long finger tips over my forehead. I slowly drifted away from the horrific nightmare I had just escaped and my racing mind sluggishly brought me back to what was real and I was finally able to understand where I was, and worse, remember what I had done. My heart clenched.

"Father." I whispered, my voice a mixture of relief and horror. My heart sped in my chest and any courage that I had gained to open my eyes was gone in a flash. I clenched my eyes tighter, my body continuing to tremble, although now for a different reason.

"Yes." He spoke. I swallowed hard and attempted to keep air moving through my burning airways. My eyes hurt as I clenched my lids tightly closed, but I could not bring myself to open them. I felt his fingers slowly trace from my forehead to my cheek and softly begin to stroke the side of my face.

"Leonardo, open your eyes." He softly voiced.

My heart clenched at his request. I couldn't. As much as I wanted to see him, as much as I wanted to look at him and see that he was alright, I could not bring myself to uncover my eyes. I could not allow my jaded gaze to meet his soft black eyes. I was afraid. I didn't know what his eyes would hold for me. Hate? Disappointment? Sadness? I would deserve to see them all after the betrayal I had committed. So like a coward I kept them shut. Shut away from the world that I had turned upside down.

I heard him sigh softly beside me. "So quick to blame yourself." He voiced, his tones filled with a deep melancholy. I swallowed at his words. I knew that he would not blame me. My family was so quick to dismiss the horrendous acts that I had committed. But I wasn't. I couldn't. I couldn't just allow myself to be forgiven for what I had caused, for what I had done. I was a coward, and I couldn't bring myself to face what I had brought upon my father and my family.

"Leonardo, this is not your fault." He spoke to me, his long finger tips still calmly stroking my cheek. "You did not bring this upon yourself."

Maybe I hadn't brought this upon myself. But I had brought this upon them. By my own hands I had caused them pain. If I would have been stronger they would not have been harmed. I didn't know if I could ever forgive myself for that. I didn't know if I could ever trust myself around them again.

"Oh, Leonardo." I heard him sigh. I felt his hand move away from my cheek and my muscles relaxed slightly with relief. But my heart quickened when I felt his hands trace down my arm and land on the leather bindings holding my guilty hands down. I felt his fingers begin to work at the bindings, and my eyes flew open despite themselves.

"No!" I yelled, my voice laced with panic. "Don't undo them!" My wide eyes landed on my father's hands draped over the restraints. I saw his long fingers pause, but they did not leave my wrist.

"What are you afraid of, Leonardo?" He asked. I closed my eyes in shame, but didn't answer. I could list a million things I was afraid of, almost all of them being prevented by the physical bindings keeping me away from my family.

I felt his fingers begin to work at the leather straps again and I felt my heart quicken once again. "Please," I heard myself beg, my voice almost detached from my physical being. "Please don't release me."

His fingers stopped again. I swallowed hard, and I tried desperately to keep my swirling emotions at bay. He had to understand. I could not be trusted.

I heard him sigh softly again. "Leonardo," he spoke softly, "you cannot be bound forever."

I clenched my eyes closed. I knew that eventually I would have to be released onto the world once again in hope that whatever demon had taken me over would be gone forever. But for now I was comfortable keeping myself away from them. I didn't know what I was capable of anymore. I was afraid.

"I don't want to hurt you anymore." I whispered, a lump forming in my throat, strangling the words I was trying to say.

"Leonardo." He spoke. "Look deep inside yourself. Do you feel any different? Do you feel like you?"

I kept my eyes closed and tried to do what I was asked. I tried to feel the influence of the drug, the haze over my mind. But I couldn't feel anything. I couldn't feel the haze, but I couldn't feel myself either. I felt lost.

"I don't know." I said softly, my voice laced with a depressed hopelessness. "I don't know who I am anymore."

I felt my father's hand tighten around my cold numb hand. "I know who you are." He said. "You are my son. No amount of torture or drug will ever change that. You will always be my son. You will always be you."

"But I hurt you." I said flatly, a tear escaping from my eye. "The old Leonardo would have never done that."

"Will you really hold yourself responsible for the wrong doings of others?" Splinter asked. "I cannot imagine the horrible things that were done to you by Bishop's hands, but I know that my son would never hurt his family. What they turned you into, that wasn't you. And you fought it. You fought it with all of your strength. I am so very proud of you, Leonardo."

I swallowed hard at his words. Even after all the pain I had caused he could still say he was proud of me. Despite my fear I felt my hand close around my father's fingers. He squeezed my hand back.

"I thought I had lost you my son." He said, his voice becoming thick. "I thought you were gone forever. Please. Open your eyes and let me see my son again."

His words brought a flood of emotion and I struggled against myself to fight my own tears. I had no idea where I had been or what had happened, or even if I could remember missing my family. But suddenly I missed him as though we had truly been separated for months. I could not deny his tear filled request.

I felt him continue to undo the restraints around my wrists, but this time I did not stop him. I swallowed deeply as I felt the last restraint loosen from my body and took a deep breath. I opened my glistening eyes and my gaze fell to my father's tear streaked face.

"Oh, Leonardo." He murmured as he looked into my eyes. He moved over me and wrapped his thin arms around my frame. I wrapped my freed arms around him and buried my face into his robe and breathed in his sent. Oh, how I had missed him. I had missed all of them so much.

"I'm sorry father." I found myself crying into his shoulder, my grief and guilt surrounding me. "I'm so sorry."

"There is nothing to forgive." He said to me. I vaguely heard footsteps approach where we were, but I didn't care. I wanted to stay comforted in my father's arms forever. I felt his hand stroke my head and his face nuzzle into my shoulder.

After a few moments he pulled away. My gaze fell downward but he placed his hand softly under my chin and lifted my eyes to meet his. "Welcome home, Leonardo." He said. For the first time since I had been returned to my family, I finally felt like I was home. I couldn't feel the suffocating fog around my mind anymore. For the first time I was seeing everything clearly.

I took in a deep breath and wiped away another stray tear from my cheek and lifted my head. Over my father's shoulder I could see my brothers. All three of them standing behind him, out of the way, but still present, always there to support me. I motioned for them to come closer and the three of them swooped upon us, all of them snaking their arms around me, my father, and each other. For the first time in a long time our family was whole again.

"Hey Leo," I heard Mikey voice from somewhere next to me. "Welcome home."

"Thanks, Mike." I answered, trying to keep my emotional voice steady. I buried my face deeper into the pack.

"Leo?" Don's voice hesitantly spoke up. "When you woke up. You were panicked. What was going on? What were you seeing?"

I took a deep breath as the frightening images flashed back through my mind and for the first time the importance of those visions crashed down on me. I swallowed hard and tried to calm my racing heart and my trembling muscles. And I spoke, my voice hollow and haunted.

"Without the drug…I think I'm starting to remember..."


	14. Chapter 14

"No…"

The voice drifted down the hall and fell on my ears, causing me to lift my head from my pillow in a groggy daze. My eyes were half closed, my cheek wet with a strand of drool. I pushed myself up onto my arm, my mind trying to register what had caused me to wake up. The lair was quiet, the only audible sound coming from the soft drip of a faucet down the hall. A yawn escaped, and I slowly laid my head back to my pillow and closed my eyes.

"No!"

My head snapped up, my body now upright, sleep forgotten. I swung my legs over the side of the hammock and let my feet fall to the cold concrete. I rubbed my unmasked eyes, then without wasting another second started for my bedroom door and toward the room of my haunted brother. As I exited my room I saw Don's door open and he stepped from his room, his eyes bleary. I eyed him sleepily.

"Go back to bed. I got 'im." I said, motioning with my hand for Don to turn back to his room. He looked at me, then nodded, yawned, and turned, heading back toward his bed. I ran the back of my hand over my eyes again.

"Please! Stop!"

The desperate voice carried down the corridor causing me to forget my sleepiness and dart down the hall. I came to his door which was standing slightly ajar. Inside I could hear him tossing and turning in his bed, fighting off the memories that had been plaguing him since his rescue. I sighed sadly, then pushed open his door and walked inside, going immediately to the side of his bed.

"Leo." I said softly. I laid my hand gently on his sweat soaked forehead. He didn't appear to hear me.

This had become almost a ritual for our family, waking in the night to Leo's terrified voice. It had been almost five days since Don had found the device, and since that night memories had been plaguing him and not allowing him any peace. The drug was gone. It had only taken a day, maybe two for Leo to be free of the influence of the compound after Don had discovered the device. We all had hoped that the nightmares would go away as the drug left his system, but unfortunately every day that went by, they got worse.

For the past several nights he had woken the family with his terror filled screams. Some nights the sounds he made were filled with a lost, soft, lonely despair that completely shattered the heart of whoever was with him. Other nights he screamed like he was being tortured in his own bedroom, blood curdling cries that made my own blood boil with anger at the way he must have been treated. I honestly didn't know what was worse, the lonely nights or the tortured ones.

A pained, agonized scream erupted from my brother's raw throat and my hands clenched and my teeth ground as his unconscious pain was voiced. Tonight was a tortured dream. I swallowed hard and put my hands back onto his thrashing body and shook him roughly.

"Leo!" I shouted with a hint of desperation, wanting so badly for his pained screams to stop. "Leo, wake up!" He body bucked against my hands, his arms writhing in agony. I could feel the beginnings of tears reach the edges of my eyes as I watched his pain. I shook him harder.

"Leo!"

Suddenly his eyes shot open and his arms reached out to fight me off in terror. This was a reaction I was used to and my hands immediately went up to catch his fighting arms, fending off his weak attempts to defend himself.

"Leo, it's ok." I spoke to him, my voice softer now. I caught his groggy, frightened gaze and held it, his terrified eyes boring into mine as he began to recognize his surroundings. His muscles shook under my hands, his unmasked brow dripping with moisture.

"Raph?" He asked, his mind comprehending where he was. I breathed a small sigh of relief, and nodded my head.

"I woke you again." He said, his voice soft. I watched as he turned away, his muscles slowly relaxing as he began to realize he was in no danger. "I…I'm sorry." He muttered, his eyes closed in shame. I shook my head in frustration. No matter how many times we told him it wasn't his fault, no matter how many nights we reminded him that we didn't care that he woke us, he still felt guilty. I almost opened my mouth to spout off the same argument that he had heard one hundred times, when I stopped. It would do no good.

"Come on," I spoke instead, rising to my feet. "Let's go make some tea."

He turned his head and eyed me, a look of surprise crossing his face at my words. "You should go back to bed." He said softly.

"I'm wide awake." I said. "This is when my alarm goes off anyway these days."

Leo eyed me warily. "Your alarm goes off at four in the morning?" he asked, his eyes glancing at the clock next to his bed.

"Sure." I answered, a smirk crossing my face at the ridiculous question. "Early bird gets the worm or some shit like that."

Leo barked out a short burst of laughter at my words, causing me to smile. It was so rare to get him to laugh, or even smile these days. "This coming from the brother who we literally dragged out of his hammock in a heap of blankets when you wouldn't wake up for dinner?"

I rolled my eyes. "You comin with me or not?" I shot at him in mock frustration, holding my hand down.

He hesitated for a short moment, eyeing my hand suspiciously, then finally put one of his hands in mine. I pulled him to his feet, then turned and walked out of the room and to the kitchen. I went straight to the counter and began filling one of the tea kettles with water. I heard Leo come up next to me and get into the cabinet, grabbing two mugs.

"I got it." I told him, putting the kettle on the stove and turning on the heat. He paused, then move to the kitchen table and pulled out a chair, sitting heavily into the seat.

"Do you even know how to make tea?" he asked me.

"It's a bag of crap in water, how hard could it be?" I said, fishing around in the cabinet for the tea bags. I heard him snort softly from his seat at the table. With the water on the stove and the tea bags out, I turned toward the table to join my brother and froze. He sat in the chair with his elbows propped on the table, his face buried in his trembling hands. I frowned and pulled out my own chair, sitting next to him.

"Leo?"

I watched his shoulders rise and fall with his deep breath, but he didn't lift his head. I frowned. Despite all of our family's encouragement, Leo had resisted talking about what he was experiencing in his dreams. I was reluctant to ask him again. We sat in silence, Leo with his head hidden, me staring at the floor, unsure of what to say. When the tea kettle whistled both of us jumped visibly. I swallowed, then stood and made my way over to the stove, taking the kettle and pouring the steaming water into each of the mugs. I carried the cups to the table and set one in front of Leo who had barely moved. I took my seat into the chair next to him and began stirring the tea in my cup, my eyes staring at the swirling liquid.

"They're so real." He suddenly spoke. I looked up at his words, the tea forgotten. He still had his face hidden in his hands. At first I thought I imagined him saying anything at all, when he spoke again. "I…I know that it isn't real now. But it was. It was real. Reliving what happened every night…" I watched him as he took another deep breath, but didn't reply. "I am remembering, but it feels like it's happening again." I swallowed thickly, hoping that he would continue, but afraid to hear more. I knew that he needed to speak of what had happened, but now that he was, I found myself unsure if I wanted to know.

He dropped his hands to the table, revealing his face which was twisted in a pained grimace. His eyes appeared hollow, surrounded by dark rings as he stared tiredly down at his untouched drink. "Karai. She was behind the ambush, but it was Bishop that was behind the rest." He frowned. "I guess they were working together or something." I nodded, suspecting as much. "From what I gathered later on, they set it up to make it look like I was dead so that you guys wouldn't come looking for me."

A shiver travelled down my spine as I remembered that night on the rooftop. Leo's weapons, the lake of blood, overwhelming sadness. I swallowed hard and closed my eyes, trying to block out the memory.

"I never stopped looking." I spoke softly. He looked up at me and I thought I saw the hint of a smile cross his face, but it was gone in an instant. His gaze fell downward again and the room once again became silent. I fought the urge to say something else to fill the silence. Finally he continued, his voice softer than before.

"My time there is blurry. I'm remembering it in bits and pieces. They wouldn't tell me why I was there, and I didn't ask." He stopped, his breath becoming shaky as he sat beside me reliving the last six months. I reached out and placed a hand lightly on his trembling shoulder, willing him to go on.

"The first part of my imprisonment they dedicated to torture. The physical torture was bad, but it was the mental that was unbearable." He absentmindedly began to trace one of his shaking fingers along the wood of the table, fighting for courage to continue. I tightened my grip on his shoulder. "They kept me drugged. I don't know with what, but I could barely think or move while they were with me. Bishop was always there. Most of the beatings were by the hands of his workers, but he was always there. They poisoned me with pain. He poisoned me with his words. He would pace in front of me, tell me no one was coming, that you had abandoned me as one torture was performed after another. I never believed him, not then at least. Even through the haze of the drugs I knew he was lying. I don't know how much time passed, but that continued until I could barely remember where I was anymore, until I was losing the will to keep fighting.

"I think it was around that point that he started using the other drug." He continued. "And that was the worst part of the torture. The drug burned when it entered my vein, and as he kept giving me more, it began to burn my whole body. At first there was little effect, but as he continued, everything became a horror filled blur. I began to forget my family, and eventually I began to forget myself. I tried to fight it, but I was so weak. I was too weak. Eventually everything I remember fades away until I came to in your arms in the alley."

I hadn't realized my hand was clenched until I felt the pain of the table wood digging into my palm. Every muscle in my body was tight with anger, my teeth clenched so hard that they ached. I knew that Leo had been through a lot, but hearing it come from his pain filled voice telling me first hand what happened brought a deep, searing anger. I tried to keep my breaths even, to hide how Leo's words were affecting me, but I knew it was obvious.

Leo lifted his gaze and looked at me, his thin face eyeing me in concern. I forced myself to turn my frown upwards in an attempt to encourage him to continue, all the while planning the many ways that I was going to make Bishop pay. I heard Leo sigh loudly.

"I'm sorry." He said, his shaky voice entering my anger filled haze. "I shouldn't have burdened you with this."

His words snapped me out of my anger and I turned to him. "Don't be stupid." I voiced, trying to normalize my breathing. My eyes scanned over his thin, scarred body and a deep guilt replaced my anger. He had been through so much and I had been unable to stop it. I could do nothing to take his pain away.

We sat in silence once again, the only sound coming from our deep, shaky breaths. I couldn't bring myself to speak further, afraid of what my angered voice would sound like. They had made him think we weren't coming for him. My blood boiled at this thought, mostly because we didn't. We had tried, desperately, but we didn't. They had made sure of that. I looked up at my oldest brother and watched as he rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands, almost as if he was trying to rub away the memories.

"How did he come up with that damn drug?" I found myself asking out loud. "Mind control just doesn't seem like Bishop's normal style."

"I don't know." Leo answered softly. "But it worked." His voice trailed off and I could tell he was trying to beat himself up over the past again. I reached out and put my hand once again on his shoulder, trying to convey what we had already told him too many times. It wasn't your fault. Leo wetted his lips with his tongue.

"Their plan was to first set me loose on the family. I think they wanted me to take you alive…but they didn't care either way. That was going to be his ultimate test." Leo swallowed hard, pushing out the frightening words. "I can't remember…"

"It's ok." I said to him, trying to digest his words. They had wanted him to capture the family. For what? To control us too? The thought of it made my blood boil once again. I would die before I let Bishop touch any member of our family again. Leo took a deep breath next to me and I again looked up, watching him pull his head out of his hands. His tortured eyes met mine. They were small and full of fear.

"I can't let him do this again." Leo said softly, his eyes boring into mine. "I can't let him hurt anyone else."

I stayed silent for a moment, slowly digesting his words. I knew what he was trying to say. He wanted to go back and destroy the drug. He didn't want any chance of that substance getting near him or anyone else again. I turned my eyes away from his to hide my fluxing emotion. The last thing I wanted was to let my brother, or any of my family for that matter, near Bishop again. The deep, innate desire to protect Leo from further harm burned inside, and yet, I knew from the beginning that we would have to face this. Leo would not allow Bishop to continue, for fear that his next victim could be Mikey, or Donny, or that he could be influenced to hurt his family again. And deep down, I was itching to pay Bishop back for the pain he caused our family.

I raised my eyes back to his, and through his fear, I saw a determination that I recognized well. It was a look I had not seen in over six months, and I found myself smiling as a piece of my brother started to return. I felt myself nodding, then I reached out and placed my hand back on his shoulder.

"Let's get you healthy first." I said firmly, leaving no room for argument. "You won't do anyone any good trying to take on Bishop until you're stronger." I saw Leo look away and down at his hands, but felt relief when I saw him nod in agreement. I tightened my hand on his shoulder and he looked back up, leveling his gaze with mine. I gave him a hard look, and my eyes steeled with determination. "Then we will come after Bishop, together." My eyes narrowed and as I continued to look upon my brother's battered but healing frame, my voice lowered and my teeth clenched in anger and determination. "I promised Bishop he would pay, and I never break my promises."


	15. Chapter 15

The lone candle sat in the middle of the floor, its flickering light bouncing off of the objects around it. The light danced upon the desk, still covered in a layer of dust despite the increased activity of late. It flickered off the small bed, the sheets disheveled and lying in a heap at the end. It lit up the blanket, lying in pile on the floor after being violently kicked off the bed due to thrashing limbs.

I watched the light dance in morbid fascination, entranced by how peaceful it all seemed now, when not even a half hour ago the bed was a place of anything but peace. I wondered if, in the soft candle light, the dark circles under my eyes looked less imposing, the scars that littered my body less menacing. My heavy lids slid halfway down my eyes in exhaustion, but I would not allow them to close. I would not allow myself to sleep anymore this night. I had endured enough torture, enough pain.

I leaned into the corner of the room and drew my knees up, wrapping my arms around my legs and laying my head lightly down upon my knees, letting out a long, pained sigh. I could feel my muscles, tight and tremoring, through my arms and legs, and though I tried, I could not will them to stop.

The nightmares would not stop. I could not get through one night without the horrible images flooding my mind. They were so real, almost as if I was reliving the experience again and again. At first I had been a burden on my brothers, waking them every night with my suffering, but thankfully, I had been able to somehow control the extent of my outward signs, and I had not woken them for some time. They think my nightmares are starting to wane, and I do not want to upset them with the truth, that I do not think my nightmares will ever go away.

A chill ran up my spine and I hugged my knees closer to my chest. The worst nightmares had started recently, since it was decided that we were going to go after Bishop. As the plans to go after the drug developed, my horrid dreams began to shift to images of my brothers. I could see our plans going wrong, Bishop and the foot getting their hands on my brothers and taking them like they did me. I could see images of them in shackles, as I once was, tortured and warped into a mindless weapon. It was those dreams that frightened me the most. The dreams of my own mistreatment I could live with, even get used to, but the dreams of my brothers coming to harm…

I suddenly pulled myself to my feet and began to pace the length of the room. Images of Don in a cell, of Mikey restrained, of Raph poked and prodded and tortured flooded my mind. I clenched my fists and paced in earnest.

It had been a week since Raph told the family about our desire to go after Bishop. Don and Mikey were all in. They had been anticipating it too. The plans had started not long after. We figured if we were going to be prepared, we should start right away. At first I had been eager to help, and relieved that my brothers were going to help me with this task. But as the planning continued I began to dread the idea. And as the days went on and I found my strength slowly returning, and my body slowly healing, the fear continued to grow. And then the new, vivid nightmares started.

I sighed, and as another chill wracked my frame I pulled my arms around my chest. My fingers hit the long, raised scar down my arm and I traced the length of it, my eyes closing in a silent dread.

"_Give in Leonardo" his deep voice drolled out. _

_I refused to meet his eyes, keeping my own downcast, boring into the floor. I refused to allow him to see my weakness. My wrists were raw and aching, suspended above my head. I could no longer feel my fingers. My feet barely touched the floor to help me support my weight. _

"_You will give in. I will own you." His voice was up close. I could feel his hot breath on my cheek. I turned my head away, doing anything I could to not meet his gaze. I could hear him move in front of me. His hands touched my face and I pulled my head away, cringing at his touch. _

"_I will have you." He said, his words dripping from his mouth like poison. "I will have all of you. Eventually you will fall, and your brothers will follow right behind you."_

_His words pierced through my hazy consciousness and a fear stabbed my heart like ice. A strength I didn't know I still had surged through my body and I leapt at him, a deep growl coming from my aching throat. My progress hindered abruptly as the chains lurched against the wall, but I kept struggling, trying to wrap my bound hands around his neck at the mention of my brothers. A small smile crossed his face at my reaction and he turned from me to grab something behind him. I saw him turn back, a long whip in hand. Without warning he took the weapon and struck out, the long lash cutting deeply into my arm. I let out a soft cry at the sudden pain as the whip ripped through my flesh. My struggles immediately ceased as the pain wrapped around me and whatever strength I had found was sapped away. I felt the blood trickling from the deep wound and my arm shook from the pain. A hand suddenly wrapped around my neck and pushed my head back, striking it into the wall. My vision swam and I closed my eyes. The grip tightened. _

"_Resistance is futile." His voice rang through my head. The last thing I heard before I lost consciousness was his vicious laughter. _

I jerked my hand away from the scar, unable to feel it beneath my fingers any longer. The memories were so vivid. I almost wish I could just forget it all. And what he said about my brothers, that thought was worse than all the torture I endured combined. I could not allow him to get his hands on them. I would not allow it.

I started pacing again, a new resolution taking over. I would not allow him to harm them like he did me. I would not allow their bodies to be marred like mine. I would not allow it. I gritted my teeth, and as much fear as my decision brought me, a calm also came with it. I would not allow them to be put in harms way. Not for me.

I quickly blew out the candle and strode over to my bedroom door and pulled it open, then walked out with purposeful steps. I swung a left into the dojo and stood for a moment allowing my eyes to adjust to the dark. It didn't take long for my gaze to fall on my swords. I took quick steps to reach them, and when I did, my eyes softened. I hadn't handled my blades in over six months. Sure, Bishop's men had given me replacements, but they were tainted, and they weren't mine.

I took a moment and let my finger tips run over the cool steel, caressing the blade softly. I had missed my weapons. I had wanted to use them since I had been home, but Don had been strict, saying I wasn't ready to train. I pushed his words out of my head and pulled the swords from their resting place, relishing in their weight in my palms. I swung my arm in a sweeping motion to the right, then back to the left, and back again, then hissed in pain as the movement tugged on one of my healing injuries. I momentarily lost my grip on the hilt and the sword fell to the ground, making a loud clanging noise.

I clenched my teeth and froze, waiting to see if any other movement would disturb the quiet of the lair. After a few seconds, my muscles relaxed as I realized with relief that I had not woken anyone. I carefully picked up the blade from the ground and cradled it in my hands, then walked over and sheathed it. I grabbed the second sword and sheathed it as well, then gingerly strapped the weapons to my back. The leather bit into more healing, open wounds, but this time I was able to ignore the pain. The weight of my swords on my back felt familiar and reassuring, and I felt some of my original fear ebb slightly.

I made my way from the dojo and down the hall, entering the large living space. I couldn't stop a shiver running up my spine as I remembered the destruction I had caused in this room not even two weeks ago. The room was cleaned now, not showing any signs of the struggle that had been, but I could not erase the horror of that night from my mind. I took a deep breath then moved resolutely to the door. My hand reached for the handle.

"Where are you going?" I froze as the voice cut through the quiet lair. I turned my head and saw my youngest brother staring at me from the end of the hall, his brown eyes knotted in confusion. My hand dropped to my side.

"I…" I started, but the lie died on my tongue as I stared back at him. I turned to face him. He was standing with his arms at his sides, an almost glazed look to his gaze as if he had recently woken.

"Why are you leaving?" he asked, his voice quiet, almost frightened. I bit my lip and a wave of guilt washed over me as I looked back into his eyes. I opened my mouth again, but had no answer for him. I didn't want to tell him the true answer, that I had hoped to sneak out before they awoke, that I planned on facing Bishop alone. I knew they wouldn't understand.

"You were going after Bishop, weren't you?" he asked, though his voice already held conviction. I averted my gaze at his question, the guilt rising ten fold within me. I felt his eyes boring into me, and suddenly my chest tightened.

"I'm sorry." I said at last, not even attempting to cover my intentions. "I just…I need to do this."

"We were going to do it together." He answered. "We have a plan."

"I know we have a plan." I snapped, my words coming out harsher than I meant them. I frowned, then looked up to meet his eyes. "I can't let you guys march right into Bishop's place and risk getting captured, or worse."

"Well you can't do it alone!" Mikey yelled back, his voice laced with hurt. "You're still hurt. And we aren't letting you do this without us!"

I clenched my eyes shut in frustration. "Mikey, I can't…" I started. The memories of the scar flooded back, the crack of the whip echoing through my mind. I clenched my teeth, trying to fight back the images. "I can't let him get you. I can't let him hurt you like he did me. I can't…" My voice trailed off. My throat started to burn and I was having trouble forming the words.

I heard foot steps approach me and suddenly his hand was on my shoulder. I felt him squeeze and I clenched my eyes tighter trying to erase my memories. We were silent, the only sound coming from my shattered breaths. Then his voice sounded, clear and steady through the quiet.

"Well I can't lose you again." He said. I opened my eyes and immediately met with his brown orbs, tears beginning to brim the edges of his eyes. He put his second hand on my other shoulder and locked his gaze with mine. "I can't lose you again." He repeated. "I can't do it again. We thought you were dead, Leo. We thought you were gone…" His words trailed off, his eyes drifting downward. "But then you came back, you were alive." He looked back up at me, his eyes brimming with tears. "I can't lose you again, Leo. I wouldn't survive it. Our family wouldn't survive it."

Suddenly I was wrapped in his arms and he was hugging me tightly. I found myself following suit almost automatically, wrapping my arms around him, melting into his loving embrace and all my uncertainty melted away. He buried his face into my shoulder and I could feel the hot tears snake their way down to my skin. I clung to him tighter, feeling all of his grief as he grasped me. I suddenly felt tears spill over my eyes and down my cheeks. I clenched my eyes closed and let him hold me.

I felt his hands grab the leather straps wrapped around my shell and undo them, letting my weapons fall gently to the floor. Then he pulled me into a tighter hug. "Don't ever leave us again." He said softly into my ear.

"I'm sorry," I said, my voice shaking. Finally he lessened his grip on me and we pulled apart, our eyes meeting again, our grief reflected in each others eyes.

"We're going to stick to the plan." He said, and I found myself nodding at his words. "We are going to do this together. You don't have to face everything alone."

I suddenly felt a great fatigue as he spoke those words, and I felt my muscles sag slightly, all my conviction to leave gone, along with my strength. Mikey must have felt it to, because before I knew it, he was leading me to the couch. We sat heavily into the cushions and he pulled me close to him. My head heavily fell into his shoulder. I felt him nestle his cheek against my forehead. It struck me suddenly how much Mikey had matured as he sat and comforted his older brother, being a pillar of strength for his brother who was supposed to be the strongest.

I felt my eyelids grow heavy, and soon my eyes were closed, my muscles relaxing in sleep. I felt Mikey's arm tighten around my shoulder as my mind drifted off, and I was not afraid. And that night I had my first sleep where nightmares couldn't reach me.


	16. Chapter 16

I awoke the next morning in the same position as I was in before. My eyelids slowly opened and my bleary eyes took in my surroundings. My head was nestled lightly on my brother's shoulder. I could feel his cheek resting on my forehead and soft snores emitting from above. A small smile crossed my face and my eyes fell closed again.

A soft sound from the kitchen pulled my eyes back open. I tried to turn my head to find the source of the sound, but was weighed down by my sleeping little brother. I sighed, fighting off the desire to close my eyes and resume sleep. I shifted slightly, supporting Mikey in my arms and as I moved I slowly lowered him back to the couch where he continued to sleep undisturbed. I smiled softly at his form, then made my way to the next room where I found my brothers, Raph sitting at the kitchen table with a fresh bowl of cereal, and Don starting the coffee machine. I sat heavily in the kitchen chair across from Raph and looked at him with bleary eyes.

"Sleep alright?" he asked, a soft smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

I felt my cheeks redden, but I smiled and turned my body to look back at my brother's sleeping form on the couch behind me. "Yeah." I answered simply.

Raph's eyes left mine and moved downward to his cereal bowl, his spoon moving through the milk pushing around the uneaten food. An almost imperceptible shadow crossed his features as he looked at the swirling bowl of food. "Those your swords laying out there in the hall?" he finally asked, his voice soft but dark, his previous smile wiped from his face.

I swallowed thickly and let my eyes drop slowly down to the table. Of course they had noticed. I heard Don press the start button on the coffee maker, then he moved toward me, dropping a fresh bowl of cereal in front of me, then sat in the chair next to mine. I could feel their eyes on me, boring their gaze into my hunched form. I sat silently, waiting for the onslaught of yelling, of cursing, of hurt words at my attempted departure.

"You're and idiot." Was all that was said. I looked up sharply, my eyes immediately meeting Raph's. Our gazes leveled and his smoldering eyes caught me off guard. I dropped my eyes from his again, unable to hold his gaze.

"Yeah." I answered back, not able to argue.

I felt Don's hand rest on my shoulder and the sound of his chair scraping across the floor as he moved closer to me. "We need to put the final touches on the plan." He said softly. I could tell he wanted to talk about my swords in the hall, about how he likely broke down when he did not find me in my bed this morning, but he didn't continue. I tried to extend my apologies through my eyes because I could not find the strength to speak them. His eyes met mine, and finally he smiled slightly, and I knew I was forgiven my weakness. It still did not ebb my guilt. Finally I nodded my response.

The silence in the kitchen was broken by the coffee machine as it beeped, signaling to its maker that the highly caffeinated beverage was ready. Don squeezed my shoulder, then suddenly stood to get his drink. I watched as he poured the steaming liquid into his cup, then he turned.

"I'll be in the lab. Meet me in there when you've had something to eat." I nodded in response, then he left, carrying his cup of coffee in one hand and a brimming bowl of cereal in the other.

I looked away and my gaze again met Raph's. He stared at me silently, then turned back to his cereal. We ate our breakfast in silence, the only sound was the clanking of our spoons in the ceramic bowls. Finally, after he took his last bite, Raph stood in one graceful motion and placed his bowl into the sink. I watched as he made his way from the kitchen, then stopped suddenly. His shoulder stiffened.

"Don't you dare try to leave like that again." He said, his voice dark, a slight tremor detectable as he spoke.

I took a deep breath. "I won't." I answered softly. And I meant it.

I looked back down at my cereal, eyeing the bowl that was still half full, but my appetite had gone. I had been unable to eat much since returning to semi-normal function. Don said it was because of malnutrition and that my body had to get used to eating again, and he took every chance that he could to make sure that I practiced. I laughed softly at the thought, then stood, placed my bowl in the sink and followed Raph to the lab.

Donny was sitting at his computer, eating bites of his breakfast as he stared at the screen. I saw Raph sitting on the small couch against the wall and joined him, sitting into the seat heavily.

"I still havn't been able to find where he's been hiding." Don said, a small amount of frustration in his voice. "But we should still be able to make contact without the location, assuming he is still out there looking for you."

"He will be." I said softly, certainty flooding my voice. "He put too much time into his little project to just let me go."

I felt Raph stiffen next to me. "We ain't gonna let him touch you again, you know that, right?" he said.

"Yeah, I know." I answered, though I couldn't keep the slight note of fear out of my voice. I hated feeling this weak, this helpless. I was used to feeling more sure, more in control, but that stuff did something to me, and the thought of getting near it, of getting near him again, frightened me.

We began to discuss the plan again, and if all went as we intended, we were going to set out tonight. I still wasn't in top form, but I was getting close, and we feared the longer we waited, the less the chance that Bishop and the foot would be out there looking. It had been more than two weeks since my brothers rescued me, and we had not left the lair since. Our plan depended on Bishop still looking for us, so we had to deliver before he lost interest or had given up.

Mikey drifted into the lab during our discussions, his eyes full of sleep, and sat heavily on the couch next to me and wrapped his arm back around my shoulders, picking up where we left off on the couch. I turned and smiled at him in what I hoped was a reassuring way.

After awhile, the discussion faded and the plans were set. I stood, making my way to the dojo. I had to get loose and ready if I was going to be able to hold my own tonight. I knew my strength still wasn't what it was, and that frightened me. I had to be able to defend myself and my brothers should anything go wrong. I stretched my right arm, feeling the strain and burn of my underused muscles. My still healing wounds tugged uncomfortably as I moved into another stretch, trying to assess my mobility. My left shoulder did not want to rotate fully, and I strained it harder, forcing it move into the position I wanted. My muscle burned and screamed and as I forced it further a shooting pain came up my arm and I hissed out loud, dropping my arm back to my side.

"You alright?" a gruff voice asked from behind me.

I turned and saw Raph standing in the doorway, my swords clasped in his hand where he had picked them up from the hall. I averted my eyes pushing back the frustration at my limitations. "Yeah." I answered simply.

He walked into the room to my side, watching as I rotated my shoulder, trying to loosen it further. "You sure you're ready for this?" he asked, still eyeing me carefully. "Cause we can wait. We don't have to do it like this."

"I'm ready." I said shortly, refusing to meet his gaze. He continued to watch me silently. My insecurities rose as his gaze bore into me. I swallowed hard and continued my stretching exercise. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him raise my swords as if in an invitation. I stopped stretching and turned to face him. I carefully reached for the hilts, pulling them carefully from their sheaths, relishing in the ring of the blade as they were freed.

Raph moved and put the firm leather holder back against the wall, then picked up his sais and came back to where I was standing. He placed his weapons in a defensive position, inviting me to spar. I swallowed thickly, frightened to continue and discover more weakness that could put my family at risk. He twitched his sai slightly toward him in a repeat invitation. I had one last moment of hesitation, then I steeled my gaze and tightened my grip on the hilts and charged.

Our blades rang loudly as they clashed together. I immediately pulled back and swung them forward in another attack. Raph quickly raised his sais to meet mine and the blades rang again. I pulled away and kicked, my foot connecting with Raph's plastron, sending him backward. He was knocked a few steps back, but immediately recovered and raised his weapons again. My muscles were screaming as I put them back to use, but I ignored the pain, staying focused.

Raph came forward and pushed his sais forward in attack. I brought my swords up and caught the blades in defense. I could tell he was not using his full strength and it bothered me. I narrowed my eyes and pushed the blades away, immediately coming forward with another offensive move, my kick connecting with his shoulder and sending him backward. Raph fell and connected with the mat, sliding a couple of inches as his body connected. I took the momentary reprieve as he raised himself and panted softly, trying to regain my breath.

"Wanna go again?" he asked, and I caught a hint of playful malice in his eyes. I nodded, and he came at me again.

We continued through the afternoon. Raph pushing my strength and me testing my weakness. We were drawn from our sparring by a soft sound of someone clearing their throat from the doorway. I turned and saw Don standing there, his calculating gaze sweeping over my form, adding up my exhaustion and stiff movements. I lowered my weapons and met his gaze, trying to convey to him that I was fine.

"We only have a few more hours until sundown." He said. "Come on, I have some dinner ready, then we need to rest." I knew he was directing the last part at me. I tried not to let my frustration show as I felt myself panting heavier than what would be normal. I ignored my screaming muscles and moved over to sheath my swords. As I turned back toward the door I felt Raph's arm land around my shoulders. I managed a small smile in his direction, then he steered me out of the dojo and to the kitchen where warm pizza was waiting.

I made it to my room shortly after, needing some solitude. I closed the door and sat heavily on my bed, the sheets still thrown all over the mattress from the previous evenings nightmares. I sat back on the bed, my carapace resting against the wall. My eyes closed, and I began taking slow, deep breaths, trying to stay my nerves as I thought of the nights activities that were slowly inching nearer.

I would never admit it to my brothers, but I was terrified to face Bishop. He had stolen away my confidence and had broken me, altering my personality so severely that I had attacked my own family. I had never thought he was capable of such things, I had never thought I was capable of such things. The thought of going near him again, of going back to the place where he had stripped me of myself was frightening.

My breaths sped up and I tried desperately to calm my anxiety. I had to be in top form, physically and mentally if I was going to get through tonight and protect my brothers from his evil. My brothers. I felt a violent flip in my stomach as Bishop's words once again rang through my head. _"I will have all of you." _No. I would not allow it. I would not allow him to take them like he did me.

I drew my knees up to my chest and buried my face, again trying to calm my breaths as anxiety and fear bubbled beneath the surface. When had I become so weak? I was nothing. How could I protect my brothers if I could not even protect myself from him? How was I going to keep them safe?

My mind felt clouded as all of my doubt circled through my mind. I felt hot tears begin to form at the bottom of my eyes. I could not keep my thoughts straight as one horrible scenario after another played out in my mind. There was so much that could go wrong tonight. There was so much being left to chance. I couldn't let them do this. I couldn't let them risk themselves for me. I rubbed my palms roughly in my eyes trying to smother the dark thoughts racing through my brain.

"Leo?" a voice called from outside the door. Don. Or at least I think it was Don. I didn't answer and retreated deeper within myself. I could not shake the circling thoughts from my mind. Whips, needles, torture, my sword at Raph's throat. I was going back to that, willingly.

Somewhere far away I heard a door open and footsteps coming toward me. "Leo?" I felt a hand land on my shoulder, but I could not lift my head, I was immobilized. I pictured Don alone in a cell, I saw Mikey in shackles without a trace of laughter, I saw Raph being beaten. No. I would not allow this to happen.

"Guys!" I heard a voice next to me yell. Rage at these thoughts began to build within me and despite my fear, a determination also rose. If we did nothing, he could still come after us again. Despite the danger, we had to do this. I had to trust that we could pull this off. Something had to be done to stop this. I steeled my hazy mind and my teeth clenched painfully as anger and determination began to wash over me. I heard more footsteps approach, but my mind felt far away as it swirled in rage and fear.

"Leo?" another voice spoke, soft and almost frightened. "Is he alright?"

"We should call it off tonight. He isn't ready." Another voice said, gruff and shaky. No. I was not going to be stopped. I would not be stopped.

"Leo?" At this soft question I lifted my head suddenly, my eyes narrowed and determined. My vision was red and my breaths slowed, and anger took over.


	17. Chapter 17

The first thing I noticed was the biting wind as it hit my skin. I almost made a noise as I felt it sting my arms. There was a dense fog that lay suffocating over the city, making it difficult to fully take in my surroundings. My bandana tails blew forward into my face as I carefully placed one foot in front of the other. I felt my arms wrenched behind me and the feeling of thick, rough rope wrapped around my wrists. I fought the urge to struggle against them and instead put all of my energy toward standing upright. The buildings surrounding our progress kept us hidden in the shadows.

I suddenly felt a tug on the ropes and I was dragged forward. As I came forward my arm brushed up against another body and I looked up, seeing my two brothers being pulled in the same manner beside me, their hands also bound with rope.

I looked to the right and saw Mikey, his eyes darting back and forth, left to right. I caught his gaze as his eyes turned my way and tried to give him a reassuring smile. He did not return it. I then looked to my left and saw Don walking carefully forward. A large bruise marred the shoulder I could see. He stared straight ahead, his gaze locked on something in front of us.

Through the swirling fog I could make out a fourth figure not far ahead. He walked forward, his posture stiff, his steps purposeful, his black bandana tails fluttering back and forth. He had a rope clenched in his hands, but the rest of him was unbound. I felt the rough material dig into my wrists as he pulled us forward through the mist. The dark around us was suffocating, the moon blocked out by the fog. I clenched my teeth and continued forward, because I had no other choice.

We continued to walk through the dark. My muscles tremored from the cold and I could barely feel my fingertips. I could see Don and Mikey shivering as well. I tried to calm myself and push out the discomfort of the ropes against my freezing skin and attempted to keep track of where we were going.

Suddenly I found myself bumping into Mikey almost knocking him forward. We both almost lost our balance with our hands tied, but we were able to stay upright. Our forward progress had stopped. I let my eyes scan our surroundings and found we were back in the alley where we had recovered Leo two weeks ago. My heart sped as I recognized where we were and my muscles tightened.

I looked forward and saw Leo standing silently, erect, facing away from us, showing no signs of recognition. He still grasped the end of the rope that bound the rest of us in his hand.

"Leo?" Mikey tried softly, his voice holding a slight tremor. "Leo, please." But Leo did not turn and did not respond in any way to Mikey's plea. My eyes drifted to the ground and saw my feet, dirty from being pulled through the sewers and then through the littered alleys. I did not attempt to speak to my brother up ahead. I knew I would get no response.

We waited. I don't know how long, but eventually Don sank to ground, folding his legs under him, his head bowed as if in prayer. Mikey followed suit and knelt down quietly next to Don, leaning his body toward him for silent support. I couldn't sit, I was too anxious. My arms ached from where I knew deep bruises sat. I didn't know what to do and so as the seconds ticked on I just stood, my head hung in defeat.

My mind was suddenly pulled away from thought as a small sound from the shadows echoed through the alley. I saw Don and Mikey scramble to their feet and knew they heard it too. All three of us began turning our heads quickly back and forth, trying to find the source of the sound. Leo continued to stand still and silent, as if he did not hear a thing. Then slowly, all around us, foot began to materialize out of the shadows. My muscles tensed as I watched twenty, maybe thirty appear, surrounding us, closing off the end of the alley. They had been scouting this area.

"Leo, please don't do this!" I heard Don beg from beside me. Again, Leo did not move or even show the slightest hint that he heard Don's pleas. As I watched the foot advance I began to struggle against our bonds letting out a deep growl as the came nearer to me. One came within my reach and I kicked out, knocking him backward and into two of his buddies sending them into a brick wall. The rest stopped their advances and I eyed them maliciously, daring them to come closer. They didn't.

I turned and saw one of the foot come up to Leo who remained still. He moved around my brother, eyeing his frame carefully as if being sure that this was the same turtle they had captured before. Leo did not move, did not even appear to flinch as the single foot ninja continued to eye him. Finally he backed away and pulled out a device.

"We found him." his deep voice spoke.

"Is he controlled?" the next voice spoke, almost too eagerly at the news. My blood turned to ice when I heard that familiar voice crackle through the device. Bishop.

"Appears to be." The foot member answered. "He is acting the same as before. And you'll never guess who he has with him."

There was silence on the other end, then Bishop's voice returned, his voice ecstatic. "Bring them all to me, immediately."

The foot ninja stored the device away and made a signal to the others. Suddenly the other foot members began to close in on the three of us. As they continued forward I kicked out, knocking the approaching members backward. I saw Don and Mikey begin to struggle with their bonds in earnest as the foot continued closer. As their hands approached to grab us, we were suddenly jerked forward by the rope. We all almost lost our balance at the sudden movement, but the motion was enough to stop the foot member's progress as they froze in surprise. I turned forward again and saw Leo, still as stiff and stoic as before, pulling the rope toward him and moving forward, taking us along with him.

Our struggling ceased as we saw that it was Leo leading the progress with the rope in his hand and we began to move forward with him, showing some cooperation if only to keep the rest of the foot away from us. The ninja who was standing next to Leo saw our reaction and held up a hand to stop the rest of the foot's advances toward us.

"Let the turtle lead the rest." He said softly. "They appear to be well restrained."

The rest wordlessly backed away, melting once again into the shadows of the building. Though we couldn't seem them well anymore, we knew they were still there, and would likely remain around us as we moved.

"Leo, please, stop this!" I heard Mikey voice next to me, his voice tremoring. "Leo, we are your brothers. Come on! Remember!"

I saw the foot ninja in front stiffen in response to Mikey's words and he turned back to Leo as if watching him for a reaction. Leo did not move and did not respond to Mikey's desperate pleas. The ninja seemed satisfied with Leo's state then motioned for him to follow. Leo started forward behind the foot ninja, pulling the rope and dragging us in tow.

We attempted to resist as the rope became taught. We dug our heels into the ground causing Leo to almost lose hold of the rope as we moved, but once progress was stopped, the hidden foot in the shadows began to converge on us, weapons drawn. I was ready to continue fighting, but a firm look from Don caused me to give in. Once we had stopped putting up a fight, the extra foot melted away again. Leo was once again beckoned forward and this time, we followed without stop.

We walked through the cold night, being dragged by our own brother, the ropes cutting into our skin. I tried my best to keep track of where we were being taken, but through the fog it was difficult to follow the path we were being led. Occasionally I would raise my eyes from the ground and try to find the eyes of my brothers, but Mikey walked silently, his eyes downcast and Don seemed intent on watching Leo ahead of us who had yet to turn around and even acknowledge that we were bound behind him.

I let my eyes trail back down to the ground, paying attention to putting one foot in front of the other. I didn't notice we had stopped until I ran straight into Mikey, again almost knocking him off of his feet. I immediately looked up and found we were in front of a large, run down building. The windows on the bottom floors were broken, no lights were seen coming from inside. My eyes narrowed. Was this really where we were stopping?

My silent question was answered when the doors were suddenly opened and more foot ninja exited, holding the doors open and allowing entrance. I saw Don's calculating gaze flow over the structure as if trying to add up all the weaknesses so we could attempt escape. My eyes then fell to Leo ahead, trying to see if he had any reaction to returning to the building of his nightmares, but he continued to stare ahead. Suddenly we were again pulled forward and Leo, holding the rope, led us into the building.

The entrance was dark and dusty, there were piles of rubble scattered over the floor. Cob webs covered the debris. It appeared as though nothing had inhabited this building for years. I glanced at Don who met my gaze and my confusion was mirrored in his eyes. We continued to walk forward until we reached an old elevator. I couldn't imagine that it worked, especially if it was in the same condition as the bottom level, but a minute later the doors opened and revealed a large, stainless steel, pristine elevator. I eyed the elevator suspiciously, but without a choice we were tugged onto the machine. We were pushed to the back, and Leo took his position in front, just behind the doors as they closed shut with a beep.

There were three foot ninja that came in with us, flanking us on each side. Don and Mikey didn't say a word, and I followed suit. We didn't know where this elevator was taking us. We didn't know what to expect. The elevator continued to take us up. I looked at the lit up numbers above us. 23, 24, 25. I frowned. My hands tugged again at the ropes binding my wrists, but they stayed restrained.

Finally the elevator stopped on floor 30. The doors opened and we were lead out. The hallway that we entered into was similar to the elevator and nothing like the bottom floor. It appeared to have been renovated, much more up to date than the lower floors. The walls were pure white with nothing lining them. No color, no pictures. The floor was gray tile that was just as plain as the walls. There was an occasional closed door that was made out of the same stainless steel as the elevator.

We were dragged down most of the hall way until we stopped in front of another door and the foot ninja knocked loudly. The door slid sideways on its own with a loud hissing noise. The light that filtered out of the room was blinding after walking through the dark night and bland hallways.

"Bring them."

We were tugged inside behind Leo. The room was expansive and lit in an iridescent glow from the large light fixtures above. The room was lined with tables covered with beakers and instruments that I'm sure Don recognized. There were two large tables in the middle of the room, restraints hanging from the edges. And at the far end of the room, facing away from us, was Bishop. His hands were clasped behind his back, his stance rigid. My eyes narrowed when I took in his form and I had to suppress a deep growl.

"So you came home." He said, and we all knew who he was talking to. He turned, a frightening smile over his face. He walked across the room with long strides, closing the distance between him and Leo. My muscles tensed as I watched him stop just in front of my still brother. I thought I could see Leo's muscles tense ever so slightly as he neared.

"Where did you find him?" he asked softly, never taking his eyes off Leo.

"In the alley. The same one they took him from." One of the foot ninja answered.

"Like a good pet, he returned to his master." He said softly. He continued to gaze at our brother almost with a hungry stare. "We will need to take him to the top floor. His chip must be running low after so long." I saw the head foot ninja nod in response.

Seeing Bishop so near my brother made my blood boil. I remembered what Leo told me of his nightmares, of how Bishop treated him, of the scars that I could still see up and down Leo's body, and I couldn't help the low growl that escaped my throat at his words.

At my sound he suddenly looked away and his eyes met mine. "Oh yes, I almost forgot about our guests!" He left Leo standing in front of us, the rope still in his hand. He walked over and eyed the restraints wrapped around our wrists and smiled.

"You kept him away for quite some time, I was afraid his loyalty was starting to waiver. Then here he is, bringing me the ultimate prize." His eyes scanned over Don and Mikey and then me. He reached out and grabbed Mikey by the bandana tails, pulling his face up to meet his.

"Get your hands off of him!" I screamed and kicked out at him. He easily dodged my attack, but his hand let go of Mikey's bandana.

"Raphael." He said, my name coming out of his mouth like a curse. "We will have to work on your obedience."

"You won't touch us." I said darkly.

Bishop shook his head, almost in amusement. "Any animal can be broken." He said, moving away from us and back toward Leo. "Just look at your brother. Once so loyal to his family, and now, he brings you to me in chains. I must admit, he took a long time to break…"

He grabbed Leo by the black bandana tails and pulled his head around to face him. "But don't worry." He said, staring back at Leo's blank stare. "You will break, just like he did."

"I don't think so."

Leo's blank expression suddenly turned as his teeth clenched and his eyes narrowed. Bishop barely had time to register his surprise before Leo grabbed Bishop's neck with his hand. With the other hand he pulled downward on the rope and with the specific downward pressure the binds that held our hands fell away, the specially tied knots giving immediately.

Don and Mikey immediately jumped forward, engaging the two foot ninja standing on either side of them, taking advantage of their surprise and knocking them out swiftly. I jumped forward, ready to aid Leo in his assault. I watched as Bishop's face, held forward by the pressure of Leo's hand, turned red and contorted with rage.

"You…" he sputtered, but he couldn't finish his sentence as Leo laid a swift kick to his chest, causing him to fly backward into the near wall. He hit the surface with a loud thud and fell to his knees. I quickly advanced on his form, rage pulsing through my veins. He raised his head and looked at me, his eyes full of malice.

"Remember how I said you would pay?" I growled out, my eyes narrowed in anger. "Well, your debt is due." I threw out a hard kick that connected roughly with his face and Bishop crumpled to the ground.

I turned and my eyes met Leo's. "Well played." I said, putting my hand on his shoulder. He was panting heavily, his muscles trembling slightly after his confrontation. He took a deep breath, then let a small smile cross his face.

"Now," I said, leading him over to where Donny and Mikey were standing. "Let's go drug hunting."


	18. Chapter 18

I stood, almost numb, staring at the crumpled form of Bishop as he lay motionless against the wall. I could not stop my muscles from shaking. My heart was racing and anger threatened to erupt as I stared at the man who had nearly ruined my life. I vaguely heard footsteps approach and soon I felt a strong hand land on my shoulder and my vision was flooded with the image of Raph, a sly smile on his face.

"Well played." He said simply. I took another deep breath and pushed my feelings of anger away, then nodded in response. I felt his strong hand close around my shoulder and he turned me away from the crumpled form of Bishop and led me over to where Mikey and Don stood.

"Now," I heard him say. "Let's go drug hunting."

I felt my heart race again within my chest. The drug. We needed to get rid of that God forsaken substance. I took a moment to look my brothers over, checking them quickly for any injuries.

"Are you guys alright?" I asked.

Raph snorted in reply. "Yeah, Leo, we're fine. Worry about yourself, alright?"

I let my eyes wander to the large bruise that crossed over Don's shoulder and the one that stretched over Raph's arm. "I still don't see why you had to injure yourselves." I said glumly.

"We needed to make it believable." Raph answered firmly.

"And it worked!" Mikey said brightly.

"Mostly due to his own arrogance." Don said, rolling his eyes. "Now stop worrying about us. We need to get moving. Bishop mentioned taking Leo to the top floor to refill the chip. That must be where it is."

"Then what are we waiting for?" Mikey said, a grin crossing his features. "Let's get rid of that stuff once and for all."

I watched as Don quickly walked over to the door that we had entered through. He scanned the frame and after a moment pressed a slightly concealed button, causing the door to once again slide open. I took the lead and peered out of the door looking to see if we had enemies waiting on the outside. The hallway was empty.

"Come on, lets hurry." I said, motioning for the others to follow. We hurried down the plain hallway as quietly as possible, passing numerous closed doors as we retraced our steps back to the elevator. My muscles were taught and my arm ached from where I had grasped Bishop so tightly, but I pushed the pain away and continued on.

We reached the elevator and Don pushed the button. Raph and Mikey faced down the hall and Don and I faced the elevator, our weapons drawn and ready in case enemies approached. After a moment the elevator beeped and the doors opened. On the other side were five very surprised foot ninja. The second the doors opened Don and I leapt forward immediately engaging the foot in the elevator. We took out the first two quickly as they were unaware, but the three behind were able to draw their weapons.

Mikey and Raph, realizing that enemies had come with the elevator, immediately turned and jumped into the stainless steel box, helping Don and I quickly dispatch the last three. In moments five unconscious ninja lay at our feet. The elevator doors began to close and Mikey stuck a hand out holding the door open.

"I think this is your stop, dudes." He said grinning. Raph rolled his eyes and we quickly set to work, dragging the unconscious bodies out of the elevator and into the hall, leaving them in a crumpled heap on the floor.

"Going up!" Mikey yelled and let go of the doors allowing them to close behind us. Don pressed the highest number, floor 45, and the elevator shot upward. We stood silently as we were carried higher. My heart was racing, my hands clenched tightly in anticipation.

The elevator lurched as it slowed at floor 45 and the doors slowly opened, revealing another long, white hallway which appeared to be empty.

"What's up with all this white?" Mikey asked with a grin. "Hire an interior decorator, get a bucket of paint, a picture, something!"

"My guess is when they were remodeling this place they weren't very worried about color." Don answered, rolling his eyes.

"Come on," Raph said, ignoring their banter and motioning with his hand. "Let's find that stuff and get outta here."

We tentatively stepped off the elevator, poised and on the ready for a threat. No one came. We heard the elevator doors shut behind us and it was gone. I carefully sheathed my swords and stepped forward. The hall was very similar to the last one, bare walls, grey tile, and numerous stainless steel doors, any of which could lead us to the drug. I took a deep breath.

"It's quiet….too quiet…" Mikey whispered next to me, then grunted as Raph's palm connected with the back of his head.

We moved forward and stopped at the first door. Like the previous door there was a small button on the side. Don moved forward and pressed it, causing the door to quickly open. We were ready for enemies, but as the door opened we could see the room was empty. There was nothing inside except for a few small cots that appeared to be recently slept in. Don shrugged. "Next." He said.

We closed the door and moved to the next. We opened a second and a third but were met with similar rooms with nothing but a few cots and no one present. We looked at each other, confused. I glanced down the rest of the hall. There were still numerous more doors to go.

"Let's each start taking a door." Don said. "We need to hurry." I didn't like opening each door alone, not knowing what would be behind them, but we were running out of time. I finally nodded my approval and we spread out, this time each going to a different door.

I hesitated at the door I had chosen, watching my brothers scatter. I took a deep breath then turned to my door and pressed the button. The door slid open. I stepped a tentative foot forward and looked inside. The room appeared to be a small armory. The walls were lined with swords and bo staffs. There were racks of throwing stars and nun-chucks hanging from bolts in the walls. I let my eyes quickly scan the room looking for anything that could resemble a lab space or drug, but there was nothing. I stepped back out and closed the door.

I walked further down the hall and met the next closed door. I pressed the button and the door slid open. I froze. I was staring at an empty, bare room with nothing but shackles hanging from the walls. The walls were grey and plain masonry. The shackles were hanging open and empty. The plain grey floor was covered with spatters of dried blood, blood that had in all likelihood been there a long time. A chill like ice filled my blood as I stared at the horrifying room.

"_You are weak, Leonardo."_

_Crack._

"_I will have you."_

_Crack._

"_Retrieve more drug."_

"Leo?" I visibly jumped as a hand landed on my shoulder, but I could not tear my eyes away from the room. My breaths were coming quickly and I felt my muscles begin to tremble. I felt my red banded brother stiffen next to me as he saw what I was staring at, his hand tightening on my shoulder.

"Come on." He said softly. He put his arm around my shoulders and turned me around, walking me further down the hall. I felt the hold of the room begin to lessen as Raph lead me farther away from its memories of torture. I heard one of my other brothers gasp as they came across the room I had just been standing in front of. Then I heard the hiss of the door closing.

I felt another arm snake around my shoulders as Mikey came up on the other side of me. "You OK?" he asked.

I nodded quickly. "It's near." I said simply, wanting quickly to forget about the room I had just seen.

"What?" Raph asked, almost as if he forgot about the task at hand.

"The drug." I answered. "Whenever he ordered more drug, someone would leave and would return within seconds, a minute at most. It's near."

Raph nodded. "Then let's find it and get the hell out of here."

We moved on, coming across the next room. This time all of us stayed together, almost as if they were afraid to let me go on alone. Don reached forward and pressed the button, causing the door to open.

The room inside was dark and Don had to step inside and flip on a light. The lights flickered, then turned on, illuminating the room in an iridescent glow. The room appeared to be another lab like space. There were stainless steel tables that lined the walls. Beakers and instruments lay on top of the tables. There were cabinets lined with substances. A large glass fronted refrigerator sat in the far corner. A large filing cabinet was pushed up against the far wall. We stepped further inside the room.

"This has to be it." Don said, scanning the room.

"But how do we know what it is, or where it is?" Mikey asked, his eyes widening as he took in all the instruments and beakers full of substances that were unknown.

"Do you remember what it looked like?" Don asked, looking at me hopefully. "Anything about it that would help us figure out which of these it is?"

I tried to remember anything about the drug as it was being carried in and out of my cell, but all I could remember was the burning sensation as it entered my veins. I swallowed hard. "No, I don't think I ever saw it." I answered.

"Then I say we destroy it all." Raph said darkly. "No reason to take any chances."

"Sounds good to me," Mikey said.

We quickly moved into the room, Don ran first to the filing cabinet, presumably to try and find out if there were any paper records of the substance. Raph and Mikey moved to the cabinets, wrenching them open and immediately grabbing bottles and throwing them on the floor, shattering them one by one. I made my way to the refrigerator, opening the door and scanning the contents, to see if there was anything inside that reminded me of the drug. A name, a smell, anything that jogged my memory of the substance.

"Such rude guests." A dark voice spoke from behind us. I turned quickly and saw Bishop standing in the doorway, his nose broken, dried blood caked to his face, his mouth turned in an angry sneer. Behind him stood a slew of foot ninja, and I was sure that there were more standing out in the hall. We were trapped in the room.

"Back off Bishop," Raph growled, holding one of the jars in his hands. "Or we'll destroy it all."

Bishop frowned. "You will pay for your intrusion." He stated simply. I stepped away from the fridge and moved to the middle of the room, drawing my weapons. My muscles were taught in rage.

"Attack them!" he yelled, and the room began to flood with foot. I heard Raph and Mikey meet them and engage in battle, but I quickly lost sight of them as more moved into the room. I backed up and engaged the first ninja that met me. Don followed just behind me. I heard his bo connect solidly with one of the ninja, causing them to crumple to the floor.

I brought my swords up and heard them clang as they met the weapons of the ninja in front of me. I swung my sword out and knocked his weapon from his hands, quickly countering with a kick, knocking him backward. He was quickly replaced with another. I brought my swords up again to block the blow. I drove him backward and quickly brought my blades back around, bringing the hilts down over his back, causing him to crumple to the floor.

My muscles screamed from under use and my injuries burned from the action, but I pushed the pain from my mind. I had to stay focused for my brother's sakes. Another ninja came at me and I quickly ducked and threw him over my head, causing him to crash loudly into the refrigerator, causing its contents to spill over the floor. I heard another crash and looked over to see a foot ninja lying on the floor in a pool of liquid, Raph standing near by, engaging the next.

I turned back to face the next foot ninja, but instead found myself face to face with Bishop, his broken nose only inches from my own. "Hello, Leonardo." He spat.

Hate flooded through me and I immediately picked up my swords and swung out at him in defense. He quickly dodged the blow and threw out his fist, connecting with my plastron and knocking me backward. I kept my footing and was just able to raise my swords and block the next blow as he brought it down. While blocking his onslaught with my weapons, he kicked out and his foot connected with my chest. I flew backward and crashed into one of the tables behind me. He brought down another punch but I was able to recover and roll to the right, dodging the blow. I kicked out my foot and hit his shins causing him to be knocked back a few steps. I took the momentary reprieve to gain my feet, but immediately had to dodge his blow as he brought his arm out to knock be backward.

My injuries screamed in pain as I continued to try and duck and dodge his attacks. Bishop was difficult to best on a good day, and I was having a tough time keeping up. He sent a blow toward my head and I was able to knock it away with my swords, but again he knocked me backward with his foot. I flew backward with force, crashing into the filing cabinet. My head spun as it connected with the metal. I shook it off and moved to counter. I could feel myself tiring with each attack. New bruises formed over old ones. I stood and took a few steps back in retreat, panting, my arms shaking with exhaustion. Bishop continued to move toward me.

"I will kill you for your betrayal." He growled and came at me again kicking out strongly with his foot. I quickly dodged the attack.

"My betrayal?" I countered through my heavy breaths. Rage suddenly surged through me at his words. "You caused me to turn against my family!" A new strength surged through me as I remembered my attacks against my family, all caused by him. I swung my blades forward, causing Bishop to jump backward to avoid them. I kicked out, my foot hitting his chest and he was knocked backward with a loud grunt. "You tortured me!" I brought my blades forward, causing him to roll out of the way. I took his momentary distraction and brought a hard kick to his shoulder, causing him to take a few steps back. "You invaded my mind!" I kicked out again, connecting fully with his stomach, knocking him across the floor where he landed on his back. I was on top of him in an instant, no longer feeling the pain and exhaustion as rage coursed through me. He held up his hands as I stood over him with my blades hovering over his neck. "I should kill you for that!" I growled, my eyes narrowed and dark. I wanted to kill him. I wanted it to end.

A grunt from my brother near by broke my attention and I turned out of habit toward the sound. My moment of distraction allowed Bishop to push my swords away and strike out with his foot, swiping my legs out from under me. I crashed backward to the floor, only just able to keep my blades in my hands. I quickly moved away and stood again, raising my blades in defense, ready to come after him again. I barely had time to regain my bearings when a horrible sound pierced the air. It ravaged my brain, paralyzing me in pain. I dropped my swords and brought my hands to my head, grasping at my head, willing the sound to stop and the pain to end.

"You didn't think I was without a back up plan did you?" I heard his voice cut through the noise as it continued to drone. I moaned softly and fell to my knees, continuing to clutch at my head, unable to focus on anything else.

"There is another chip, just under your skin behind your head, no bigger than a grain of rice." He said, stepping closer to my writhing form. My hands continued to grasp desperately at my skull. I felt as if my brain was going to explode.

"Leo!" I heard one of my brothers yell through the haze, but I could not answer.

"Just an easy way to immobilize you. In case of escape." He explained, as if he were speaking to a child. I let another strangled moan escape my lips. I thought I felt bile in the back of my throat, but it was hard to tell through the excruciating pain.

Then suddenly the sound stopped. I lay in a pathetic heap on the floor. I could vaguely hear the sounds of battle around me, but I could not bring myself to move. Any strength that I had was stripped. My muscles were trembling. My head pounded and my hands continued to grasp at my head. I tried to open my eyes and a blurry image appeared in front of me. Bishop stepped toward me, a syringe in his hand. No, not the drug. I tried to squirm to my feet, but my head was spinning. I felt my stomach flipping back and forth and thought I could vomit. Bishop continued to advance toward me, the syringe raised and soon he was looming over me. I tried to move, to fight back, to escape, something to stop him from converging on me, but my body was revolting and I could not bring my limbs to obey. I lay there watching as he brought the needle closer to my skin. I could do nothing to stop him.


	19. Chapter 19

I threw my sais up to block another attack, pushing my enemy back and kicking out with my foot sending him flying into a nearby table, sending glass flying in his wake. I saw Mikey out of the corner of my eye, dealing expertly with another member of the foot. I had lost track of Leo and Don in the ensuing madness, and though I was worried, I couldn't allow it to distract me. Not if we were going to win this battle where we were highly outnumbered.

Another ninja came at me and I channeled my rage at him. Rage at what they had done to Leo. Rage at what they had put my family through. The little peon didn't stand a chance. I wrenched my sais forward, locking them on my opponent's weapons and pulling them from his grip, then turned and laid a strong kick to his chest, sending him flying into three of his friends.

No ninja replaced him immediately and I had a moment to survey my surroundings. I saw Mikey, still holding his own only a few feet from where I was. I was able to locate Don toward the back of the room who seemed to be fairing well. My eyes eagerly scanned the battle for Leo, and my eyes fell on him, his swords at Bishop's throat. I moved forward wanting to help Leo with Bishop, refusing to let my brother take him on alone.

Suddenly I heard Mikey let out a grunt next to me and I turned my gaze to find him being knocked backward by one of his opponents. I ran to help and met the attacking ninja with ferocity, dispatching him quickly. Mikey leapt back to his feet and gave me a small smile of thanks, then jumped back into battle.

I turned to meet my next opponent when I saw Leo suddenly drop to the floor. My heart leapt in my throat. He was lying on the floor, writhing as if in horrible pain. I saw him clutching his head. Bishop was taking slow steps toward him holding what looked to be a remote in his hand. Leo let out a low moan.

"Leo!" I yelled, but he didn't seem to hear me. I rushed to help him but my progress was stopped by two ninja who attacked in earnest. My concern for my brother raged and I quickly was able to dispatch them, but was met with more opponents. I began to become desperate, fighting them off in a panicked rage, trying desperately to reach Leo.

"Don! Mikey!" I yelled over the battle. "Leo needs help!"

Then my heart sped and ice flooded my veins. Karai had entered the room, her weapons drawn, her long black hair pulled in a tight pony tail behind her head. She moved through the waves of attacking foot with ease, quickly and almost gracefully. I should have expected her to show up seeing as how she had formed an alliance with Bishop, but seeing her appear still sent dread through my body. I watched as she quickly approached where I had last seen Leo.

Through the crowd I could see Leo lying on the ground. His writhing had stopped but he seemed unable to move. Bishop loomed over him, a syringe in his hand.

"No!" I yelled. I turned and saw Karai quickly closing the distance between them. Leo didn't stand a chance.

"Karai, don't you dare touch him!" I screamed. I desperately threw the two foot ninja in my way to the side, trying to clear a path so I could help my brother. But even as I managed to close the distance I could tell I would be too late. Bishop was lowering the syringe and Karai had reached him. Leo struggled weakly but didn't seem able to move.

Then Karai turned toward Bishop and I watched in surprise as she brought her weapons down on his hand, causing him to grunt in pain and drop the syringe to the floor. My mouth dropped open and for a minute I was paralyzed. Bishop reached out and tried to grab the syringe back but Karai took it under her foot and kicked it into the crowd of fighting ninja.

I heard Bishop growl in anger. "What are you doing?" he screamed, reaching his feet, forgetting about Leo who was still lying in a motionless heap.

"The alliance is over." Karai spat. "I will not continue to compromise my honor. I am through with this plan."

"You will let them escape!" Bishop yelled in anger.

"Then they will escape." She said. Bishop growled in anger and threw himself at her. I watched as she raised her blades and countered him, swiftly dodging his attack and kicking him backward, causing him to connect roughly with the wall.

Their battle moved away from my brother and I fought my way through the crowd to Leo's side. I kicked away a few enemies who were battling near him and turned, ready to protect him. He had barely moved. I raised my weapons, ready to take on any foot ninja who dared to come near my brother. Then a piercing voice carried over the battle.

"Foot ninja, disappear!"

The ninja in black suddenly let up their fighting and turned toward their mistress. I could sense their confusion at the sudden call to retreat, especially since victory seemed imminent. But the confusion passed and, without another word they backed off, obeying their leader without question. The ninja still standing moved toward the fallen and picked them up from the floor and then, as quickly as they had appeared, they retreated, leaving the three of us panting and confused, but relieved.

Once the threat was gone, I quickly sheathed my weapons and dropped to Leo's side, gently placing my hand on his face. "Leo?" I spoke through heavy breaths. I watched him shift below me and his eyes opened.

"Raph?" he asked, confused and foggy. I saw his eyes sluggishly move back and forth as if trying to survey his surroundings. "Karai…"

"Shhh," I soothed, trying to quiet his concern. "It's alright."

"She…" he said but I cut off his words and placed my finger to his mouth.

"I know." I answered.

Don and Mikey ran up next to me, panting and just as confused as I was. "What just happened?" Mikey asked, still trying to understand why the foot had suddenly retreated.

I shook my head. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you." I said.

"Is he alright?" Don asked with concern, eyeing Leo on the floor. Leo must have heard his question because he cracked an eye and looked up at Don.

"I'm fine." He said softly. I watched as he seemed to regain his ability to move and tried to push himself up to a sitting position. I grabbed one arm and Don grabbed another and we helped him to his feet. He seemed weak on his legs so I immediately placed an arm around his back and leaned him into me for support.

We turned and surveyed the damage. Broken glass and liquid covered the floor. The refrigerator was shattered and overturned, the contents spilled over the ground. The there did not appear to be much that was still in tact. I turned to where I had seen Bishop land after his fight with Karai. The space was empty, but I could follow a trail of blood from where he had been that lead out into the hall. The vermin had snuck out. It enraged me to know that he was still alive and probably still within the building. I desperately wanted to go after him and finish my revenge, but the weight of Leo leaning against me kept me grounded. We needed to get him home.

"Come on," I said, looking at Don and Mikey. "Let's finish this."

Don nodded. We made our way out of the room and Don turned, pulling out three small devices from his belt. He pressed a small button on each device then threw them into the room.

"Go!" he said urgently. We turned and quickly made our way down the rest of the hall. The entire building shook as the devices exploded, causing fire and broken glass to rain out of the open door. We ducked our heads to protect ourselves from flying glass. Finally the explosions died off.

"Why didn't we just start with that?" I asked with a hint of amusement. Suddenly I got my answer. The ceiling began to crack under the stress of the explosions and small pieces of rubble rained down.

"It was a last resort!" Don yelled over the explosions. " Now, let's get outta here!" He lurched forward and Mikey and I followed, each taking one of Leo's arms and helping to support him out of the building. We ran to the end of the hall and found a stairwell that still seemed untouched.

"Up or down?" I yelled over the collapsing ceiling.

"Up!" Don answered after surveying the area. We jumped into the stairwell and began making our way up the stairs as quickly as we could with Leo supported between us. He tried his best to move his feet with us, but his legs were still weak from whatever injury he had taken in battle. We went up two more flights of stairs before we reached a large metal door that lead to the roof. Don quickly pushed it open and we exited the building and burst into the dark night.

The cool air hit our skin as we ran from the stairwell and onto the top of the building. The roof was collapsing as the stress to the building spread from the explosions. Don motioned to us and we followed him away from the collapsing roof and to the far side of the building. We reached the edge and Mikey let go of Leo, allowing me to take his weight. He pulled his grappling hook from his belt and threw it to the next building. I watched as he quickly crossed the rope. Don followed. Once they reached the other side they pulled down an old metal ladder and dropped it between the buildings, giving me a way to cross with Leo in tow.

"Hurry!" Don yelled, and as he said that the roof lurched almost knocking me off my feet. I steadied myself then stepped forward with Leo next to me.

"Can you get your feet under you?" I asked. Apparently the question caused some offense, because Leo glared at me, then used all his strength to get his feet under him. We made our way across the ladder as quickly as we could, one step at a time, me helping to support him the whole way. We reached the other roof and as we put our feet down we were knocked off balance as another explosion erupted from the next building, knocking the ladder from the roof.

I lay on the ground on my back with Leo lying next to me, trying not to focus on how close we had come to falling 45 stories into the alley below. Another rumble grabbed my attention and I pulled myself up, then leaned down to help Leo back to his feet. He accepted my help gratefully and I pulled him to his feet and helped him over to the roof's edge where Mikey and Don stood facing the building we had just left.

The roof was collapsing and occasional jets of flame shot up toward the sky from the fire that had started within. Don came up on Leo's other side and took his arm, wrapping it around his shoulders to help support him up.

We stood there in the cold night watching the top floors of the building collapse from the explosions we had set off. I turned my head toward Leo who had his eyes fixed on the building, a look of retribution and peace lay across his features. As I looked at him I saw that he was still wearing the black bandana, the one that the foot had made him wear. He had worn it to make our plan more believable, but now there was no more need for it. My eyes narrowed and I pulled the cloth gently from his face. He didn't protest as I took the symbol of his captivity and chucked it at the burning building, allowing it to be engulfed by the flames. I let myself smile, then turned back, enjoying watching the building that fueled my brother's nightmares burn to the ground.

Soon the night was filled with the sounds of sirens and we watched as fire trucks pulled up to the building. The arrival of the trucks pulled us from our thoughts.

"Let's go home." Mikey said, rubbing his arms to try and keep himself warm.

I felt Leo shift next to me and could feel his exhaustion almost as if it were my own. I tightened my grip around his shoulders.

"Yeah," Leo spoke next to me, his voice soft but sure. And with that we turned our gaze away from the smoldering building and melted into the dark night to make our way home.

We helped Leo down a long fire escape and down into the alley. Don surveyed the surrounding area, looking for any threats, before quickly making his way to the nearest manhole. We stopped in front of it and just as Don was leaning down to lift the lid, we saw her step from the nearby shadows, two foot ninja flanking each side.

We stared at each other, unsure of what to do. I saw Don and Mikey pull their weapons from their belts, ready to fight, but Karai held up her hand in response almost as a sign of peace. As I stared at her slender figure, the familiar hate I felt for her was buried and a spark of gratitude rose within me. She had saved Leo's life.

I watched as Leo lifted his head weakly and met her eyes. They stared at each other as an unspoken communication passed between them.

"Thank you," he spoke softly, never letting his gaze waiver from hers.

I watched as she tilted her head slightly forward in acknowledgement. Then her mouth turned into the smallest of smiles. "This changes nothing." She said simply. Then without another sound she turned and she and the other ninja melted into the night and disappeared.

I tightened my grip around Leo and pulled his weakened body closer. He turned his head toward mine and our eyes met. I smiled.

"Would someone please explain to me what just happened?" Mikey shouted, placing his weapons back in his belt and staring at Leo and I with an incredulous look. I turned to Don and saw his mouth hanging open in confusion. I snorted and Leo let out a small bark of laughter.

"We'll explain later." I said shortly, gracing Mikey with a large grin as I watched confusion spread across his face. "Let's get home."

And without another word I turned toward the manhole. Don lifted the lid and we disappeared underground, one by one, into the safety of the sewers.


	20. Chapter 20

The walk home was long and tiresome. My feet ached under me and each step I took caused my muscles to burn as if I was dragging lead weights behind me. My head was pounding and it was all I could do to keep myself upright and walking forward. But the thought of going home kept me on my feet despite my exhaustion.

It took us awhile to get our bearings once we were under ground. Luckily during the trek from the alley to Bishop's hideout Don was able to track our progress to some degree which at least gave us a good idea of which way to go to get home. It wasn't long before we came across familiar areas of sewer and made our way back home.

I had Raph flanking me on one side and Don on the other. I was in better shape than I was the last time we had made this trek home, but I still appreciated the support of my brothers to help me through my exhaustion.

"You alright?" I heard Raph asked at one point, breaking through the silence.

"Yeah," I answered back hiding the strain in my voice. I didn't know if I had the energy left to say more.

I managed to try and push the pain out of my mind by thinking back on our raid of Bishop's building. It had seemed that we were not going to make it out alive as foot after foot flooded into the lab. Then Bishop had come and I thought I was going to be lost. It frightened me that he could still have a hold over me. I had not known about that chip, and the way that it had debilitated me was unnerving. I let me eyes drift shut trying to block out the memories of the excruciating pain I had felt.

Then Karai had come. I could not figure out what had persuaded her to save my life. She normally held such radical hate for me, and yet she had fought Bishop and called off her ninja, allowing us to escape. A memory flooded back to me when I was in captivity of a fight she and Bishop had shared. I could not remember the exact words, but she had not been happy with his progress. She had mentioned honor. I wondered if the brutality Bishop had put me through did not sit right with her. I let a hint of a smile cross my face. She had made it clear that her actions did not mean the bad blood between us had been cleared, but she had still saved my life, and though she was behind the plan at the beginning, I could no longer hold blame or contempt for what she had started.

I was drawn from my thoughts as my brothers on either side stopped and I looked up to find that we were home. Mikey reached out and pulled the levers and the door slid open. The soft glow of candle light filtered out and as we stepped inside our father stood in the hallway, awaiting our arrival. When he saw us step through the door, all more or less under our own power, he let out a cry of relief and made his way over to us.

He stopped in front of us and combed us all over with his eyes, taking in our wounds and exhaustion. His eyes looked hooded and bloodshot as if he had recently shed tears. Finally, once he was satisfied that we were all in one piece and none mortally wounded, he spoke.

"Are you boys alright?" he asked, his voice soft and with the hint of a tremor.

"We're alright." Don answered, a soft smile playing across his face.

He smiled and moved in front of me, then motioned with his hands for us to come nearer. Then he snaked his arms around us, nuzzling each of us one by one. A small sigh escaped my lips as I relished in his affection. Though I was still ravaged with guilt for what I had done to him, I knew that he had forgiven me completely. After a few moments he finally let go of us and stepped back.

"Sensei, is everything alright?" Don asked him, not used to him reacting in this way when we returned.

"Yes," he said. "I just thought…" He then stepped further into the lair. We followed him into the living room and saw the TV was turned on. The screen was filled with the image of a large building burning, surrounded by firefighters and police. The feed was live, showing the firemen fight the raging blaze.

"Just hours ago explosions rang through this dilapidated warehouse on 116th. Firefighters have been battling the blaze for over an hour and have only just begun to gain control of the blaze." We watched as a curly haired brunette came onto the screen, a grave expression on her face. "It is unknown at this time if there have been any casualties, but as of yet, no bodies have been found. However it appears this warehouse will be doomed as the fire continues to rage. In other news…"

We watched the picture switch to another story, then looked at our father, understanding now why he had been so worried. He had thought we were in the explosion. My heart broke and another wave of guilt rushed over me.

"We're alright," I said, trying to reassure him, my voice sounding more exhausted than I had intended. For the first time he seemed to notice my heavily lidded eyes, how I was being supported between Don and Raph, and how all of us looked like we were ready to fall asleep where we stood. He smiled, then without another word he motioned toward the couch. My mind was hazy and half asleep and I barely felt as my brother's fingers worked the straps of my leather belt, slowly removing my weapons and laying them on the floor. Before I knew it I was being pushed down on the couch and my weight fell heavily into the cushions.

I felt Raph plop down next to me on my right, and Mikey to my left. Before I could stop myself I fell to the side, my exhaustion finally catching up with me. I felt Mikey's arm catch me and snake its way around my shoulders and I fell into him, my head falling to rest on his shoulder.

"It's over," I murmured, my eyes starting to fall shut.

"No bodies though," I heard Raph mutter and I realized what he meant. No bodies found meant Bishop was likely still out there. Suddenly my eyes shot open and I pulled myself upright. Mikey jumped in surprise at my sudden movement and both he and Raph turned toward me in concern. My heart began to race and I pulled my aching arm backward grasping at the back of my head.

"Leo?" Mikey asked, worry lacing his voice.

"The chip." I stammered, my fingers feeling desperately across the back of my head. My brothers stared at me as if I had lost my mind.

"Leo, what're you…" Raph started.

"The chip, the thing Bishop put in me!" I tried to explain as panic began to enter my voice.

"Is that why you collapsed?" Raph asked, realization suddenly dawning on him. I nodded in earnest.

"He had a remote and said he placed a back up chip to control me in case I tried to escape. It completely immobilized me." I explained.

Don was suddenly on his feet and walked rapidly to his lab. A few moments later he returned, a small blade, a needle, and a large Band-Aid in his hand. He came up behind me on the couch.

"Lean forward," he said softly. I followed his request. I began to feel his fingers probe the back of my skull, looking for the small chip I had just described. A moment later he placed his finger in a certain spot. "Found it." He said. "Hold still, I'm going to numb the area first." I felt numerous small needle pricks in my skin and soon I could no longer feel Don's finger against my head. "Don't move." He instructed. I felt Mikey take my hand and I continued to stare straight forward, not even daring to breathe.

A few moments passed before I heard Don's voice speak in triumph. "Got it!" he said. I heard a small clink as whatever he had removed landed in the small metal basin Don had brought with him. I attempted to turn to see what he had removed. "Hold still," Don reprimanded. "I still need to stop the bleeding." I continued to hold for a few more moments until Don gave me the all clear that he was finished.

I leaned back in the couch heavily, a giant relief flooding me now that the last hold Bishop had over me was removed. I felt Raph shift next to me and turn toward Don.

"What is it?" he asked.

Don was silent for a moment, likely studying the chip. "My guess is it's some sort of radio frequency emitter, likely controlled by some sort of remote."

I only half listened to their exchange. The chip was gone and that was all that mattered to me. I didn't care how it worked, honestly I didn't want to know. I was free of it. I leaned back into Mikey's form, a second wind of exhaustion beginning to engulf me.

"Do you think it's destroyed?" I heard Mikey ask.

"It has to be." Raph said. "You saw that building after the explosions. It'll be a miracle if it is even still standing after tomorrow."

"But what about a recipe?" Mikey continued, clearly still concerned that whatever Bishop had used could still exist. "Do you think that was destroyed too?"

No one spoke for a few moments. I continued to rest my head on Mikey's shoulder, my eyes closed, but what Mikey had said struck a nerve. What if there were instructions on how to make the stuff that was still out there? What if Bishop had it?

I heard Don shift and there was a soft rustle of papers as he pulled something from his belt. I cracked an eye open and turned my head toward him and saw him pull out a file with numerous pieces of paper inside that was folded up from his belt. He smiled.

"When I was going through the filing cabinet, before Bishop arrived, I found this." He held up the small stack of papers. "It has the ingredients, how to make the stuff, all of it. It was all the information I could find before we were found, but I think that it should be everything since all of the computers were likely destroyed in the blast."

I looked at Don with wide eyes then shook my head in surprise. "Don, you're amazing." I heard Raph mutter and Don blushed slightly. He then walked over to where the nearest candle sat burning and held up the pages to the flame. The corner of the page ignited and slowly the page began to char and burn as the fire spread through the fibers. I watched the page burn, the firelight reflected off my tired eyes, a feeling of overwhelming relief and satisfaction taking over as the last part of my horrifying ordeal burned away to nothing.

"So it really is over," I spoke softly and I felt Mikey tighten his grip around my shoulders.

"Yeah," Raph breathed out. He then leaned back into the couch next to me and laid his head backward, letting his eyes close and a small smile cross his face. He leaned closer to me until I was happily sandwiched between two brothers.

I began to drift off once again, my head still nestled on Mikey's shoulder, when suddenly he spoke. "So seriously, what was the deal with Karai?"

My eyes opened at his words and my gaze met Raph's. Understanding passed between us in that single moment, then we both began to laugh softly. That soft laughter began to grow as all the stress and relief we had felt over the past weeks was released. Raph slapped his hand to my shoulder and we continued to laugh until tears leaked from our eyes. Mikey and Don gazed back and forth between us and each other, confusion painted across their faces. Finally our laughter began to die and Raph reached over me to pat Mikey lightly on the back of the head.

"We'll tell you about it later," he said, still snickering slightly. "But seriously, right now, I just want to sleep for the next week."

I sighed softly and smiled. "Sounds good to me."

My eyes drifted shut again and my body fully relaxed and I felt as though the weight of the world had been lifted from my shoulders. We had made it through. There was healing ahead, both physical and mental, but with the support of family and the knowledge that the drug could no longer hurt us, I knew that we would make it through. It would take time for me to move past what I had done and what had been done to me, but I knew I was loved and that was all that mattered now. Moments later my body gave into my exhaustion. Sometime during my rest I remember being lifted and carried gently into my room and tucked tightly into my bed, but sleep had immediately reclaimed me. And for the first time in a long time I finally slept, and nightmares did not plague me.

THE END

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Thanks so much for reading the story! It was a fun one to write! Hope everyone enjoyed.


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